Dating and stuff

KingKenny7

Lads, and of course lass's.

I was having a chat woth a mate of mine last night, and we came to the conslusion that its next to near impossible to meet a girl or boy (depends on what way you swing) ina niteclub. Ok you get your one nighters, but I know I;d never call a one nighter girl again, unless I wanted a bit of fun. Basically its hard to meet someone out in a club.

Being the only single lad left, we spoke out my mates g/f's friends, which is an option if you get along. He also mentioned online dating? That sorta scared me as to what type of people I;d meet.

Anyone have any experience and if so where?

Kell

Dont go to nightclubs then.

I come home with new telephone numbers just about every weekend. Its all about the "accidental chat up" TM*as opposed to being perceived as going out of your way to chat someone up.

K-

*Lessons available for a small fee

KingKenny7

Must go to the clubs you go to.

Nevyn

Kell no pimping your services in PI.

KingKenny7 many people use internet dating as a way to learn about the person
by reading thier profile before meeting them face to face or to email them to get a better idea of them.

Kell

KingKenny7 wrote:

Must go to the clubs you go to.

Accidental chat up. Here we go-

Sit at bar
Place fills up
Everyone has to order over your shoulder
Order on behalf of fine women, but insist on not paying for it
They perceive you as being a nice bloke
Conversation ensues
Telephone numbers are exchanged

Simple.

Or, be brazen. Approach the girl you happen to think is the sexiest sight you have ever seen, and tell her so. Make sure you are sober for that one. If there is no opportunity for conversation, walk away. At least you have sparked interest.

K-

Kell

Thaedydal wrote:

Kell no pimping your services in PI.

But no-one reads the small print. Do they?

K-

KingKenny7

Kell wrote:

Accidental chat up. Here we go-

Sit at bar
Place fills up
Everyone has to order over your shoulder
Order on behalf of fine women, but insist on not paying for it
They perceive you as being a nice bloke
Conversation ensues
Telephone numbers are exchanged

Simple.

Or, be brazen. Approach the girl you happen to think is the sexiest sight you have ever seen, and tell her so. Make sure you are sober for that one. If there is no opportunity for conversation, walk away. At least you have sparked interest.

K-

Ok here is something that only my mates know and a few of them at that.

The accidental chat up is no bother, most nights I;m there chatting with loads. But here is the problem, I lack the killer blow. I never go infor the kill. I dunno why, lads say "She was beat into you" and I never see if. I've had girls coming up to me using some of the craziest chat up lines, and I still never cop on.

Kell

KingKenny7 wrote:

But here is the problem, I lack the killer blow. I never go infor the kill.

Um- why disguise your post on the pretense of it not being easy to chat up people in clubs? You have women actually chat you up and you dont respond? What are you afraid of?

It goes like this "hey can I get your number and we can do something next weekend". She is going to say yes or no. Thats it. She is NOT going to hit you, think you are a freak or otherwise just for asking for her number, unless she is a complete fruit bat like some on PI's who come on a a Monday going "he asked for my number. What should I think of that".

No matter how many thoughts, fears and tribulations you have regarding the chatting up thing, it really is as simple as asking someone out. Read my sig "It really is THAT simple".

A no from a stranger is the tiniest, weeniest knock back you will ever get. You are unlikely to see them again, so who cares? Its not like having a crush on yer best mate that your entire will fall asunder if she says no.

Asking someone out is the easy bit. Its finding out whether they are a muppet or not afterwards is the hard part.

K-

KingKenny7

Kell wrote:

Um- why disguise your post on the pretense of it not being easy to chat up people in clubs? You have women actually chat you up and you dont respond? What are you afraid of?

It goes like this "hey can I get your number and we can do something next weekend". She is going to say yes or no. Thats it. She is NOT going to hit you, think you are a freak or otherwise just for asking for her number, unless she is a complete fruit bat like some on PI's who come on a a Monday going "he asked for my number. What should I think of that".

