positivety has me broke

eh...juslookinl

Ok I have a major problem....I am absouletely skint and its all my own doing.I have all these sayings about you only live once and the usual cliches and i think thats were the problem lies because I do actually believe in these sayings and I try to make the most of everyday but doing that in ireland is a very expensive thing. For example im after going out every night since thursday and spending all my wages...but when I do try to stay in I do feel it is such a waste of what valuable little precious time we have on earth.I have a good full time job but i have nothing practical to show for it, I dont drive I still live at home(im 25!)and am in debt..... So does anybody have any advice as in how to be able to learn how to control what Im doing.Im a very positive person and tht could also b part of my problem but I want to keep it that way....and i dont want to combat that with negativity.Hope use understand and could possibly help.thanks

Fanny Cradock

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Why not write down what you spend in a week so as to give yourself an idea of where you are throwing your money down away. It will probably be an eye-opener.

Dave

When you say going out, do you mean getting blind drunk with your mates, or do you mean, going out to the cinema, theatre, dinner, or non getting pissed activities?

oleras

get a job that pays you more, enjoy life by all means but dont live beyond those means...........

JC 2K3

money != happiness

eh...juslookinl

eh...juslookinl wrote:

Ok I have a major problem....I am absouletely skint and its all my own doing.I have all these sayings about you only live once and the usual cliches and i think thats were the problem lies because I do actually believe in these sayings and I try to make the most of everyday but doing that in ireland is a very expensive thing. For example im after going out every night since thursday and spending all my wages...but when I do try to stay in I do feel it is such a waste of what valuable little precious time we have on earth.I have a good full time job but i have nothing practical to show for it, I dont drive I still live at home(im 25!)and am in debt..... So does anybody have any advice as in how to be able to learn how to control what Im doing.Im a very positive person and tht could also b part of my problem but I want to keep it that way....and i dont want to combat that with negativity.Hope use understand and could possibly help.thanks

What does going out every night mean? Getting blind drunk in a pub? Because that's not "making the most" of your life, it's getting stupidly drunk and throwing your money away.
If going out doesnt mean getting drunk, what is it you do?

Plastic Scouser

1. I'd second the idea about writing down where all your money is going.

This will help you to decide whether you really want to spend that amount of money on each activity i.e. if after writing it down you can see that you spend 30% of your income on drinking/new shoes/books whatever, then from that educated position you can decide if you want to carry on this way, or reduce your spending in this area.

2. Come up with a budget....and stick to it!

Decide you're only going to spend [€X] on [activity] tomorrow/Friday/this week, and stick to it. Take the money with you to the shop/pub and don't be tempted to spend any more than you've budgeted.

3. Use Cash - Not Cards!!!

You realise just how much you're spending when you have to hand over real-life hard-earned dosh!

4. Stating the obvious here but... spending less doesn't have to mean staying home every night!

Find cheaper ways of socialising. Go to cheaper bars etc. Have your mates around to your place (or one of theirs) instead of going out. Pick cheap hobbies.

Just because something costs less doesn't mean you're not 'living life to the full'!

5. Set some goals.

For example, paying off your debts in 6 months, or saving for a car/computer/holiday - it might help you to have something to work towards.

6. And finally.....

Saving money/reigning in your spending, is not something that everyone will find easy. It might take a bit of planning, a bit of sacrifice on your part, and a lot of willpower....but if you plan to do it, and stick to your guns, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to change things.



Good luck.

Talliesin

eh...juslookinl wrote:

I have all these sayings about you only live once and the usual cliches and i think thats were the problem lies because I do actually believe in these sayings and I try to make the most of everyday but doing that in ireland is a very expensive thing.

Find something worthwhile to do instead of going out every night.

You only live once. Think about what that really means. Is going out every night something you could look back on with a sense of pride when you're 80?

rediguana

I'm kind of the same as the OP. Except for "nights out" substitute "trips abroad". I haven't lived at home since I was seventeen though. Maybe I should've - I would've been some E43,000 (approximate monies paid in rent) richer by now if I had.

kraggy

Set up a savings account that you can't touch for a specified minimum period.

Have the money come out on pay day so you don't see it.

The bank will be glad to facilitate you.

K.

ChRoMe

I've never understood the amount of people who seem to have such difficulty understanding money.

Anyway I find system of not spending more than I earn and allways make sure that rent and food are taken care of.

Or dont have champgane tastes on a lemonade income.

Clarehobo

kraggy wrote:

Set up a savings account that you can't touch for a specified minimum period.

Have the money come out on pay day so you don't see it.

The bank will be glad to facilitate you.

K.

Sound advice there.

Either put it into a credit union account where it's too much hassle to access it or put it into a savings account that you don't have a card for.
Then when you get paid set yourself a weekly budget, move everything into your savings except your money for week. If you don't have it, you won't spend it.

