No General Knowledge, nothing to talk about

Webmonkey

Hi There,

This is a bit of a personal issue for me but mods if you think it suited for somewhere else please feel free.

Basically i have very little general knowledge. For example, I dont have any idea what is happening in the world of celebritys - I don't watch TV that much and don't follow celebritys lifes because frankly i don't see the point to it.
Much rather watch something educational.

Now I have a problem when it comes to interacting with groups of people because most of the time all they talk about is TV, Music which i wouldn't have a clue of, even the most obvious well known stuff. I don't want to ask people about it either as i'm not interested in that stuff.

Now this kind of makes me a bit not talkative as I don't have much to say to new people, unless they have very similer interests to me like computers for example. Not many out there either that have that interest

In a way i feel kinda dumb, that i know nothing about every day things like that and the fact i feeling bit dumb makes me afraid to even ask a question as maybe it obvious.

I don't know if I am alone on this or not, but those this effect others or not? I feel all alone thinking I the only one that hasn't got to grips on what happening around me.

Maybe what i posted is a load of **** but just want to see what people think and again mods move it if you dont' think it a personal enough issue.

Thanks.

Karoma

news.google.ie and aertel and you're up to speed on that doesn't matter in 5 min's...if you insist.
And, no, you're not alone. Try a different group of people.

King.Penguin

Yeah there a lot's of people like you (or like the way you describe yourself). People who are very knowledgeable about a specific thing (some kind of academia, computers etc.) but just don't follow current affairs or popular trends.

I say you have great chats with your granny

Perhaps you should enlighten yourself to popular culture via the internet? Watch a bit of lost? REad news sites?

dame

Flick through a newspaper most days or give a quick look at www.rte.ie/news and www.unison.ie (or similar) every day.

Lots of people aren't particularly interested in the lives of celebrities or the ramblings of various political figures, but a quick glance keeps you at least aware of what's occurring in the world.

Webmonkey

Thanks guys, was thinking of newspaper alright. I'll try do that now. Would be a good way alright. Cheers

Dalfiatach

I was a bit of a nerdy teenager meself. Had no interest in sport or TV or, God help us, fashion (in the broader sense of whatever happened to be "cool" this week). I was into me music though - not chart stuff, I was a rocker/goth/indiekid - anything with guitars basically.

In my mid-20s I started going along to watch GAA and soccer matches in the pub with mates. Still think soccer is a stupid game, but like me GAA and have been to Croker loads of times since. GAA is great for the inter-county slagging. But the advantage of going along to the soccer matches (even though I've no interest in the game itself), which I still do, is that I have a vague idea about what's going on in the Premiership or the Champoins League, so I can at least hold my own in conversations. Plus, if it's work people you meet up with of a Tue/Wed/Sat/Sun to watch the match over a pint or three, even if yer naturally the quiet type you'll be seen as sociable enough and "grand when you get to know him" rather than "silent anti-social freak". And since I finally got round to learning to drive and get a car about 5 years back, I can talk cars too. w00t! A group of lads can spend endless hours in the pub just chatting about cars and the shocking driving you saw from some muppet earlier, and the time you drove from Galway to Cork to Dublin and back to Galway in 24 hours...

I've found people tend not to mind if you shrug and say "no interest in that stuff to be honest" as long as you can actually hold down a conversation in something "normal". Sport, cars, TV, music, travel are probly the biggies - food and clothes are always good for a few minutes. Pick one of them that you don't mind too much and learn enough so's when any of them come up you can contribute at least. Then people won't think yer weird And if they already know you have no real interest in something, they'll happily bore you for 10 minutes while they explain their obsession with Posh n Becks or Big Brother, so you can feel free to ask questions about what they're on about when yer completely lost in a conversation.

I'm a programmer and I never talk about computers unless I'm talking to other IT people. It bores the average person to death. I have particular friends that I discuss history, politics and economics with because I know they're interested in them too. Never start a discussion on those three with people you don't know well, let someone else start the conversation there.

You will get small minded idiots that go "What do you mean you don't watch Big Brother? OMG, looooser" but you can safely ignore them. Their conversation is rarely likely to be interesting so yer not missing much.

Webmonkey

Thanks for that excellent post. Nah i never dream of mentioning computers to people unless they start the conversation first.
As for going to watch matches, yeah that not bad idea either. Don't have time for pubs at moment though with exams and all but will definetely do it during summer.
I do have other interests alright - great interest in cars so that something to talk to the lads bout i guess! Thoguh i have my obsessions with cars too.

Thanks though

Pigman II

Identify which subjects keep coming up with the company you keep. Bookmark boards.ie forums that corresponds to subject findings. Have a quick scan thru these forums once per week. Generally no-one here knows what they are talking about so you will gain a half-assed knowledge of said subject in minutes.