No matter how many thoughts, fears and tribulations you have regarding the chatting up thing, it really is as simple as asking someone out. Read my sig "It really is THAT simple".

A no from a stranger is the tiniest, weeniest knock back you will ever get. You are unlikely to see them again, so who cares? Its not like having a crush on yer best mate that your entire will fall asunder if she says no.

Asking someone out is the easy bit. Its finding out whether they are a muppet or not afterwards is the hard part.

K-

Its easy to get a one nighter in a club/pub. But someone who you actually like is another matter. In relation to the other thing I have to be more assertive. I have never once throw the lips on a girl first, not once!! Now I do/used to get my fair share, but it wasn't all the time. And not have the "Balls" has had me miss loads of chances to meet nice girls.

The main reason why I posted about online dating is, that I'm the only single lad left, and most weekends I spend alone. Get out the violin lol........

But I am going to take your advice, next time I;m out with the lad, and I;m going to start witha very cute girl who works in cafe sol beside the job.

Talliesin

KingKenny7 wrote:

He also mentioned online dating? That sorta scared me as to what type of people I;d meet.

One you sign up for online dating you are one of the type of people someone could meet through online dating.

If you think you're a sound enough person, then there is obviously at least one sound enough person using online dating. The odds that you are the only one would be low.

You can then put your mind at ease

Kell

KingKenny7 wrote:

and I;m going to start witha very cute girl who works in cafe sol beside the job.

Trumpets <not violins>.

K-

Floppybits

Kell wrote:

Accidental chat up. Here we go-

Sit at bar
Place fills up
Everyone has to order over your shoulder
Order on behalf of fine women, but insist on not paying for it
They perceive you as being a nice bloke
Conversation ensues
Telephone numbers are exchanged

Simple.

Or, be brazen. Approach the girl you happen to think is the sexiest sight you have ever seen, and tell her so. Make sure you are sober for that one. If there is no opportunity for conversation, walk away. At least you have sparked interest.

K-

Kell, I love it.

Mrs_Doyle

Kell wrote:

*Lessons available for a small fee

They call him Mr. Boombastic......




OP - I met my BF in college, I met my ex BF through Friends. My best friend met her BF through work, another friend met hers through a drama class that she went to.
Basically, very few people I know met their partners in a pub or club.
Why not take up a few hobbies, or a course. Is their anyone in work that you like?
Or what about hanging out with your friends, friends a bit more often? Its a great way to broaden your social circle, and you'll have your mate on hand to keep ya company if your feel a bit shy.

Kell

Floppybits wrote:

Kell, I love it.

Which bit flops- The brazen or subtle approach?

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

They call him Mr. Boombastic......

Shabba.

K-

Cianos

Just about all my gf's I met out in a club or bar. And maybe I've been lucky, but I got along great with all of them.

KingKenny7

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

They call him Mr. Boombastic......




OP - I met my BF in college, I met my ex BF through Friends. My best friend met her BF through work, another friend met hers through a drama class that she went to.
Basically, very few people I know met their partners in a pub or club.
Why not take up a few hobbies, or a course. Is their anyone in work that you like?
Or what about hanging out with your friends, friends a bit more often? Its a great way to broaden your social circle, and you'll have your mate on hand to keep ya company if your feel a bit shy.

I do have one hobby, but I dont see many girls on the footy team.

chuci

how your friends girlfriends friends does that make sense? you get the idea or would that be a little too obvious. i met my boyf in a club though he didnt approach me i got a bit drunk and winked at him in passing rest is history. if girls are looking like they are giving you the come on sure you might as well try get their no or something and then you can be one of the "fruit bats" here on a monday asking waht to do.
kell very amusing posts. so your the guy from the bar;)

tba

Kell wrote:

A no from a stranger is the tiniest, weeniest knock back you will ever get. You are unlikely to see them again, so who cares?

A knockback after the second time is the real killer.

KingKenny7 wrote:

But I am going to take your advice, next time I;m out with the lad, and I;m going to start witha very cute girl who works in cafe sol beside the job.