Am extremely in the red due to just getting back from travelling but a good wage helps me chip away at it bit by bit. Still enjoy myself, but have limited the amount of jagerbombs I'm allowed in a weekend;)

p.s. cut up any credit cards, they are the work of the devil I tell you! Mine's going after this month...:rolleyes:

Marksie

Maybe I am reading this wrong, but you equate positivity with going out and spending all the time and negativity with sitting in and "wasting" time.

I would say that that is not positivity but a requirement to have constant activity and a low boredom threshold.

Positivity is about outlook and opening to different experiences, some of which cost nothing at all!

However, if you merely want to look at a way to make the money go furher, then have a lok at some of the really high interest accounts that allow you to save money on a monthly basis, be aware that most banks give interest rates belowe inflation.

CiaranC

An excellent piece on the matter from Hunter S Thompson:

http://www.ram.org/contrib/security.html

Better broke & happy than rich & solitary I say.

Cancer-chick

CiaranC's post made me cry .. V profound and i would think it would make sense to most ..

At the end of the day you need money to live and live well.. and from personal experience , some savings in the bank for an emergency are always handy ..
But money will never make you happy .. rich yes, happy no.
Ideally we would all be rich, and have secured personal happiness by following our own dreams .. Unfortunately life can get in the way of that !

Start saving, maybe take a trip somewhere .. As mod said .. When you 80 will you really regard being out every night as 'living' .. I wouldnt

Talliesin

CiaranC wrote:

An excellent piece on the matter from Hunter S Thompson:

http://www.ram.org/contrib/security.html

Yes, but the OPs problem is that he thinks he's seizing the day, when he's really just doing the same old thing, and then blaming the fact that his same old thing is expensive on his seizing the day!

leeroybrown

I agree with marksuttonie. The OP appears to have a problem where they equate going out spending loads of money on alcohol with having a positive attitude towards life, and worse still thinking that anything that doesn't involve spending money on alcohol as being negative.

I was out on Thursday night, had a few drinks on Friday evening and went back to some friends place on Friday night and spent Saturday and Sunday watching some sport, getting some exercise, fresh air, food, and relaxing with friends. I thought that that was a very positive way to spend my weekend and it didn't cost me the earth.

CiaranC

Talliesin wrote:

Yes, but the OPs problem is that he thinks he's seizing the day, when he's really just doing the same old thing, and then blaming the fact that his same old thing is expensive on his seizing the day!

'Mid barroom & tavern I find hope among the souls who gather - Craig Finn

Theres nothing wrong with spending lots of time with people who stimulate & interest you on the social scene in one of the worlds liveliest towns. The guy is twenty five years old! When did enjoying the pub culture turn into a social faux pas? This new puritanicalism sweeping the nation is getting old fast.

Give me debauchery & depravity and hang the expense I say.

BoozyBabe

Are you trying to say that going on the p!ss from Thur is living life to the full???

I'd have thought of that as being the very opposite!!!!
But, each to their own I guess.

I thought when I started to read the thread that you were going to say you spend all you money parachute jumping, hang gliding, flying a plane, swimming with dolphins, mountain climbing, white water rafting etc, not sitting for hours on end in a pub!!!!!

Kell

eh...juslookinl wrote:

and i dont want to combat that with negativity.

*You dont have to. Think of things you used to do that didnt cost you a fortune and you really enjoyed immersing yourself in and start doing them again.

I presume you are the sort who also always buys the first round and will more than likely buy a few rounds of shots because you are having a great time? Cut that shít out. Believe me.

You will also probably find that unless your friends are as fiscally balanced as you are, no one buys the same amount of rounds and you will find yourself at the bar more than anyone else. Cut that shít out too. If you find that you are indeed buying more rounds than anyone else, let people buy their own or stick with buying your own drinks and anyone that cant afford to keep up with you buying rounds, let them fend for themselves. If you stick to buying your own drinks, you can have quite a happy night on about €30.00 as opposed to €120.00 and still be as thrashed as you would be spending €120.00.

Enjoy.

K-

*The singular grain of wisdom that my dad has ever spoken to me

CiaranC

BoozyBabe wrote:

Are you trying to say that going on the p!ss from Thur is living life to the full???

I'd have thought of that as being the very opposite!!!!
But, each to their own I guess.

I thought when I started to read the thread that you were going to say you spend all you money parachute jumping, hang gliding...

