Kids with no respect

dbnavan

Whatever happened to kids having respected for their elders, i was speaking to an old school friend of mine the other night who is now a School teacher, and the stories he was telling me where outrageous..... he is called names, kids dont care if there homework is done, he actually rang a father about a kid(14 or 15) a few weeks ago about his behavior and manners as well as never having any work done, and when the father, asked to speak to his son and the phone the kids responses where, ye.....so.....ye....ye.....ye what the f**k you gonna do about it.... when my mate took the phone back the father said, "you heard his responses to me, i am trying everything he is the same at home, i dont know what to do, he is grounded for the last month, has no access to his Playstation, nothing is working".

This was probably the most severe of all the stories he told me. I had an incodent the other night with knick knacking on the door at 9.30 at night, when I went out and caught who did it, as I happened to be behind the door when it happened, i told them the woke my son when we had just got him asleep, the reply was "so f**kin what..."

Mushy

Yeah, I know what you mean here, I see it everyday in school. It seems very often to be the little things. One prime exampole is holding the door open for a teacher. I sometimes do it myself, just hold it open, let them through first. But I've lost count of how many times some young lad will run up through the door that your holding open for the teacher. Just something so basic and simple. And the amount of times you get called a spa for doing it! Now I cant also say I'm always perfectly mannerly towards elders either, but for the most part, I do try at the small little things.

dbnavan, thats **** about waking up your son. Should give them a good rattling, show them your not taking any crap from them

WhiteWashMan

seems to me that they have access to too much money, dont understand the meaning of consequences of their actions, and do not understand how to be responsibile.
ive found that kids who are active in sports or after school activies like music etc are far more pleasant and polite, and have a better understanding of social responsibilities. kids who get after schol jobs also understand the meaning of money of money as well.

the rest just seem to be little chavs.
as funny as catharine taites little chave Lauryn is, its incredibly accurate. nad its scary how many of the little fukkers there are. at least i can raise my kids to not be like that.

Wertz

Seems to me that they aren't getting the proper physical punishment they require from the minute they're old enough to start answering back and defying the will of their parents.
All this mollycoddling of kids, protests about their rights and all that other bullsh*t is going to come back and bite society in the backside.

dbnavan

Mushy wrote:

dbnavan, thats **** about waking up your son. Should give them a good rattling, show them your not taking any crap from them

What classifys a good rattling? You cant do anything physical (as much as I might like to), words mean nothing to them cause they have no fear. Went to one mother about it last week and she used they excuse that her son as ADH, he will have MFUHA(my foot up his arse) one of these evenings

ferdi

kids dont know what it is to do without things anymore...they get what they want, when they want and from what i can see the quality of parenting has gone to the dogs. reintroduce the cane and soon.

jimmycrackcorm

dbnavan wrote:

Whatever happened to kids having respected for their elders, i was speaking to an old school friend of mine the other night who is now a School teacher, and the stories he was telling me where outrageous..... he is called names, kids dont care if there homework is done, he actually rang a father about a kid(14 or 15) a few weeks ago about his behavior and manners as well as never having any work done, and when the father, asked to speak to his son and the phone the kids responses where, ye.....so.....ye....ye.....ye what the f**k you gonna do about it.... when my mate took the phone back the father said, "you heard his responses to me, i am trying everything he is the same at home, i dont know what to do, he is grounded for the last month, has no access to his Playstation, nothing is working".

This was probably the most severe of all the stories he told me. I had an incodent the other night with knick knacking on the door at 9.30 at night, when I went out and caught who did it, as I happened to be behind the door when it happened, i told them the woke my son when we had just got him asleep, the reply was "so f**kin what..."

I read about a father in a similar situation in the states that got results when he sold the sons playstation on Ebay.

DeBeere

Don't think something a vicious as the cane needs to come back and haunt kids, but a slap when they are old enough should put them in the right place.

Worked for me and my siblings.

WindSock

Its only because we are older we notice. There have always been kids that are rude. It sounds like we all have a case of back in my day itis.

zAbbo

dbnavan wrote:

What classifys a good rattling? You cant do anything physical (as much as I might like to), words mean nothing to them cause they have no fear. Went to one mother about it last week and she used they excuse that her son as ADH, he will have MFUHA(my foot up his arse) one of these evenings

That ADHD excuse is a load of bollox, maybe if the parents tried teaching their kids some manners, maybe even reading to them, educating them, instead of lumping them with a playstation for 8hrs a day. Fair enough some children may have ADHD, but why does it seem to always be the knack families, the one's on the dole, mothers sitting on their hole all day watching Jeremy Kyle.