Which Cafe Sol?

KingKenny7

[QUOTE=tba


Which Cafe Sol?[/QUOTE]

Baggott street

greenkittie

I met the love of my life in the coat que in the Pod :rolleyes: somehow.

PinkPrincess26

I think you should try online dating,that way you get to know a little bit about the person before you decide to meet up. I tried www.anotherfriend.com and found it to be really good. at first i thought it was going to be full of weirdos but it wasnt, ive spoken and mailed some very nice people and ive met up with one lad who im still seeing at the moment.

So you should defo try it

KingKenny7

Was out tonight but couldnt talk to any girls. Weird I know.

I am very good looking and I know it, but I never make the first move, I seem to wait for girl to try it on with me. And most girls like that I dont want to know. Any advice, not "go out and do it adive" I;ve tried and i bottle it. One of my mates said today, that he thinks I repsect women too much. I dont know what his logic is, but coudl it be right, without knowing me, has this been an issue with any one else you know?

PeakOutput

KingKenny7 wrote:

Was out tonight but couldnt talk to any girls. Weird I know.

I am very good looking and I know it, but I never make the first move, I seem to wait for girl to try it on with me. And most girls like that I dont want to know. Any advice, not "go out and do it adive" I;ve tried and i bottle it. One of my mates said today, that he thinks I repsect women too much. I dont know what his logic is, but coudl it be right, without knowing me, has this been an issue with any one else you know?

have you been in a long term relationship recently???? i went out tonight with the lads with the distinct aim of bringing back the good ole days of scoring randomers in a club and when i got their i was just like this whole club scoring thing is real sleazy there is no way to have a chat with a girl or whatever and that really annoyed me tonight. i was sober so maybe that had something to do with but iv given up drink before and didnt have any problems

i met my last girlfriend on myspace, i messaged her and she didnt write back so i messaged her friend to tell her that she was a bitch she then wrote back defending herself and i said grand i jsut got stood up and im pissed off wana go ice skating tomorrow? worked like a charm but it took a long long time for me to feel 100% comfortable telling people i met her on the net so as long as you think you can get over that part youll be laughing with the whole internet dating thing.........

quick ot question does anyone else feel that walking up to a girl on the dance floor and just trying to dance behind her/ put ur arm around her and wait for a reaction from her is a bit sleazy??? girls your answers would be interesting too

The Corinthian

Here's a mad idea. Try asking a woman out for coffee or a drink while stone cold sober during a normal day.

I know that it's a revolutionary concept - speaking to the opposite sex without the use of alcohol - but apparently that's how all those swarthy continental types often do it.

daiixi

KingKenny7 wrote:

Was out tonight but couldnt talk to any girls. Weird I know.

I am very good looking and I know it, but I never make the first move, I seem to wait for girl to try it on with me. And most girls like that I dont want to know. Any advice, not "go out and do it adive" I;ve tried and i bottle it. One of my mates said today, that he thinks I repsect women too much. I dont know what his logic is, but coudl it be right, without knowing me, has this been an issue with any one else you know?

Maybe all the nice girls who you would like to go out with look at you and think "he's cute but he knows it, way stuck up too - look at the way he ignores people" meanwhile the girls who approach you think they're gods gift and tbh they just aren't. Just a thought.

LegacyUser

'TBH Kenny you do sound very confident and it may give the 'normal' girls the impression that you are cocky and would not be interested in the likes of them.... Just a thought.'

LegacyUser

'To the post who said the whole club scoring is sleazy - yes it is.

If some guy just came up behind me on the dance floor I'd probably walk away.

However there's nothing wrong with approaching a girl in a bar/niteclub. Introduce yourself, chat etc.


As for king kenny, I'm a pretty goodlooking girl and would rarely if ever approach a guy, maybe I'm old school but I still like the guy to make the first move.