Then just read the opening summary section on Wikipedia articles and you will gain the second half of your ass. eg I haven't watched a single second of the Cricket World Cup since it started but I could keep a brief conversation going with a viewer of the competition as long as it doesn't get too deep.

Takes just minutes a day and you can chit-chat on a variety of subjects. Nothing worse than having to work with a mong who can't talk about anything other than their pet subjects and their work all the time. They are usually the most boring & dour scum in the universe.

ZygOte

try and get into the habbit of reading news websites, news.bbc.co.uk is fantastic , i find every time i sit at a computer i have a quick look to see if theres anything new, theres lots of interesting stuff to read, and once your familiar with it each subsequent visit is just a "top up"

Takeshi_Kovacs

Don't worry yourself about not knowing who the latest celeb is and all that tripe, as frankly it will just dull your mind... stick to what you know best, as you will find that there is a lot more interesting people out there, who don't watch tv, or obsessively read sh!te magazines to find out who is wearing what and such...

Sangre

I don't watch TV or follow celebrity culture either (although you cant but help pick some of it up). I've never seen it as a barrier to conversation. If someone asks me about it I usually repsond with 'i don't follow that crap'.

If I had friends who only talked about TV or celebs I'd quickly move on. If conversation moves to some innane topic I quickly make my displeasure known (did it last night actually).

ando

no your not alone. i genearly dont follow celeb's life's or football news etc etc, i love motorsport but find it hard to find anyone to talk to about it... you just have different interests, it doesnt make you weird or anything

dame

Google "Asperger's Syndrome", "AS", "Aspie" etc and read the results that give tips on living with AS. Aspie's have a tough time making social conversation too (I should know), but these skills can be learnt and there are plenty of tips and personal stories out there on the web. Some of the advice would seem completely basic and obvious to most people but maybe reading it would give you a few pointers or a different viewpoint on things at least.

EDIT:
Many people have some Asperger's traits and have never realised it. There are various online tests available such as; http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

Here's a site on living with Asperger's;
http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2004/5/17/172914/576

simu

Just ask people questions about what they start talking about as a way to keep the conversation going. They might be chuffed as they get to appear knowledgeable. I was hopeless at small talk too for years, I didn't seem to have a natural aptitude for it. I figured it out bit by bit but I still find it annoying at times and conversations I'm in sometimes bomb!

I refuse to follow celebrities, though! One must maintain certain standards!:D

Nevyn

We do not diagnoise people on this forum Dame.

Lots of people have dificulty making small talk with 'normal' strangers it is infact a skill that has be learned and not having devilped that skill does not mean one has a syndrome.

SarahSassy

Sangre wrote:

If conversation moves to some innane topic I quickly make my displeasure known (did it last night actually).

Not particularily good advice IMHO as it could be perceived as pompous which does not exactly warm people to you.

meglome

I make a point myself of not reading or watching any reality TV, soap operas or anything about so called celebrities, nor do I ever listen to the radio. But on top of that I'm a curious person so I pick up titbits of info, usually just enough to have a good laugh at the rubbish people will watch or read. I tend to watch the news and read the newspapers at least online. If I have the TV on I’ll catch titbits of information. I don't follow any sports either but I'll often catch highlights of the soccer (which I suppose I enjoy) but I can also wind up some of the lads who take it very seriously.
Back in the day I worked for Microsoft (boo hiss) and the group I worked had a good compliment of slightly older married women most with children. At lunch they basically talked about soap opera and not much else, it drove me crazy. In the end I made a habit of not sitting with them as much as possible.

For me I find the thing is to have different groups of friends. I have my friends from Glasnevin since we were kids, I have my friends from different jobs I've worked plus the assortment of random characters I've gathered up over the years. They have different interests and they talk about different things.

Basically I'm a nerd myself but people who meet me wouldn't guess, although I tell them as I make a joke out of it. Just be relaxed and yourself, try to broaden your group of friends as much as possible and don't be afraid to have a wee chuckle at people who are into real trash.

dudara

I'm not the most natural conversationalist myself, but I do enjoying talking to people. It's taken time to develop, but most people have something worthwhile to say about something. Talking to people can be very interesting and educational. So just ease yourself in bit by bit.

Shellie13

interested=interesting.
So what if you don't have similar interests to your friends- if they are passionate about something and decent mates at all they'll have no problem explainin!

And if you're lookin to met new people try places that cater for your interests. Might sound basic but heading to a Nightclub that speclises in dance music mightn't be your top choice how about trying an internet cafe etc?!
Or even a chatroom or something?!
Good luck!

Webmonkey

Surprized how many replied to this thread. Thank you, all comments very helpful. I'll definetely be making an improvment now that I know i amn't alone and wierd! Thanks all

Dark Artist

If you do find yourself in a situation where you don't know what the people are talking about, just say so! That's what I always do. I just say, "What are you talking about? I never heard that." and they'll explain it to you.

