Remember?

lilmissprincess

Dear Daniel,

Do you remember the first time we met? I was just turned fifteen, you were nearly 17. You had dark hair then, its grown lighter since. You bought me a cup of coffee as we walked into the cafe out of the cold, and you asked me out an hour later.

Do you remember the first time we kissed? Magical memories? Your skin against mine, your hands brushing against my hair.

Do you remember the first time you introduced me to your friends? They laughed at me becasue I tripped over a cable. I laughed stariaght back at them, and we all became friends.

Do you remember our first big fight? It was over something stupid, how you'd "ignored" me on Saturday, when in fact you hadn't seen me in the crowded town. I cried to my friends, but we made up a few hours later, with hugs and kisses.

Do you remember our three month anniversary when you told me you loved me and you never wanted to let me go? I ran excited to all my friends, so happy, so glad I had met someone who felt exactly the same way as me. Love...it made me so damn happy...

Do you remember the day that i got cornered by that guy in the middle of town? I was so scared, I called you and you came over and beat the crap out of him....You held me close to you as I sobbed and told me you'd always be there to look out for me.

Do you remember the Sunday we went walking up that mountain in Waterford and got lost? We didn't care. We were alone with each other. The girls were so excited when i told them, all ooh-ing and aah-ing, not believing i was still innocent. Hahaha. I so was.

I hope you remember these things. Because, I don't. I don't remember who you are. I can't remember anything before the bang.

I'm sorry.

Robbiethe3rd

Lovely!

Who's Daniel?

lilmissprincess

Its a fiction, its to nobody...lol...its a letter to every guy...put into a letter written by a girl who had an accident and can't remember anything.

Being honest? It's a bit flawed throughout.

She's writing about all of these memories, very vividly, and then suddenly she's got amnesia.

Robbiethe3rd

Ye look, in my own opinion thats really pros, not poetry and Im not mad on people taking something and calling it poetry for its own sake.
Also, I do think that even poetry should make sense! With no disrespect, I dont think this poem really does and the twist of an accident just isnt that clever; I think you can work on this poem but dont try to give it a twist, make it constant throughout that you dont remember or something like that

It had never been stated that it was a poem though..

smcgiff

Yip, boney is right. Seems there's a paradox - and until that's fixed it doesn't work. All the same it's good to see something other than poetry *ducks*

LOL at Robbie!

Robbiethe3rd

Alright, alright! Nice letter so!

smcgiff

Robbiethe3rd wrote:

Alright, alright! Nice letter so!

Ah well, you were writing late!

Absolute Bender

How she remember his name is she has amnesia???

The end is kinda sudden and silly, maybe you should have put more work into it, and have her confused throughout.

lilmissprincess

She's just been in an accident and she can't remember anything. These are the snippets her friends have told her to try to get her to remember anything, but she can't, this is all she knows....she hopes he can remember this so that she might...

Jonesy3110

Im sorry I thought this was stupid.. "Do you remember, do you remember eh.. cos I don't" If it was written better you wouldn't have to explain it. You say these are "snippets" told to her by friends, but they don't sound like that.