It's the parents fault, not so much the kids.

As WWM said, best you can do raise your own kids well.

Ghost Train

Would say that not all kids are like that, a lot still know how to show respect for adults etc. I think it was the same 10 or 15 years ago, it's just these days theres twice as many disrespectful kids. I think in most cases the parents are to blame, they set the example at an early age and if a kid is messed up it most likely due to the situation at home. Not that the parent intentionally aren't there for the kid, but maybe they have to focus more on work, have trouble making ends meet, are in bad relationships, spoil the kids or have some other issues that means the kid suffers at some level. Again there other things that could be factors, but i think the parenting factor in most cases is the problem

WhiteWashMan

boreds wrote:

Its only because we are older we notice. There have always been kids that are rude. It sounds like we all have a case of back in my day itis.

i dont agree. i dont see any of the behaviour of today (yes huge generalisation) in the behaviour of my generation.

and i agree, a good smack within reason is more appropriate that this fad for feeling and pshyco-analyst. instead fo telling a child what is right or wrong, all it seems to do is confuse children.
being asked about feelings and asked about the morality of good and bad (becuase most adults seem to have trouble about it as well) doesnt teach a child that something is unacceptble. it just revalidates their attempts go further nd further.

i have a 4 year old niece that when he doesnt want to do something, tells her parents that she is tired and she cant cope.
shes 4!!!!!

a smack on the arse and 'eat your food or you will get it for every meal until its gone' works much better than trying to rationalize with a child. and i think if the basics are not there as they get older, then byu the time they are 8 or 9, youve lost the battle.

i dont know, maybe im wrong. anyone else have opinions on this?

spurious

I'm a teacher and see this all the time - parents who want to be their child's 'friend' and not a parent.

We regularly have parents laugh when we tell them what their pride and joy has done or said. How can you expect the children to be any better?

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

WhiteWashMan

spurious wrote:

I'm a teacher and see this all the time - parents who want to be their child's 'friend' and not a parent..

hmmmm, you summed up in one sentence what i tried to say

crazy_dude6662

im 16 and im not like that at all. if i was the kid that knick knacked(chances of that are slim though), i would have felt awful.

but i do agree with some of the stuff said. there is a guy in my year and he is an asshole to everyone and everything. his family life is f*cked up (i know this becuase i was freinds with him when i was younger) he dosnt respond to punishment at all. and although he is an assholecmost people in the class thinks he's great. and just laugh when he does stuff. i for one dont feel safe in the class most of the time becuase of him.
and its his fault, not only his parents. his sister, younger brother and the eldest brother are all perfectly nice people who wouldnt harm anyone.

and yes, in certain cases physical punishment may be neccesary. although with in reason.

but its not wonder he's f*cked up. one of his brothers (a year older than him) is f*cked up too. he tried to castrate this guy and pushed him out infront of an oncoming car. to name just a few things.

Fantastic Kaz

Yeah, I experienced this supervising a social nite last night. Every one of them was a little sh1t, no respect at all. Will NEVER do it again.

Mushy

dbnavan wrote:

What classifys a good rattling? You cant do anything physical (as much as I might like to), words mean nothing to them cause they have no fear. Went to one mother about it last week and she used they excuse that her son as ADH, he will have MFUHA(my foot up his arse) one of these evenings

Ah, just pick them up by the scruff of the neck...that shouldnt be taking it too far. And obviously the shouting bit. But make sure ya know what you want to say, otherwise they'll actually just mock you more. To annoy them, just keeping talking to the respective mothers about it,they'' get very annoyed to keep seeing you, and your doing nothing wrong either, so they cant say much. take your pick

Degsy

A plank of wood with a nail in it..the only thing they'd understand.

Sangre

thank god for flashblock!

Ruu_Old

The world is safe once again..but..for how long?!:eek:

runswithascript

dbnavan wrote:

This was probably the most severe of all the stories he told me. I had an incodent the other night with knick knacking on the door at 9.30 at night, when I went out and caught who did it, as I happened to be behind the door when it happened, i told them the woke my son when we had just got him asleep, the reply was "so f**kin what..."

