Not happy within myself

LegacyUser

I've found myself being incredibly unhappy in myself for many months now, not really sure why I'm unhappy.

On paper everything in my life is perfect, but I just don't feel emotionally attached to anything any more.

I've been thinking of seeing a shrink, not sure why, I'm not suicidal or manically depressed, not suffering for anxiety or anything, just feeling a bit blue.

I feel a bit silly going to a shrink as there is nothing really wrong with me.

Has anyone had experience of seeing a shrink for something like this? Am I over reacting, just being silly, I know everyone goes through down periods, this just seems to be fairly prolonged.

Cheers

Kell

nothappy wrote:

On paper everything in my life is perfect, but I just don't feel emotionally attached to anything any more.

Reminds me of a quote from the Matrix from agent Smith "Human life seems to defined not through happiness, but through misery and pain". He had a point.

A lot of the time when everything is going well, we are left with a feeling that there has to be "something else" and being unable to define that something else leaves us in limbo land of unhappiness.

I went through a patch a while ago of thinking "have I got nothing to look forward to besides coming home and vegging in front of the tv. Is that it?" Then I remembered I could paint, and immerse myself in that instead.

Can you define what you mean by not feeling emotionally attached to anything.

K-

Cancer-chick

Without getting too personal .. things might look ok on the outside at the moment but is there something that maybe happened in the past that might have upset you but is only manifesting now ..

Not to sound shrinky .. but sometimes we move thru events fast and its only years later they catch up .. What your describing could be attributed to Post traumatic stress disorder ..

Hope this helps

B

xebec

Sounds a bit like my life a few months ago. My advice would be to go and talk to your GP and tell him/her what you're feeling/not feeling. They can be a great help and will point you in the right direction if you need to do anything about it.

metrovelvet

Its the inertia of contentment, the price is boredom.

LegacyUser

'You say on paper everything in your life is perfect. Perfect how? Perfect as in your life is the way you've always believed it should be?

Let go of everything you think you know. Question everything you've always believed. And start doing things for yourself because they make you happy, not because they're supposed to make you happy.

And for the love of jaysus don't listen to anyone that tells you you should join a club, go to boards beers, and talk to a councillor just because you're starting to realise what everyone realises at some stage - That everything you know is bollocks.'

Kell

Unreg210307 wrote:

you're starting to realise what everyone realises at some stage - That everything you know is bollocks.'

What a wonderful note to read at the end of ones working day. Brilliant.

K-

limklad

Nothing in life is perfect. There is always room for improvement or change.

We are only bored with our lives if we sit about doing nothing or not changing what we do everyday.

It is Only You who limit yourself in your limited lifespan on earth.

God never made us perfect, if he did we be all bored very quickly. He tried prefection once but he destroyed it, by making us imperfect, it gave us something in life to thrive for.

It is great to laugh out loud everyday for no reason at all.:D

It is also our choice in what choices we make in life!

LegacyUser

You have all said different things yet somehow I can relate to all of them.

I did have a traumatic event about 10 years ago, my way of dealing with it was to concentrate on my academic pursuits and get my dream job. I have achieved exactly what I wanted to achieve, but this hasn't made me happy.

I've spent the last 10 years working hard to get where I am today as a way of dealing with those traumatic events, now that I've reached that point maybe things from the past are manifesting now.

I suppose my life is good on paper because I have a fantastic girlfriend, great education, great job and loads of money, good circle of friends (though diminishing as the years go bye), good health etc.

Although I do agree that things like my job don't make me as happy as I think they should.

I'm not bored or looking for the "what else is there to life", I just want to be able to enjoy what I have right now.

I seem to be winging about nothing. But I've tried to pick myself up for several months, but just can't cheer up.

Thanks for all your posts, just hearing what others have to say makes my day a little better.

limklad

nothappy wrote:

You have all said different things yet somehow I can relate to all of them.

I did have a traumatic event about 10 years ago, my way of dealing with it was to concentrate on my academic pursuits and get my dream job. I have achieved exactly what I wanted to achieve, but this hasn't made me happy.

I've spent the last 10 years working hard to get where I am today as a way of dealing with those traumatic events, now that I've reached that point maybe things from the past are manifesting now.

You hit it the nail on it head here, you need to come to terms with the event. You need to talk to someone you trust. It (the traumatic event) is probably holding you back. Face it, explore it, cry if you feel you want to, let it out and let it go. Only then can you look forward to a healthy life.

nothappy wrote:

I suppose my life is good on paper because I have a fantastic girlfriend, great education, great job and loads of money, good circle of friends (though diminishing as the years go bye), good health etc.

Although I do agree that things like my job don't make me as happy as I think they should.

I'm not bored or looking for the "what else is there to life", I just want to be able to enjoy what I have right now.
.

Close you eyes and remember back to events in your life that made you happy and experience them again, feel them, infect yourself with the memories. smell and hear everything that was there.


It is ok to experience past events, it does not matter what happened, good or bad. What matters today is how you let it affect you today. Learn from them to improve ( in a postive way) your life by acknowledging the mistake you or other people made, because everybody make mistakes.

nothappy wrote:

I seem to be winging about nothing. But I've tried to pick myself up for several months, but just can't cheer up.

Thanks for all your posts, just hearing what others have to say makes my day a little better.

Only you can know what is holding you back.

Some times it is the strangest things that can get you moving in places and events that you do not expect.

Marksie

limklad wrote:

Close you eyes and remember back to events in your life that made you happy and experience them again, feel them, infect yourself with the memories. smell and hear everything that was there.

Thats the first time i have seen someone post about that particular process on boards. It is indeed useful to do that in combination with other exercises to help you connect again, for that is what seems to be happening and emotional disconnection.

It may or may not have something to do with your past events, but that is worth exploring, to see if you have truly gotten over it or have just buried it and now it is resurfacing.

There is nothing specific in your issue, it is just a general malaise, but it can be terribly insiduous, you almost don't notice it til it hits.

Limklad has mentioned connecting with past happy events, try connecting with the present. One possibility is to literally try to look at things as if you were looking at them for the first time, everyday things, re-experience the smell, taste, touch of them. Just take 15 minutes or so a day to re-experience these things. We are so busy running around making money and getting everything we want to be comfortable that we often just need to pause and take a new look.

Kell

nothappy wrote:

I did have a traumatic event about 10 years ago, my way of dealing with it was to concentrate on my academic pursuits

Sounds like a mate of mine. Had a number of very bad experiences a good few years back, didnt address them, immersed himself in work, then life got really got. Then BANG, as soon as the brain gaurd goes down, out flows the crap of the past.

Whatever it was, its a good idea to go and deal with it. Stuff left undealt with just follows you around like a bad smell.

K-