I Think I'm A Little Lost

Motley Crue

I turn 22 tomorrow, and while I'm not exactly feeling like an underachiever in life...I feel that there's one issue I could have handled better up until now. My mother is 50 this weekend, and she's holding a big party tomorrow night (which im not overly concerned with because I've never had the most active social life and she's only 50 once so I had no problem with the dates clashing). Anywho, the problem is as follows, my mother asked me if I wanted to invite someone to her 50th. And I taught, that would be nice, but suddenly I realised I had no one to invite. Thinking this was a mistake, I went through my phonebook, and every 'contact' on my mobile is either a college associate or a former/present workmate. If there not there for that reason then they live abroad. There doesnt seem to be one person that I could think of inviting. I'm Irish, I've lived my whole life here, I've went through School and lived in the same area for the past 11 years and I havent got a single real friend, I havent got a person to call when I want to go out for a quiet drink, or to a comedy club or just to hang around with and talk.

The stranger thing is, I have a girlfriend, but since she moved to Scotland for Uni (and I love her to pieces) its just been a natural acceptance that if I want to continue this relationship it can only under the understanding that we wont be there for each other every weekend and every time the other wants to go out. I only met my girlfriend 2 years ago and before that life was the same as it is now, and I'm just desperate lonely and I genuinely feel suicidal, especially with my birthday tomorrow now and everything.

I respect that people will tell me to see someone or talk to someone, but I've done that in the past and that just makes things worse, the only reason I'm posting here is because I still hold out for a miracle. Is it really such a struggle to have one good friend in this world, one actual friend.

At 22 its such an arkward age to join clubs, to go on certain things, most of the societys in college never seem interesting at the beginning of the year and those that I join collapse within a couple of weeks because people lose interest. Ive never been the most athletic young man so thats prob why Ive never been able to join GAA/Rugby team etc

Anywaiz, maybe someone can tell me if im the only one in this situation?

garthv

At 22 its such an arkward age to join clubs, to go on certain things, most of the societys in college never seem interesting at the beginning of the year and those that I join collapse within a couple of weeks because people lose interest. Ive never been the most athletic young man so thats prob why Ive never been able to join GAA/Rugby team etc

Wrong attitude to have mate...
It might seem like a lost cause at the moment but its not. Get yourself out there and make some friends then things will start looking better.

Kimbot

Dude I'm 24 and near enough the same spot as yourself!!

I have my other half etc!! About to uproot everything and move down the sticks with her and all!!
I don't have anyone I can call to head out for a drink with or anything and I prefer it that way TBH!! I got messed about alot by supposed friends!!
Don't be worrying about it as alot of people have this "problem".

r3nu4l

Actually at your age I was pretty much in that situation! All of my friends from my undergrad had moved on and I had broken up with a long-term girlfriend. Then I realised I had no friends anymore! It was a shock to be honest.

I know some people will slate me for this but I'm going to say it anyway...join a club.

Okay, not just any old club. It doesn't have to be sport either! I'm interested in Creative Writing, so I joined a writing group and made some friends there. If there is something that you are interested in doing at college but there is no club set up, why not advertise that you are going to set one up? What are your interests? Play to them.

Once you've settled into a club or group of some sort you can suggest that people meet up some time for a drink, maybe at the weekend. Maybe swap phone numbers with a few people.

Even today, I only have one long-term male buddy that I can talk with man-to-man and he lives back home in Ireland so I don't get to see him that often but I'm not too freaked about that.

Right now my life is extremely busy and things are looking up for once! Believe me, at 30 years of age I was very frustrated with life, having stayed with education and worked hard to get a PhD I was still renting, hadn't enough money etc. but I bought a house with Mrs. r3nu4l in December and am marrying her in July.

My point is that only you can change things and that at 22 it is far from too late to do that. It can be done! It might still be a good idea to talk with someone about how you feel but in the meantime get started by getting off your ass and looking for a group activity you might enjoy

NutJob

Im 24 iv moved three times in the past three years for various jobs. I found that as i settled into a place and made friends it was time to move again. It can be tough but you have to go out and meet people.

At 22 its such an arkward age to join clubs, to go on certain things, most of the societys in college never seem interesting at the beginning of the year and those that I join collapse within a couple of weeks because people lose interest. Ive never been the most athletic young man so thats prob why Ive never been able to join GAA/Rugby team etc

Not true GAA clubs are always looking for junior B players and fitness comes from just going and playing the game within a month or two you wont know the difference in yourself. Give it a shot if you have any interest in it. I also have a friend who swears by Salsa as a way to meet the ladies. I cant speak for rugby but theres no harm in asking around a club.

Get involved in any social event that comes your way and tickles your fancy. I tried tag rugby recently with work and has helped my social life no end and i assure you im no athlete.

Also you said you had friends in your phone book ring them say hello

EDIT:Ogh and there's boards events which are all about meeting people
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=153

snakybus

Motley Crue wrote:

I respect that people will tell me to see someone or talk to someone, but I've done that in the past and that just makes things worse, the only reason I'm posting here is because I still hold out for a miracle. Is it really such a struggle to have one good friend in this world, one actual friend.

I'll be your friend.

I have a large sum of money - in the region of hundreds of thousands - resting in an account in the bank of Nigeria. It is an inheritance I had the good fortune to receive from my long-lost dead aunt, who's name I cannot divulge for reasons of law (her name was Brian). Because I am at a loss with regard to how to install this money in a bank account, and because I am curtrently BETWEEN COUNTRIES (I am a prince), I would be most grateful and full of gratitude if you were to please install it in your account for a temporary time.

It is a no-risk low-risk operatiion, and for you, my good friend, you will get a 10% of the lodgment. Which would be millions. Milllllllyuns.

Wealth could be yours.

Want to meet for a pint?

Nevyn

snakybus banned.

Hal1

Thats 2 bannings Ive counted today and on a serious note 22 is not old you have time to turn things around with some positive thinking and stop feeling sorry for yourself Im 30 in a couple of days

zootroid

i wouldn't worry too much. it is all about getting out and making an effort to make friends. i had to move to the opposite end of the country for work, and took up hurling to meet people. it didn't matter that i was rubbish, people are just happy for new faces to join their club!