Why not throw him on the ground or something? I mean a punch would be too much you could grab him by the scruff of the neck, walk him off your property and when you're throwing him outside the garden push him to the ground? I dunno that's probably wrong too? I mean I'd wanna punch him but know it's not right... whatever is one to do?

runswithascript

jimmycrackcorm wrote:

I read about a father in a similar situation in the states that got results when he sold the sons playstation on Ebay.

I think you'll find that was an XBOX 360!

walrusgumble

this might sound terrible,daft, naive and/or back to the old days, but

you know the way most schools have a member of the gardai as a liasons officer? you know that detention is normally a friday evening stuck in a room doing extra work or being made going ou to the school yard and picking up litter or made clean the bathrooms (happened in our school)

maybe, for the serious offender some form of boothcamp or weekends training in the army might work. get the corporal treating them like sh(t and doing all the horrible jobs, an of course formal training wherere no body is allowed to leave or quit.

i am sure many (even me, it was just a suggestion) would think it would not work, but maybe it would help these kids to respect themselves first, and then others, and also give them an avenue to a career or just release that possible destructive engery they have.

dudara

A previous poster made a very good point about the better behaviour whoa re involved in some form of social/sports activity.

I used to be involved with training kids in my taekwon do club, where we had some great adult members. Really decent people, all socially responsible, upright etc. Some kids would come in and join, be somewhat insolent and rude. But the ethos in our club was great, very social, and eventually it would get through to most of the kids. They would become more pleasant and polite and generally turn into more decent beings.

RoyalMarine

i think bootcamp would be an excellent idea. although it might not work for everyone, its been more than succesful in america.

after spending the last 7 months in thailand, id say its not a world wide problem. ok, there are behaviour problems in kids all over the world, but nothing as bad as european countries and america. ive seen a lot of asian countries over the last year, and working in school's teaching english, the kids have the highest respect for teacher's and parents.
when you ask for homework, you would never hear a child answer back in a demeaning manner or any cheeck or back talk or anything.

ok im only 22, but when i was in school there were some kids who were a bit over the top, but nothing like ive seen since i left school.

nick knacking was a game you played as a dare or something. but if caught, well you appologised and that was it... nothing like so f**king what etc.

respect is non existent amoung teenagers in ireland now. its a real fact. its no longer here say and oh he did this and she did that...

no matter where you go, there are people you would call scum everywhere.
im only after getting back from town with some friends, we were in a cafe having some food, and we went out to have a cigarette.
there were 4 kids across the street from us, and they were aobut 14 years old. they were smoking, drinking and throwing stuff all over the place.
it was 4pm! i wonder where their parents were... probably drinking themselves.

its a serious problem. and its only a matter of time before it goes too far, and an angry neighbour woken in the night because their 2 year old child is screaming because of the noise decides enough is enough and some kid gets hurt. why? because their parents for lack of a better phrase, couldnt give a flying **** what thier kids are doing.

seriously, someone should get a camera and go around irish towns and cities filming these kids in action. then make a program on tv called "do you know where your kids are?"
and show faces, names and everything. shame the parents. im sure that will convince some parents to dicipline their kids and sort them out.

but in the end, thats not a soloution. kids cant be hit, beaten or punished like they should be or were in the past.

selling a kids playstation isnt going to keep him off the street drinking, vandalising and torturing people for no reason apart from their own enjoyment.

sending a kid off to bootcamp / military school might do the little bastard some good.

school's can only do so much. the police can only do so much. the courts can only do so much....

in the end, if the parents dont step in and realise their kid is the problem, then you can be sure that kid is going to end up drinking, driving recklessly and taking drugs at some dingy session where everyone is off their faces and someone starts a fight and someone either ends up shot, stabbed, or beaten to an inch of their life.

i can name at least 100 people in my town that take drugs EVERY single day, be it at work, school or in the pub. there has been so many stabbings and murders in the town in from. why?
because their parents didnt do sweet **** all to teach them right from wrong. and their the ones who end up in prison, or worse dead.

so i agree with anyone who says the apple doesnt fall far from the tree. because its evident all over the country.

slipss

Wertz wrote:

Seems to me that they aren't getting the proper physical punishment they require from the minute they're old enough to start answering back and defying the will of their parents.