Deep down, guys like making the first move, all to do with the hunting and gathering gene or something....something I read, don't know how true it is, but from male friends most of them like the thrill of the chase and being the chaser as opposed to being chased.

xxx'

LegacyUser

PeakOutput wrote:

quick ot question does anyone else feel that walking up to a girl on the dance floor and just trying to dance behind her/ put ur arm around her and wait for a reaction from her is a bit sleazy??? girls your answers would be interesting too

Very sleazy. I hate if men are sleazy in a club or a bar. It makes me wanna run away from them. If you like a girl who is dancing, just dance near her and smile at her, maybe wave at her. Then you could take it from there. I hate when guys think they have the right to touch girls when we are out in clubs just because we are dancing or dressed up.

chuci

PeakOutput wrote:

quick ot question does anyone else feel that walking up to a girl on the dance floor and just trying to dance behind her/ put ur arm around her and wait for a reaction from her is a bit sleazy??? girls your answers would be interesting too

worst thing ever got my neck licked on the dance floor one night gross i mean really who thinks that this is a good idea really?

there is no prob approaching a girl in a bar or club once you were normal and not too cocky like 'hey there i thought i noticed you looking at me from across the bar' yuck, seriously just be normal walk up say hey would you like to dance or what is your name etc most girls i know like the guys to make the first move but then there is some guys you just cant let go and have to wink at them to let them know your interested. you do sound just a little over confident in your posts about your looks most girls can pick this up a mile off.
best of luck

Kell

dateschmate wrote:

Deep down, guys like making the first move, all to do with the hunting and gathering gene or something.

Oh what a lot of utter drivel. It really would have helped if you had qualified that by saying "I know I am making a generalisation here, but..".

I love the way "some" women bleat on about equality and lack thereof, and the other ones who bleat that they never get chatted up, and yet there seems still to be a prevalent sense of-

dateschmate wrote:

maybe I'm old school but I still like the guy to make the first move

If you wont, why the fúck do you think we should?

K-

sobriquet

OP, I've kind of lost track of what your issue is - is it that you can't approach and talk to women comfortably in a social setting or that you can, you just lack the killer blow, as you put it? These are different problems.

The only advice for the first one is the advice you specifically don't want to hear - just go and do it. Your mate said you respect women too much. His logic is correct, I reckon, but I think that you don't respect women enough. You're treating them as alien creatures with a special language that has to be decoded. They're just women. They've had a **** week and they're out for the night with their mates for a bit of a laugh. So go talk to them as you would your mates or anyone else you didn't know very well and have the craic. No assumptions that they do or don't like you, that you will or won't get anywhere. Just chat, have the craic, see what happens.

On this point though, it's interesting that you've said you find one-nighters easy (with women you apparently don't like, for some odd reason). Why? Did you actually approach them, chat them up with the intention of f***ing them? If so, why is it so hard to approach women only for a chat and maybe a kiss or ask for a phone number? Did you pick girls you weren't very attracted to because it makes rejection easier - ah sure I was only trying it on for the ride? My suspicion though is that you didn't do much of the work there, those instances just sort of happened to you.

On the second point, the killer blow thing (in my head, there's a distinct David Brent whiff to that...), and being oblivious to signals. I used to insist that I was like that. A lot of it was that I wasn't looking for them, but to a degree the blindness was intentional. Taking heed of the signals meant having to do something about them, and that was a can of hornets. Easier to plead ignorance. Trouble is though, the advice for dealing with this is the same - just go and do it. Pay attention to the signals, when you think you've got an opening, be deliberate and confident, don't apologize for it, and do it with all the grace you can muster. It might work out, it might not, so it goes.

Drift

Speaking from personal experience I can say the Sobriquet has remarkable insight into the problems that many (not all but most) of the more "shy" guys have with "chatting up" girls. Good advice too on just getting out there and doing it. Its not easy advice to implement but its spot on.

LegacyUser

'Kell: Why don't you learn to read...COMPLETE SENTENCES


The rest of the sentence read:

"something I read, don't know how true it is, but from male friends most of them like the thrill of the chase"


And I said personally I like guys to make the first move....personal opinion!!'