Broken up

anonymous69

my gf and i broke up a few months ago for a few weeks, and now were back together wit no problems. i found out last week from another friend that wen we were broken up, my gf and one of my closer friends kissed. have i a right to be mad?

ive always said sumtin like this would happen, and never trusted him wit her, but she always said nutin would ever happen, and that nutin ever did. so looks like she lied about it, and how do i go about saying it to her?

Wibbs

anonymous69 wrote:

my gf and i broke up a few months ago for a few weeks, and now were back together wit no problems.

It may be difficult, but the last part of that sentence is the bit that should concern you. No problems, so tread carefully if you don't want to create some.

i found out last week from another friend that wen we were broken up, my gf and one of my closer friends kissed. have i a right to be mad?

I suppose you've a right to be thrown off kilter a little, but mad? I'd say not. You were broken up at the time. While your close friend may have not exercised the greatest of subtleties, it is a lot different than if you had been together at the time.

ive always said sumtin like this would happen, and never trusted him wit her, but she always said nutin would ever happen, and that nutin ever did.

Then chances are good this was the only time. You weren't together so he chanced his arm. It happens.

so looks like she lied about it, and how do i go about saying it to her?

IMHO? Don't. Let it go. It'll only likely cause trouble down the line. Maybe she didn't mention it, because she felt that it would only hurt you to find out. Now you're back together I'd put it behind you.

Marksie

anonymous69 wrote:

my gf and i broke up a few months ago for a few weeks, and now were back together wit no problems. i found out last week from another friend that wen we were broken up, my gf and one of my closer friends kissed. have i a right to be mad??

You were broken up, they kissed.
Simple answer no you haven't

anonymous69 wrote:

ive always said sumtin like this would happen, and never trusted him wit her, but she always said nutin would ever happen, and that nutin ever did. so looks like she lied about it, and how do i go about saying it to her?

You don't. Its your issue and your issue alone, get over it.
Your g/friend probably meant it when you were together.
However, she was single, and could do what she wanted.
If you are back together with no problems, why create one?. That would indicate you don't trust her.

dr.bollocko

You have to ask yourself if being back together with this girl is what you want. I only say this because it is clear that you havent let some of the issues that caused the inital break up go.

What it comes down to is that ye broke up and while she was single she kissed someone.
OK it was someone you know well, but regardless, as ye were broken up, you won't get away with raising this with her so easily.
I mean ye are now back together, but its clear that there is still a festering resentment from the break up. On the one hand, you are happy that ye came through a break up and are now back together, but on the other hand, you are angry about this and want to emotionally put the boot in because of the pain she might have recently caused you. If you do decide to raise this with her, you may well find it is domino one in the total disintegration of the relationship.
So basically, if I were you, I would take the hit to your pride, shut up about it, and go and hug your girlfriend.....

ZiabR

Yeah agreew with the above posters tbh. You were broken up at the time so if you dig up what happened while you were both single then you may find trouble.

John Mason

anonymous69 wrote:

my gf and i broke up a few months ago for a few weeks, and now were back together wit no problems. i found out last week from another friend that wen we were broken up, my gf and one of my closer friends kissed. have i a right to be mad?

ive always said sumtin like this would happen, and never trusted him wit her, but she always said nutin would ever happen, and that nutin ever did. so looks like she lied about it, and how do i go about saying it to her?

what she did when she was broken up was her busy nothing to do with you - why would you be mad ?

AnonoBoy

It says more about your friend that he moved in on her as soon as ye were broken up than it does about your girlfriend. I presume you guys are all young but, you realise now that the guy has no sense of loyalty so I'd watch him if I was you.

It's not the smoothest move on her part but you two were broken up so she did nothing wrong and if you go raising it with her all the time then say goodbye to peace and harmony. The reason she didn't tell you was because she knew you wouldn't handle it well. And lo and behold you're not handling it well.