Yeah what Wertz said, beat some sense into them, make sure they know that if they don't do exactly what thier told by authority figures they will have pain inflicted on them. Then once they are too scared to challenge any authority or to try and work out right and wrong for themselves instead of just fearing punishment, send them out into society, quietly ticking away.

slipss

Disregard that post above, I actually do agree with you, kids are far to molly coddled nowadays, it's rediculas at this point.

Wertz

On the flipside, many people who were physically chastised as kids tell how they were so traumatised, how it ruined their lives, their relations with their parents....a sense of balance really needs to be achieved. Senseless beatings or over use of physical punishment is going to backfire in much the same way as lack of discipline.

But it still comes back to how do you reason with a child who has only formative language skills and try and imbue upon them moral concepts that even adults can struggle with, without using some form of physical punishment as a back up?
It's carrot and stick, and it's finding the balance to suit each child....and after you've got the basics down, try teaching kids some rudimentary manners and try to show the same manners toward them (when they deserve it)...most kids will eventually figure out that it's in their best interests to respect others be it their peers, parents, teachers or society in general and most importantly, themselves.
If parents can't instill these values in a child before he/she gets packed off to primary school, then the cat is out of the bag and they can run unchecked and basically do WYF they like...

SligoBrewer

RoyalMarineComm wrote:

i think bootcamp would be an excellent idea. although it might not work for everyone, its been more than succesful in america.

after spending the last 7 months in thailand, id say its not a world wide problem. ok, there are behaviour problems in kids all over the world, but nothing as bad as european countries and america. ive seen a lot of asian countries over the last year, and working in school's teaching english, the kids have the highest respect for teacher's and parents.
when you ask for homework, you would never hear a child answer back in a demeaning manner or any cheeck or back talk or anything.

ok im only 22, but when i was in school there were some kids who were a bit over the top, but nothing like ive seen since i left school.

nick knacking was a game you played as a da re or something. but if caught, well you appologised and that was it... nothing like so f**king what etc.

respect is non existent amoung teenagers in ireland now. its a real fact. its no longer here say and oh he did this and she did that...

no matter where you go, there are people you would call scum everywhere.
im only after getting back from town with some friends, we were in a cafe having some food, and we went out to have a cigarette.
there were 4 kids across the street from us, and they were aobut 14 years old. they were smoking, drinking and throwing stuff all over the place.
it was 4pm! i wonder where their parents were... probably drinking themselves.

its a serious problem. and its only a matter of time before it goes too far, and an angry neighbour woken in the night because their 2 year old child is screaming because of the noise decides enough is enough and some kid gets hurt. why? because their parents for lack of a better phrase, couldnt give a flying **** what thier kids are doing.

seriously, someone should get a camera and go around irish towns and cities filming these kids in action. then make a program on tv called "do you know where your kids are?"
and show faces, names and everything. shame the parents. im sure that will convince some parents to dicipline their kids and sort them out.

but in the end, thats not a soloution. kids cant be hit, beaten or punished like they should be or were in the past.

selling a kids playstation isnt going to keep him off the street drinking, vandalising and torturing people for no reason apart from their own enjoyment.

sending a kid off to bootcamp / military school might do the little bastard some good.

school's can only do so much. the police can only do so much. the courts can only do so much....

in the end, if the parents dont step in and realise their kid is the problem, then you can be sure that kid is going to end up drinking, driving recklessly and taking drugs at some dingy session where everyone is off their faces and someone starts a fight and someone either ends up shot, stabbed, or beaten to an inch of their life.

i can name at least 100 people in my town that take drugs EVERY single day, be it at work, school or in the pub. there has been so many stabbings and murders in the town in from. why?
because their parents didnt do sweet **** all to teach them right from wrong. and their the ones who end up in prison, or worse dead.

so i agree with anyone who says the apple doesnt fall far from the tree. because its evident all over the country.

agree with everything there.. fabulous post.

in my school each incoming year is worse and worse. i actually cannot bear to see that my school has now become a breeding ground for scummers, and it is now unbearable. im now actually considering getting myself a summer job just for the sole purpose of paying the fees of the only other viable school that i can go to. i have tried blocking these little wasters out but it is next near impossible. the sickening thing is i'll be the person supporting these wasters in 10- 15 years time because they know that they can just draw the dole for their lives.

limklad

Wertz wrote:

On the flipside, many people who were physically chastised as kids tell how they were so traumatised, how it ruined their lives, their relations with their parents....a sense of balance really needs to be achieved. Senseless beatings or over use of physical punishment is going to backfire in much the same way as lack of discipline.

