Worried someone in my class will kill themselves

runswithascript

Guy in my college course came in today half drunk and told me he's thinking about 'doing something' this week as in killing himself. He was serious, and I've noticed a general downward slope in his character. I tried to tell him he needs to stop drinking. He's there telling me how he's been missing college because of drinking to much and when I suggested to him he should stop he just said 'yeah, yeah'. Tried to motivate him by telling him how I've seen him achieve so much on the course and how it's nearly finished, don't know what else to do. We're not close but we're friendly enough and I don't want to see him do something I'll regret. I also don't think this is a drama thing, I think he generally means it.

I mean I could go in there tomorrow to find out he's dead, and we're off college for 2 weeks this Friday and God knows what he'll get up to alone for those two weeks.

What should I do?

LegacyUser

'Go to your facilty head. Tell him of situation. Tell him you are also informing the guards (in case he decides to sit on his arse). Suggest he rings the guys next of kin and gets the bugger hospitalised. The tell the same thing to the guards. Warn them that you have told both of them he said he was going to kill himself and that if they dont they will be negligent. Go home sleep soundly.'

Esel

Speak to the college counsellor tomorrow.

runswithascript

But then if the counsellor comes to him and.... then again it's better than him being dead.

Miss Fluff

Have you a number for any of his folks?

little lady

Telling someone that you are planning on killing yourself sounds like a plea for help. Do you have a college counsellor or college nurse\doctor that you could talk to? You need to tell someone who can help him.

If he’s not serious then there is no harm done, if he is serious then they can get him the help he really needs.

d-redser

dusf wrote:

But then if the counsellor comes to him and.... then again it's better than him being dead.

Let as many people know about this asap.

The course head/tutor
The head counsellor
The health centre/college doc
The chaplaincy
The guards

One student died on paddy's weekend which could of been stopped. He also told someone what he was going to do and went ahead. He was attending counselling too...

seamus

On a colder note, remember that knowing about someone's plans to commit suicide and failing to do anything about it is a criminal offence.

I would mention it to the faculty head, or a decent lecturer that you'd trust to do the right thing. If this guy isn't really a friend of yours (i.e. you don't involve yourself with him outside of college), then you're kind of limited. He's clearly got a number of issues, and I'd be surprised if he doesn't have a whole pile of other people worrying about him too.

Does he seem to have anyone in college that you'd consider a friend of his that you could get involved?

marathonic

Yeah you have to do something about it... a female friend of mine had the same issue this past two months where her 18 year old boyfriend was telling her that he was gonna kill himself... he kept ringing her up telling her he was going to do it... the last time he rang her was the Friday before mothers day and he told her he was standing on a chair about to jump... he actually did it this time and was buried on mothers day... at least if you tell a load of people as mentioned above, you won't have to go through what she's going through now..

38141

oh get him hospitalised and get him onto medication. And why don't you then lock him up in a dark room for the rest of his life.

These are the typical, useless reactions of people who don't understand what the problem is.

BoozyBabe

38141 wrote:

oh get him hospitalised and get him onto medication. And why don't you then lock him up in a dark room for the rest of his life.

These are the typical, useless reactions of people who don't understand what the problem is.

That may or may not be the case.

But what's your less useless advice to the OP?

Don't see you coming up with any better suggestions!!!:mad:

38141

Thats typical of the approach to mental health adopted by the general public.

Let me tell you now clearly: IT DOESN'T WORK in the long run.

The best approach is to listen, listen, listen. And don't start procrastinating or prescribing or dictating what course of action he should take. Listen and help them understand themselves and their situation. It is much more helpful to have someone patiently listen than to be sent to a hospital and/or put on medication.

b3t4

Op, your best course of action would be to speak with the college counsellor/nurse/doctor. These would be the best people to deal with this situation. Please do this as soon as possible.

Going to someone who isn't trained in this area could cause more trouble than good.

A.

rugbug86

op you need to be there for your friend - let him know he can talk to you, trust you, at any time of the day or the night.

gently suggest that he goes to get some help - be it the councillor, the doctor etc, and maybe you yourself talk to them to see if they can offer advice on how you can be of help to him.

like d-redser i also knew the student who died on paddys day - you need to try help your friend.

little lady

38141 wrote:

The best approach is to listen, listen, listen. And don't start procrastinating or prescribing or dictating what course of action he should take. Listen and help them understand themselves and their situation. It is much more helpful to have someone patiently listen than to be sent to a hospital and/or put on medication.

Not everyone has suggested having the guy hospitalised, put on medication or locked away, what we are suggesting is that the poster let someone who can help his class mate know what is going on.

Speaking from personal experience having someone talk to who can actually give you advice and help sort out your problems is the way to go. Talking to someone who doesn’t know how to help is not always the best solution especially when you get to the stage of contemplating suicide.

The poster obviously doesn’t have the knowledge or experience to deal with this as if they did they wouldn’t be asking for our advice.

runswithascript

Miss Fluff wrote:

Have you a number for any of his folks?

Nope, he lives alone. He's in he's thirty odd but looks about 20 odd which I guess is something he has going for him.

I'm going to give him a ring this evening and see if he wants to get something to eat somewhere tonight, or tomorrow, whichever is best for him, though I'm very much aware tonight would be best.

little lady wrote:

Do you have a college counsellor or college nurse\doctor that you could talk to?

seamus wrote:

Does he seem to have anyone in college that you'd consider a friend of his that you could get involved?

I'm pretty sure if the counsellor came to him and made him aware he was aware he's having some problems he'd just tell them to fcuk off. When I saw him on Wednesday he said he came to our course instructor, a nice lady, to explain his absence to her (candidly I gather) which I think shows he respects her opinion and that she would be a good person to go to about this. In regards to a friend in our class I think I'm the person he mostly relates to.

I think psychotherapy would be his best bet, psychiatry is debatable as I'm currently having a hell of a time trying to sleep without prescribed tablets after being on them for a considerable time.

Thing about psychotherapy is that I'm pretty sure, even if I could persuade him, he'd go the HSE route and that he'd be on the waiting list for months. I think you pretty much have to make an attempt on your life to even get on that list. If there's someone here who knows different please enlighten me.

marathonic wrote:

he actually did it this time and was buried on mothers day... at least if you tell a load of people as mentioned above, you won't have to go through what she's going through now..

That's heartbreaking, and I also think this isn't just a cry for help.

xebec

You absolutely have to tell someone about this, preferably people in positions of responsibility. Allowing this person to feel this way or to actually go through with it affects so many people. The best way to get him help is by getting others involved.

Like other posters I know someone who killed himself recently, on Mothers day, and it really has an affect on hundreds of people.

b3t4

dusf wrote:

I'm pretty sure if the counsellor came to him and made him aware he was aware he's having some problems he'd just tell them to fcuk off.

Yeah, he might but if the counsellor says 'well I'm here if you need to talk' then half the battle is over for him. The cat is out of the bag, so to speak. He will then know that there are people out there who can help him. You will be limited in how to help this person as you are not a professional. There is only so much you can do and in the end it would be best if this person spoke to a professional.

Giving him the number of the smaritans or aware may be another idea as he can call them whenever he chooses he needs to.

A