I tried hang gliding, but I kept spilling my pint

Sam Vimes

Fanny Cradock wrote:

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Why not write down what you spend in a week so as to give yourself an idea of where you are throwing your money down away. It will probably be an eye-opener.

probably easier to just hang onto receipts

Sam Vimes

JC 2K3 wrote:

money != happiness

but at least you can be miserable in comfort

CiaranC

CiaranC wrote:

'Mid barroom & tavern I find hope among the souls who gather - Craig Finn

Theres nothing wrong with spending lots of time with people who stimulate & interest you on the social scene in one of the worlds liveliest towns. The guy is twenty five years old! When did enjoying the pub culture turn into a social faux pas? This new puritanicalism sweeping the nation is getting old fast.

Give me debauchery & depravity and hang the expense I say.

That's fine for you but since he's making a thread saying the expense is too much, that kind of attitude isn't helpful.
"Social scene" and "enjoying the pub culture"? Please :rolleyes:
You can try and dress it up, but lets face it, if he's going out every single night and spending so much that he's completely broke despite living at home, there is a problem.

Marksie

Cancer-chick wrote:

CiaranC's post made me cry ..

it made me cry too, but not for those reasons.

I am a big believer in fulfilling ones self potential, being in the now and connecting with who one is.

I am also a realist.

Sentiments on security are fine written down in books where the author is making a nice little royalty check, on cards and on pretty little posters. They may be something to aspire too.

But not everyone is Reginald Perrin.

It is all about balance and focus. If you see a need in yourself, find out what it is, what you need to do to get there and how to maintain the balance between providing for those needs and meeting those needs.

Marksie

CiaranC wrote:

Theres nothing wrong with spending lots of time with people who stimulate & interest you on the social scene in one of the worlds liveliest towns. .

Thank you for the bord failte advertisement.
But what variety is there in the same scene? and as the OP has already found out it is expensive.

CiaranC wrote:

The guy is twenty five years old! When did enjoying the pub culture turn into a social faux pas? This new puritanicalism sweeping the nation is getting old fast..

Wrong crowd to be calling puritanical. This is beyond enjoying the pub culture, but someone seeing the need to go out thurs-sun in the aforesaid scene as being a positive trait.

CiaranC wrote:

Give me debauchery & depravity and hang the expense I say.

Uh-Huh... .

Minder

Avoid credit card debt like the plague. Any variable interest rate debt will crucify you. Compare creditcard rates with loan rates. Borrow low rate loans to clear cc debts and don't use them again.

A simple spreadsheet of earnings vs costs/spending will clearly show where you are haemorrhaging money. Take control of your money - the banks love a sucker.

NutJob

marksuttonie wrote:

Sentiments on security are fine written down in books where the author is making a nice little royalty check, on cards and on pretty little posters. They may be something to aspire too.

Dr. Thompson lived what he preached. One of his favourite pass times was shooting at the postman.


You seem to already know where your moneys going either change your lifestyle or stay where you are it is exactly that simple.

As one poster suggested start with a spending diary and work from there.

Talliesin

CiaranC wrote:

The guy is twenty five years old! When did enjoying the pub culture turn into a social faux pas? This new puritanicalism sweeping the nation is getting old fast.

This is someone who, by his own words, is trying to live life to the full. And yet he's doing the same damn thing every other night.

CiaranC wrote:

Give me debauchery & depravity and hang the expense I say.

Sorry, where are these pubs where I can eat bloc de foie gras avec morceaux of a naked person's body?

Pubs are hardly seedbeds of debauchery and depravity. Even when you find a club with an easy-going proprietor laws around nudity in a licensed premises and the club's concern about it's carpets mean you can't do much.

And really. Even that's hardly living it up, is it? I'm going to be in a 4-star hotel enjoying 5-course meals and wine that's actually drinkable this weekend. The OP will probably be down the pub with a pint of what they call beer in Irish pubs. He apparently has a lot of disposable income. He should be living it up much more than me.

And that's just when it comes to entertainment. Really living life to the full covers much more than that.

CiaranC

So whats your point exactly? You are going to a 4 star hotel. Great.

If the OP enjoys what he is doing, then he shouldnt worry about the costs involved. Short of avoiding serious debt, you shouldnt let mere economics hold you back from having fun.

Plenty of time for chasing after money like seems to be the done thing these days.

Talliesin

CiaranC wrote:

If the OP enjoys what he is doing, then he shouldnt worry about the costs involved.

If that's what he wants, then sure.

We're talking about the OP here, who said "I do actually believe in these sayings and I try to make the most of everyday".

He's failing desperately at doing that, so it's a problem. If he'd said "I don't want much out of life, I'm happy with a comfortable routine", then he'd just have a bit of a financial problem, but that's not what he's said he wants.

Jo King

A quote from Wilkins Micawber in Dickens "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."
As true now as then.

Cancer-chick

I am a big believer in fulfilling ones self potential, being in the now and connecting with who one is.
I am also a realist.

