Over-reacting?

LegacyUser

Ok, so basically I think my parents are really overreacting in this situation.
I usually have a lock on my bedroom door, main reason is it's a big family and I like my privacy. But one of the few days I leave it open my Dad wanders in (looking for socks apparently) and manages a pack of condoms, which weren't in plain view so he had to be searching ...

Big enough arguement follows and now I'm in the sh1t. I made the point it'd be worse if I was having un-protected sex ... but that just made it worse.

I'm 18 - well above age of consent - been with my gf for nearly 8months, who's also 18, and we both took our time before deciding to start.

Opinions? Or are they right?

Beruthiel

unreg .. wrote:

Big enough arguement follows and now I'm in the sh1t. I made the point it'd be worse if I was having un-protected sex ... but that just made it worse.

It would appear that they have buried their heads in the sand.
When my daughter started going out with her b/f at 17 I made sure she was taking contraceptives before having sex, I also made sure she was well educated on the subject. To do anything other than that is just silliness.
I presume that your g/f is also on the pill? The chances of her getting pregnant are higher if she's not so make sure that you are doing all the right things in order to be responsible.
There's not much you can do with regards to your parents if they are dead against this, so I don't have much advice with regards to them I'm afraid.

dr.bollocko

Your parents are only human too, and frequently make mistakes / over-react and do silly silly things. That is just a small part of the reason why they are great. They ARE being a bit silly, but remember, silly because they love you, not silly because they hate you.
It is often the parents' role in this situation to totally over-react for a while as they come to terms with their little darling doing naughty adult things.
Its funny, but I bet that the fact that they found contraception means that they think there's a chance you are going to get this girl pregnant or "in trouble" as they may well refer to it.
You can expect a series of speeches telling you how much it will cost to have a baby, how much it will ruin your life, etc. until they deal with it in their own way, calm down, and suddenly get very embarassed about knocking on your door from now on...

NutJob

A long time ago now but i remember having to sit both my parents down and have a chat with them about it. I simply said the fact that you found condoms proved that i was at least being responsible.

After a long drawn out chat things calmed down and i put them at ease.

Talk to them calmly its just a big shock to there system as allot of parents don't think there kids ever grow up.

Couple of questions.
What age are your parents? Are they very religous?
Was the argument about doing it "under their roof" ?

Any parent with a half an ounce of common sense should know how easy and within your budget condoms are and ergo the row was pointless.

Don't fret about it because at least you are being the responsible one.

If it's any consolation my mum found condoms in my brothers coat pocket and there was uproar-he was 26 at the time and didn't live at home :rolleyes:

You are in that pseudo period where you are an adult but your parents are still to be listened to as they are needed( for accomadation/college fee's etc )
You'll have to be diplomatic with them on this for another year or four yet if you think you won't get through to them on this subject.It's not worth falling out over.

Artmustang

Don't mind their rants for a while. Let them have their say and never say anything. Pretty soon they'd come to realize you've grown and they's respect your decision. You'd come to know their feelings when you've got children of your own too.;)

Le Rack

Let them rant, they're being way over the top, my mam gave me condoms when I was 17, I freaked at the time, but really thought it was quite funny! She didn't tell my da though and he still doesn't know, as he'd have freaked.

Parents are like that, they don't know how to react to something so they blow it waay out of proportion, they'll calm down and realise how ridiculous they're being, really, would they prefer if you were having unprotected sex with every girl you encounter?! It'll be fine!

GrumPy

Yep, they are over reacting. Tis none of their business tbh.

Talliesin

Not over-reacting. They're mis-reacting.

Nightwish

The exact same thing happened with my ex, when I was with him. His mother found condoms. We weren't doing it in their house, and I never stayed over, but both his parents hit the roof. They were very religious and I was banned from their house for a while. They had to get over it when we moved in with each other. My advice is, let them stew - they are the ones being childish. You are being responsible by using contraceptives.

deisemum

Even though you're 18 and live at home I think they were out of order to search through your stuff in the first place and I think the excuse of looking for socks was just an excuse.

I wouldn't be surprised if they were curious and suspicious as to what you may have hidden in your room since you normally have it locked and then when they saw it wasn't your dad couldn't resist a snoop.

You're certainly old enough to have your privacy respected.

I'm a mother and I'd like to think that when my preteens are a bit older that I would respect their right to privacy unless there were strong indications of them using drugs