The Schitts

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Who Is Jack Schitt?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is
Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You
don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well,thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now
respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe
Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N.
Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe
Schitt.

The deeply religious couple produced six children:
Holie Schitt, Giva
Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins
Deep Schitt and Dip
Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep
Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced. Noe Schitt
later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids
were living with them,
she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then
known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they
produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and
Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently
married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding
announcement in the newspaper
announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The
Schitt-Happens children were
Dawg, Byrd,and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the
world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride,
Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,'
you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

zAbbo

the internet must have gone full circle if that jokes resurfacing.

humbert

'tis a classic though

old boy

just what i needed it on its merry way

Oriel

(Please don't ban me)
1998
</Please don't ban me)