One thing to put into people minds when using hard Physical, verbal and emotional punishment, is that time is on the kids side not yours. As we all grow older, they (the kids) will grow bigger and stronger and the parents become physically weaker, which resulting the child will abuse or abandon or both to the parents and others when they get older. As the saying goes “ What goes around, comes around”

Wertz wrote:

But it still comes back to how do you reason with a child who has only formative language skills and try and imbue upon them moral concepts that even adults can struggle with, without using some form of physical punishment as a back up?
It's carrot and stick, and it's finding the balance to suit each child....and after you've got the basics down, try teaching kids some rudimentary manners and try to show the same manners toward them (when they deserve it)...most kids will eventually figure out that it's in their best interests to respect others be it their peers, parents, teachers or society in general and most importantly, themselves.
If parents can't instill these values in a child before he/she gets packed off to primary school, then the cat is out of the bag and they can run unchecked and basically do WYF they like...

We should get more Psychologists like David Coleman "Families in trouble" programme to teach parents in how to sorting out their families. I know he is doing small children at the moment. But it is never too late during their lives to relies their mistakes.

My parents bad attitude (punishing for everything but not explaining properly) actually were making me worst during my childhood/teenage years. It was my grandparents (without any punishment) who show me respect.

Pigman II

Kids these days questioning and resisting the sheer pointlessness of intitutional eduction is the best news I've heard all day. Long may they continue it until the whole thing is torn down and re-organised.

SligoBrewer

Pigman II wrote:

Kids these days questioning and resisting the sheer pointlessness of intitutional eduction is the best news I've heard all day. Long may they continue it until the whole thing is torn down and re-organised.

and this allows them to abuse teachers how?
does it give them an excuse for being a dole drawing failure in years to come just because they were 'misunderstood'?

slipss

I just typed out a big long post there quoting the two idiots that posted (I'm sure everyone knows which two) telling them why they are idiots but obviously it will do no good so I deleted it and left this rambling meaningless post in its place, but honestly, please stop talkling stupid.

runswithascript

walrusgumble wrote:

maybe, for the serious offender some form of boothcamp or weekends training in the army might work. get the corporal treating them like sh(t and doing all the horrible jobs, an of course formal training wherere no body is allowed to leave or quit.

The Defence Forces are not here to police/rehabilitate those wishing to hang on the fringes of our society. Also it's a bit extreme for a knick knack and I'd hardly call a child doing this an offender.

Fine Gael recently proposed such a scheme - all of you get out and vote and stop the slump coalition.

Also, I have to admit when I was a kid I did them and I know I'm not the only one who has replied to this thread that has done so. Anyone else like to fess up?

Peteee

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for
authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place
of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their
households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They
contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties
at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."

- Socrates, who lived 2,500 years ago

"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on
frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond
words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and
respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise
[disrespectful] and impatient of restraint"

- Hesiod, 8th century BC

Kids have always been this way, it's nothing new

runswithascript

What the hell is wrong with them crossing their legs? Let's not overreact here.

flamingo

I'm currently working in a Child And Family Therapy service, with children who have been typically been referred for behavioural 'problems', like those detailed in many of the posts on this thread. But, with the exception of only one kid (referred for aggression and anger at school, triggered by unrecognised learning disorder), in each and every case, the root of the problem is the parent. Yet, time and time again, the parent refuses to acknowledge that they may have had a role to play in how their child now behaves, and indeed refuses to be actively involved in finding a way to solve the 'problem'.

I have never in my life been so disgusted with so many parents as I have in the last 6 months - it is no wonder that many children are the way they are, given the environments into which they are born.

zuutroy

Some little ****ers were nicking our milk and knick-knackin. One day one of them threw a snowball at the door that I was expecting. Tore up the lane after him, threw him on the ground, kicked him in the back and shouted at him and the little gaylord started crying. Never another litre of milk went west.

dermo88

The problem is actually summed up in one phrase when it comes to parenting.

"They don't pop out of the box with an instruction booklet"

I believe that every parent does the best they can for their child. Some parents choose to follow the path of least resistance, and do "anything for a quiet life". Its lethal to do that. It causes tremendous harm in later life and makes a child believe that life is easy and that life will hand it all on a plate. Not all parents are equipped with the skills needed to handle children.