Mark , no offence or anything, But when people talk about 'being in the now' .. i always want to ask .. which self help book were we reading today love ??
.. and 'connecting with who one is' .. Hunter S Thompson was a man who chose his own very distinct path which is something i personally admire .. no flowery words or self help mantras

so each to their own eh

Marksie

Cancer-chick wrote:

Mark , no offence or anything, But when people talk about 'being in the now' .. i always want to ask .. which self help book were we reading today love ??

No offence taken.
and it depends on your definition of self help.

Mine is drawn from Tantra

Cancer-chick wrote:

.. and 'connecting with who one is' .. Hunter S Thompson was a man who chose his own very distinct path which is something i personally admire ..

In fact my post wasn't aimed at Thompson specifically (though to be honest where a distinct path involves takin potshots at postmen..if such is true, then it wouldn't be for me). But cautioning that it is one thing to be told to fulfill your aims regardless or become a drone, but do so within your means at any given time and cognizant of the impact you may have on others around you.

Cancer-chick wrote:

.. no flowery words or self help mantras

I quite agree. I tend to be practical in outlook.

Cancer-chick wrote:

so each to their own eh

Absolutely.

OP: As Talliesin pointed out he is going to enjoy a four star hotel and fine food.
Since I have mentioned Tantra above, i am planning to be off on a weekend workshop and a stay in a hotel, which would probably cost about the same as a weekend drinking in the pub.

Cancer-chick

OP it's all about balance .. most of the self help 'gurus' will all say that in some form... I am not saying take a yoga class and certainly i would not give up your social life but i think if you also did other sociable things like join a group, (sporting or otherwise) that may give you a different perspective on your life in general and maybe quiet the inner discord ! Basically the pub is a great laugh but is not going to make you feel joyful about life .. Id have a look for something that will .. And sure it's all about the journey

LegacyUser

hi OP
i'm your complete opposite moneywise perhaps. i've been on the dole for a year, renting in dublin and going out to bars and parties between 2 to 4 nights a week the whole time. in this time i've managed to save about 2,000 euro from my weekly dole payments. the dole is 207 a week incl. fuel allowance, i'm not getting rent allowance as my landlord is sketchy, so i pay rent of 360 a month.

so how do i manage to live this perfect lifestyle? well, since i'm not working, i'm not wasting money all the time buying rolls and coffee for lunch and things, or spending loads on buses or cars to get to work. i'm always pretty shocked that people happily spend up to 10 euro a day just for food and transport to work and college.

second thing is, all my friends are on similar low incomes. everyone cycles everywhere, everyone knows the value of money. theres never any pressure to go to expencive restaurants or pubs to meet up - u go over for dinner, or a few cans, or a dvd, or go to a bar or gig but be sensible about how many drinks you buy (see drinking before hand, and naggin in the handbag if you're a girl, or down the crotch if you're a guy)

third important thing is: i don't spend much money on clothes. **** that ****, all you need is the basics - decent jeans that'll last a few years, some plain tshirts, a few jumpers and hoodies, and a jacket - this goes for girls too, i'm a girl, this is actually all you need. fashion is for saps anyways, if you buy stuff you genuinely like, it will flatter you and suit you and you'll like it for years. guys will like you just fine in some simple clothes without spending 50 euro a week in pennys and topshop buying crap you'll throw out in 6 months. maybe you have to be somewhat attractive to pull this off, but the most attractive thing is looking cool and sound, and someone who isn't wearing something they just bought looks a lot cooler and sounder than someone who has. i REALLY think this about guys - designer shirts, mad aftershave and expencive haircuts = UGH!

thats another thing: haircuts - its not hard to cut your own hair. people who cut their own hair generally look **** cool and totally confident. girls and boys. if you can't handle it all yourself, invite a friend over and have her/him help.

i guess if you work you need to buy work clothes, but unless your work is your life, i wouldn't waste money here either. i'd buy enough to be acceptable, and spend the rest of my money on stuff that will make me happy and thus a better employee...

so anyway, i don't know what you're spending money on. but thats pretty much all i spend money on. i use my savings every now and then to buy big stuff i need like mp3 players or cameras and whatever, but i never drain my savings.

so, its totally possible to live good and save money, you just need to cop on about unnessesary things like expencive clothes or stupid convienience food that aren't really going to help you live life to the full.

Victor

I think you might exaggerate.

cousin_borat

Cancer-chick wrote:

.. and 'connecting with who one is' .. Hunter S Thompson was a man who chose his own very distinct path which is something i personally admire .. no flowery words or self help mantras
so each to their own eh

Whereas Hunter S Thompson was one of the most talented and imaginative writers in modern popular culture. Plebs who get pissed in Dublin Thursday to Sunday or do a few lines dosen't really compare as choosing your "own very distint path" sorry

Victor

watuthinkinlady wrote:

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If you want to abuse someone, at least have the decency and courage of your convictions to do it from your own account.