Even if you haven't heard of some famous celebrity that they're talking about, they will most likely laugh with you rather than at you and you can all have a good laugh about it. That's how it always ends up for me anyways. Good way to educate yourself on general knowledge and to get a laugh also.

It all depends on how confident you are in admitting ignorance. If you can express your confusion confidently, and not be ashamed of it, they'll still respect you. The fear of speaking is only in your mind. Sometimes I come out with the stupidest things to say, but because they're so stupid they break the ice or start another conversation.

Just be yourself and don't pretend you know what they're on about if you don't.

LegacyUser

I found myself in a club last night unable to socialise.
Perhaps it was because i was too sober or too depressed.
In the company of a group of old friends with whom i have since drifted apart,
I wandered around the club looking for a comfortable place but found none.
Every passing moment drunk people stepped on my toes,
beautiful women passed me by,
I remarked to the girl next to me that i felt like a penguin.
She didn't know how to react, neither did i, i left.

DublinWriter

Webmonkey wrote:

Surprized how many replied to this thread. Thank you, all comments very helpful. I'll definetely be making an improvment now that I know i amn't alone and wierd! Thanks all

Most people love nothing else but to talk about themselves, their lives and their passions.

Dude...the secret is learning to listen, not to talk.

SarahSassy

DublinWriter wrote:

Dude...the secret is learning to listen, not to talk.

You got that in one!!!!!

The most important lesson to learn is not to fall asleep when people drone on and on and on.... :rolleyes:

Moojuice

Not knowing what celebrities are up to is a good thing. Get a paper every day. It helps a lot. Try and stay away from tabloids or if you do read them balance it out with something like the times or the Guardian. Even flicking through them will give you a sense of world events. The bbc news site is excellent. Its one of my homepages on my browser.

Fabio

Try reading some news and if you are in a college or something then join a society that you feel would suit you.

I see that you are living in Killarney....I was going to suggest that it might be a good idea for you to go along and watch a League of Ireland match.

They are great for getting to know people and, if like meself, you'd end of following Cork City, then most years you get to go away to somehwere in Europe for away ties of UEFA Cup, Interoto Cup and Champions League matches which is great for getting to know even more people.
Easy way to introduce yourself is through the forum of the club (www.ccfcforum.com for me) and then coming to a game and meeting up with people. I've made great friends that way and it really does make you come out of yourself.

LegacyUser

Sangre wrote:

II've never seen it as a barrier to conversation. If someone asks me about it I usually repsond with 'i don't follow that crap'.

...charming!
That one must go down a treat with the people who do follow all that crap! (and god help us there are lots of em - LOL).

Kell

Webmonkey wrote:

Surprized how many replied to this thread. Thank you, all comments very helpful. I'll definetely be making an improvment now that I know i amn't alone and wierd! Thanks all

I wouldnt stress TBH. Think of it this way- The ones who talk the loudest, have the least to say. Celebs, TV, Soaps- I mean, what impact does this shíte have in your life? Exactly- none. Have you tried having a reasonably meaningful conversation with these people? Prolly not and you'll prolly be stared at for being fúcking weird. It does sort the grain from the chaff though!

Talk to people about the things that interest YOU. A lot of people share the same thoughts/feelings as opposed to interests. Experience has taught me to talk about what I think and feel about things, because I just cant do small talk. You may well find that people go "I think/feel exactly the same but would have never vocalised it". Those kinda chats last much longer and if your talking to a woman, may well lead to consentual sex.

K-

mossieh

Buy the Irish Times every day. Read it. You'll be surprised at how interesting the world is and celebrities barely get a mention.

I don't work for the times by the way, it's just a very good paper.

biko

You're not alone when it comes to celebrity/gossip.
I'm crap at that and always loose at table quizzes cause I' can't name a single actor in a soap. Or who Paris Hilton is dating at the moment.

Great people talk about ideas,
average people talk about events,
small people talk about other people...

Sangre

amanitamuscaria wrote:

...charming!
That one must go down a treat with the people who do follow all that crap! (and god help us there are lots of em - LOL).

Good thing I don't care what soap and celeb junkies think.

Webmonkey

Great people talk about ideas,
average people talk about events,
small people talk about other people...

true. Thanks, baught paper today and yeah not much celebrity stuff. Interesting stuff out there alright. Cheers once again guys and girls.

davyjose

Just one thing, Webmonkey - don't feel you need to fit in to suit others. There are quite scarce amount of unique people out there and it's a valuable commoditiy. The right person will pick up on that (for instance, some of the more intelligent ppl on this board), and they really won't care that you don't know what Britney Spears had for breakfast that day.
It's not about knowledge, it's about wisdom. What I mean is, just talk about what you know, not events that have happened. Relate your experiences to others'. I haven't read the paper in weeks, but I could talk to anyone you sat in front of me. I'd ask questions, I'd listen and If in any way I had a similar experience, I'd give my input. If not I'd keep listening .... simple!!!