Access to a 10 month old baby

LegacyUser

Can anyone suggest what access a court would award to a father of a ten month baby. The mother is suggesting four hours on a saturday and one to two hours twice weekdays and that we sort it outside court which i have applied for.

Maybe sombody in a similar situation reciently?

Thanks

Gordon

Moved from PI.

Love2love

If you are going to settle this outside court, it really has to be something that you both agree on. If you wish to see the child more maybe you could come to some arrangement. If you take the child overnight 1 weekend night, this might suit the mother too as it gives her a chance to go out.

dame

I haven't been in this situation but I agree with Love2love, it has to be something you both agree on if you're going to settle it yourselves.

I don't know what sort of relationship you have with the child at present but I think you should see the child for as long as possible as often as possible in order to build up and maintain the bond between you. 10 months is very young and babies and children need to form close bonds with as many people as posible so spending as much time as possible with each parent and the various grandparents and other relations can only be good for the child.

K-9

Does seem quite low.

Depends on how much you see the baby now and how much you have played a part in the child's life up to now.

Overnights are a big part in developing a bond.

C x

Thats not bad access for a child so young.
If you go to court you might get less.
The age of the child is taken into account.Overnights could be ruled out because of age and depending on father role.

Deliverance

Ok from personal experience: Being a single parent is hard work even if it is part time, my ex started out by giving me very little access, as time went on and trust grew I got much more access.This gave my ex much needed breaks which she became used and which she enjoys.

As time went on I got much more access, at the moment it is about 50/50, sometimes we even negotiate one or the other taking more time with my girl.

I think that once an initial relationship ends a new one is built up based on the child, it takes time and patience but with two dedicated parents it will work eventually.

'dame' made a good point which strikes me:
"I think you should see the child for as long as possible as often as possible in order to build up and maintain the bond between you".
Very true and very important for both parent and child.

Hope that helps somewhat, my baby girl and I get on brilliantly, she was about the same age when myself and my ex broke up and she is very happy. Good Luck.

Orion

This is probably more of a legal issues thread than a parenting one. As for access there doesn't seem to be any pattern to what's granted if it's contested. TBH the court could well give you less - father's have shag all rights in Irish law. You don't say if you are/were married or not. That could have a bearing. If you are/were then custody is likely to be better. If not, then unless you have a guardianship declaration notarised and lodged, you are entitled to nothing in law - you would only get whatever the judge decided. If you have a guardianship declaration then you should be treated the same as a married father but again it's dependant on what judge you get and how they rule.

I suggest negotiating with the mother a bit more - but then again I don't know the circumstances - maybe that's not an option for you.

Deliverance

Just to the point the OP onto the legal guardianship issue there is a thread titled legal guardianship which was really helpfull to myself close to this one, worth reading through, I received good advice on this thread.

The previous poster is right about the marriage issue, a married man has guardianship automatically and unmarried means the father has to apply for it, 70% success rate on application if the mother disagrees. Still tricky though on a personal basis possibly, I think the prementioned thread may help somewhat on that basis.

K-9

Deliverance wrote:

Just to the point the OP onto the legal guardianship issue there is a thread titled legal guardianship which was really helpfull to myself close to this one, worth reading through, I received good advice on this thread.

The previous poster is right about the marriage issue, a married man has guardianship automatically and unmarried means the father has to apply for it, 70% success rate on application if the mother disagrees. Still tricky though on a personal basis possibly, I think the prementioned thread may help somewhat on that basis.

There was a good thread about 6 weeks ago to on it. We where trying to argue that guardianship should be an automatic right for a father. The courts should be used as a deterrent/punishment if a father doesn't desrve those rights, but well thats nother thread.

Treoir have wanted a guardianship register for the last 10 years but the attitude of the Govt. is it's not worth the bother/expense.

Nevyn

If you have not had the much acess to your child who is currently an infant it could be that the mother is concerned that you may not be able to look after her for a prolonged length of time.

I am not saying those fears are grounded #
I am not saying that mother's are better at looking after infants then fathers but there is a learning curve.

It could be that if you took the time to speak to her about your baby's routine ( which needs to be kept for the sake of the child ) and asked about
tips and tricks about bathing her ectra or if you were on amivible terms enough to spend time with the mother to learn how best to cater for your daughters needs this may go a long way to show to her that you are instreted in caring for your little girl in the best way and buit her mother's mind more at ease.

Every mother worries when they are very small about how they are when they are not with little one and working with her on those issues may really help. If the mother is confident that you can deal with what ever pops up on an over night with your infant daughter you may get more acess.

Ph3n0m

Wondering wrote:

Can anyone suggest what access a court would award to a father of a ten month baby. The mother is suggesting four hours on a saturday and one to two hours twice weekdays and that we sort it outside court which i have applied for.

Maybe sombody in a similar situation reciently?

Thanks

Outside of court - I would seriously advise against doing. What happens if you and her fight, she can easily refuse you access to the child - because it was nothing more then a verbal agreement.

In my case, years ago, I brought her to family court, but only after I had persuaded her that it was better for her to do so. In reality it was to protect my own ass so that I could see my daughter no matter what the situation was between her mother and myself.