Also, asking have you a right to be mad? For god's sake, you're either mad or you're not. You don't need permission to be mad. You don't have a right to try making a big issue out of it with her though because you were broken up.

anonymous69

because she has lied to me about this for the last year, when ive asked out straight did anything ever happen, and she said no. thats the main reason why id be mad.

Trinity

If he is one of your closer friends and she is your ex well its only natural to feel a little betrayed, particularly if you still had feelings for her while broken up and he knew how you felt.

Plus you never trusted him with her so it has confirmed your fears.

But its probably best to put it behind you. How old are you btw? These things can happen and you were not actually together and luckily it was just a kiss. Probably a little bit easier to put out of your mind than had it a gone further.

I suppose the most important question is, do you trust her now?

anonymous69

we're both 20.

ill never trust him, always had a problem with him moving in on her

dr.bollocko

anonymous69 wrote:

because she has lied to me about this for the last year, when ive asked out straight did anything ever happen, and she said no. thats the main reason why id be mad.

I dont think that this is why you are mad. This is the most justifiable reason and the best argument for you to take if it does escalate into a confrontation, but you are really just mad that some other bloke had his hands on your girlfriend, and you are letting it fester.....
You're gonna have to learn to let **** like this go in order to get on and be a bit happier with yourself.

Crea

anonymous69 wrote:

because she has lied to me about this for the last year, when ive asked out straight did anything ever happen, and she said no. thats the main reason why id be mad.

Probably because she didn't want it to affect your relationship and your friendship.
Why not ask her?

AnonoBoy

anonymous69 wrote:

because she has lied to me about this for the last year, when ive asked out straight did anything ever happen, and she said no. thats the main reason why id be mad.

You said you broke up with her a few months ago. If the kiss only happened then, how could she have been lying to you about this for a year? Have you been asking her about this repeatedly?

If you have then you must be wrecking her head. If you only asked the once then she's hardly been 'lying for a year' about it now has she?

davyjose

I disagree with the leniency proffered by some of the people on this thread.

1) Why was his girlfriend with his friend? Is she that careless with the OP's feelings that at no point she thought that this might bother him? It's well and good being with other people (you can go searching for a relationship, a good time, closure, a break), with someone random; but a friend of your ex? Cold and heartless, wouldn't you say?

2) If a friend of mine did something like that to me (and one once did), he would no longer be my friend (and he no longer is). It's not on. Lose him.

Incidentally, the 'friend' who was with my ex, is now with her, since the second time we broke up. I have no problem with this, but had I known this was a possibility (when I got back with her, after the interlude) I wouldn't have been best pleased.

OP, there's not always fire where there's smoke, but sometimes there is. And I'm afraid the only (rather dour, and I'm sure unwelcome) advice I can offer is to ask yourself how bad you need these people in your life.

Good Luck

The Sweeper

davyjose wrote:

Why was his girlfriend with his friend? Is she that careless with the OP's feelings that at no point she thought that this might bother him? It's well and good being with other people (you can go searching for a relationship, a good time, closure, a break), with someone random; but a friend of your ex? Cold and heartless, wouldn't you say?

Nope. What happens he pines after her for a full year? Should she steer clear of all of their mutual friends in that time? Get thee to a nunnery, perhaps? If they're broken up, his feelings aren't her responsibility tbh.

WhiteWashMan

anonymous69 wrote:

my gf and i broke up a few months ago for a few weeks, and now were back together wit no problems. i found out last week from another friend that wen we were broken up, my gf and one of my closer friends kissed. have i a right to be mad?

ive always said sumtin like this would happen, and never trusted him wit her, but she always said nutin would ever happen, and that nutin ever did. so looks like she lied about it, and how do i go about saying it to her?

im sure you broke up for a reason.

what makes you think that reason isnt still valid and that this will be any different?

and no, you dont have a right. what she does outside of your relationship, is her business.

by the way, can you type full words. reading this type of scanger language is annoying and makes you sound like your 14 years old.