Would you go

LegacyUser

Howdy all,

This is trivial compared to other peoples problems but need to get it off my chest.

My guy has a staff night out tonight, i was in his work place lately and one of the girls there said i should go along but i'm not sure if he wants me to.
I only moved here recently so I don't really know anyone and this girl knows that so maybe shes trying to be nice.

But im not sure he wants me to go, he didnt ask me and when i mentioned it he didnt seem to encouraging kind of brushed me off.
Im not sure whether to or not, should i just leave him off or go for a little while and come home early leaving him there (i have work in the morning so good excuse). Guys surely some of ye have some kind of input, if you were in this situation would you want your gf tagging along? Would I be imposing?

Nevyn

IF he has not invited you then why would you go ?
Why have you not spoken to him about it ?

Sangre

Don't go unless he specifically asks you to go.

Seems pretty straight-forward to me.

Cancer-chick

Thaedydal right OP .. If he has not invited you why go ?

i would be more worried about his reaction when u mentioned it .. I certainly wouldnt bring my partner to work nites but i wouldnt wanna go on his either unless it was xmas party so it works for us .. but if he was very non committal id prob be worried a bit and ask him does he want me to go .. straight up.

BoozyBabe

No, I don't think I'd go.
He hasn't invited you.

It's a WORK do, & you don't work there, so I'd leave him to it.

If that girl was being very friendly as she knows you're new to the area, then perhaps arrange another night to to out with her & a group of others (perhaps his work colleagues), on an unofficial work do.

Trinity

Absolutely not unless HE specifically invited me.

melekalikimaka

but why would he not invite you??? the only reason i wouldnt would be due to other work mates unimpressed by the outsider malarky, but since the work mates are making the effort i'd be happy to...unless somethings up relationship wise...


just my 2cent and usually i'm wrong

Trinity

melekalikimaka wrote:

but why would he not invite you??? the only reason i wouldnt would be due to other work mates unimpressed by the outsider malarky, but since the work mates are making the effort i'd be happy to...unless somethings up relationship wise...


just my 2cent and usually i'm wrong

Not necessarily he probably just doesnt want to be the only one there that drags his partner along.

Some nights are specifically set aside for these where its bring your other half.

I asked my bf there a few weeks ago why i wasnt invited to his work night out as my sister thought i should have been as i had never met them and i am expecting his baby!! (it honestly hadnt entered my head about going or being invited) and above is what he said. Apart from the fact that it was a work night and i didnt work there

Admittedly i was a bit put out at first as he ended up bringing his mate (cos he worked there for a week about 6 years ago) and was gonna start a thread ah but sure let him at it is what i say. I wouldnt bring him to a work nite unless others were also bringing partners. I wouldnt like it to seem like i couldnt go anywhere without him!!

Marksie

melekalikimaka wrote:

but why would he not invite you??? the only reason i wouldnt would be due to other work mates unimpressed by the outsider malarky, but since the work mates are making the effort i'd be happy to...unless somethings up relationship wise...


just my 2cent and usually i'm wrong

No. Sometimes if our place is having and unofficial works do, they don't like partners being along. Mainly because they want to get completely sh*tfaced.

I wouldn't go unless specifically asked, but it wouldnt bother me to let them go either.

Artmustang

If he did not ask you to go then drop off the idea. You surely don't wanna be branded gate-crusher, do ya?;)

kmick

Here is my cunning plan. The night before your partners night out casually mention you want to go for a few drinks. Then after about three pints say you would like to go clubbing. Most men crumble after about three or four pints so you should be fine . Then after the nightclub (you keep reasonably sober) take him home and show him the time of his life until 6am. Then force him to get up for work the next day . He will be so tired he will hardly be able to keep his eyes open the next evening. Problem solved.

LegacyUser

Yeh I'm sure ye are right, we often go drinking where he works so i have kind of gotten to know the staff a bit and it was just i was asked so i thought he'd be grand with me going but i just get the feelin he doesnt want me to. And I havent said it again to him in case he feels he has to take me instead of wanting to take me.

And its more of an informal nite out, its a leaving party and iths more than the staff going, some of the regulars are going along to as well as a few other partners. I should have really mentioned that before sorry

AnonoBoy

Work nights can be pretty **** anyway. Maybe he's trying to save you the boredom.

Don't go - if he was very non-commital about it when you brought it then he doesn't really want you there but at the same time he doesn't want to seem like he's forbidding you from coming.

You'll find that most people don't bring their partners on normal work nights out unless it's officially a 'bring your other half' type of affair.

Skip it and take advantage of some alone time.

BeardyGit

I refuse to go to work nights out when people insist on bringing their partners. I don't work with them, so they shouldn't be there - That's my take on it. Outside of work, I'll pick and choose who I spend my time with. A bunch of practical strangers sitting there is just a pain in the arse for the night, and usually puts a damper on things.

And I'm not alone - half the team opt out when partners are brought along by the others. Team/Work nights out are just that - Not a general social gathering with every man and his dog (if you'll pardon the pun). It's a chance to relax and iron out the stresses that build up working with each other, not a chance to make new friends....

King of Kings

Gil_Dub wrote:

I refuse to go to work nights out when people insist on bringing their partners. I don't work with them, so they shouldn't be there - That's my take on it. Outside of work, I'll pick and choose who I spend my time with. A bunch of practical strangers sitting there is just a pain in the arse for the night, and usually puts a damper on things.
.

you sound like a barrel of fun!

Boston

melekalikimaka wrote:

but why would he not invite you??? the only reason i wouldnt would be due to other work mates unimpressed by the outsider malarky, but since the work mates are making the effort i'd be happy to...unless somethings up relationship wise...


just my 2cent and usually i'm wrong

Talk about brutal advice. Some people like to keep their personal and private life as separate as possible, simple as.

BeardyGit

King of Kings wrote:

you sound like a barrel of fun!

You sound like a barrel of clichés.

What's the problem here with people thinking it's okay to shadow their partner to a work do? I wouldn't have it....