opinion

Layla1981

need response to

you need to develop a strong personality and not let people walk all over you.
and then he says - just some friendly advice

wud u take that from your boyf

macshadow

LOL I've taken your advice on board and your dumped!

runswithascript

Use sex as a weapon against him, you know you want to unless you're going to let him treat you like a doormat?

humanji

Wait, why did you're boyfriend say this to you? Is he worried people are using you and he's afraid of the effect it's having on you? In that case then, he could have said it better, but he's trying to be helpful.

Nevyn

dusf, unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Mitch Connor

did the text come out of nowhere, or were you having a conversation about something.

I don't think what he said is too bad, to be honest. Could have been better said, but maybe you do need to develop a strong personality and not let people walk all over you.

BeardyGit

Layla1981 wrote:

need response to

you need to develop a strong personality and not let people walk all over you.
and then he says - just some friendly advice

wud u take that from your boyf

So let me get this straight. Your boyfriend effectively tells you to wise up and be more assertive, and to stop taking other peoples guff.....

So you head straight to the internerd to ask strangers what they think?

I think he might have had a point to be honest. Just some friendly advice....Listen to him instead of reacting.

Like me, I imagine he's actually trying to be helpful. But unlike me, he actually cares enough to weigh up the consequences of saying it to you - You see, I don't have to worry about it because I won't have to deal with a potentially immature and irrational response. But from your reaction (posting here with the above OP), I guess he's about to get an ill reasoned earfull.

Nice. Way to treat a guy who cares enough to say it instead of taking advantage of your 'weak' character trait. You go girl...Show him what you're made of....

Gil

Wibbs

Layla1981 wrote:

need response to

you need to develop a strong personality and not let people walk all over you.
and then he says - just some friendly advice

wud u take that from your boyf

"Take" what? Don't be too defensive unless with good reason. Frankly I take good well intentioned advice from whatever source. You should too.

Talliesin

Layla1981 wrote:

need response to

you need to develop a strong personality and not let people walk all over you.
and then he says - just some friendly advice

wud u take that from your boyf

Well no, I wouldn't. However I have a track-record of doing what I can to protect me and mine. Do you?

Like humanji, I think we need more context here. Maybe he sees you being used by people and feels you're better than that. Maybe he's talking out of his ass. Maybe it's advice that you should listen to. Maybe he's a constant bastard and sees anyone who isn't also a constant bastard as a walk-over.

I don't think we've enough information to say which is the case.

BeardyGit

Talliesin, I suspect if you're looking for context, you'd need to consider that the OP perhaps has bigger issues than just this one incident....

I'm not being a smart arse, but I'm almost certain I've been reading a new post from her every time there's the slightest hiccup in her relatively new relationship, the tiniest bit of self doubt etc.

I'm not belittling her predicament in each instance, but if she's not going to take constructive criticism from someone as close to her as her boyfriend, is there anything to suggest our efforts are falling on anything other than deaf ears?

OP - What's really going on here? Don't you think it's time you started actually listening to those around you who care instead of biting back and letting your insecurities put up walls with those who have your best interests at heart?

Really - What's going on with you and this lad? Do you actually have any respect for him or is he just a convenient vehicle for more daily drama?

Talliesin

Ah I see.

OP. Looking at past threads I think you need to get much better coping mechanisms than you have. It also seems quite possible that this is exactly what your boyfriend is trying to say to you.

I think this forum is great. It's great that people can come here and get different opinions to help them in times when they can't get their head around something. They can look at those opinions and use that as a basis for making up their own mind.

I don't think it's really very fruitful to do this very often though.

The advice I give almost always comes down to this: Live deliberately.

Not that I'm perfect in following that principle, but steering your own ship is better than drifting, and if the worse comes to the worse you've only yourself to blame.

Asking for advice can help that, but asking people who don't know you is only going to take you so far. Don't let this forum be a crutch. Develop a strong personality. Live deliberately.

Wibbs

Talliesin wrote:

The advice I give almost always comes down to this: Live deliberately.

Not that I'm perfect in following that principle, but steering your own ship is better than drifting, and if the worse comes to the worse you've only yourself to blame.

That should be made a sticky on this forum and printed out for future reference to anyone who isn't sure about how they should react to the various weird crazyness that life may throw their way. Well put and so very true. Funny enough, the admission of not always following that ideal is what makes it stand out and is what makes the aspiration all the truer. Kudos

Beruthiel

Layla1981 wrote:

need response to

you need to develop a strong personality and not let people walk all over you.
and then he says - just some friendly advice

wud u take that from your boyf

Ok
I have taken the time to look through your past PI threads and I am getting the impression of someone who is massively insecure and lacking any self confidence whatsoever.
I'm not surprised your b/f said the above, he's probably totally right and you can take him saying it to you as helpful instead of taking offence, which is what an insecure person would do, and from your question above, it's what you have done.
The only person in this world who can help you with this is yourself.
You can choose to allow the rest of the world to crush you
or
You could say fuk it, I don't care what anyone thinks, I'm going to be 100% myself and let the chips fall where they may, like me, or don't, I am what I am.
Time to start looking deep within yourself, find the things you like about yourself and focus on them instead of the opposite, which I bet you always do.
You don't need others to validate you, validate yourself.
As your b/f said, strengthen your personality and don't allow others to walk all over you, doormats always get walked on.

Kell

Beruthiel wrote:

You can choose to allow the rest of the world to crush you
or
You could say fuk it, I don't care what anyone thinks, I'm going to be 100% myself and let the chips fall where they may, like me, or don't, I am what I am.
Time to start looking deep within yourself, find the things you like about yourself and focus on them instead of the opposite, which I bet you always do.
You don't need others to validate you, validate yourself.

Why is it when I say this in every other post which are normally sprung out of lack of self worth, someone slates me?

Have you any of that sugar coating stuff handy Ru?

Pfft!!

K-