opinion on asking someone out (a local doctor)

LegacyUser

Normally I have no problem either asking someone out or making it known that I fancy said man. However, this particular person that I'm attracted and have been for a considerable number of years is my doctor. Basically I had a crush as a teenager, Im now in my mid 30s, at the time he was married. I always fancied whilst I lived in my home town, I moved away and when I moved back some years ago, I registered with his surgery as all the doctors there are brilliant (there is three of them, I don't always see him and I rarely go thank god, maybe once or twice a year). Whilst married he was off bounds, two years ago his wife died, around the same time I lost a family member as well. When ever I've seen him for medical purposes there has been light flirting between us, I live in a small town, and have occasionally seen him in the pub and we would chat for a few minutes, but it is very rare so I can't ask him out that way, besides I rarely go out. Basically I was in the surgery and I was going to ask him out there but I got upset re: a medical matter so didn't, however he did give me a hug and a peck on the cheek and made a few remarks that makes me wonder if he fancies me as well. I doubt he would ask me out, it may be unethical for doctors to date their patients, if anyone knows this, please let me know as I don't want to put him in an awkward position if I do ask him out? What do others think? Thanks

Talliesin

Tell him you want to move your details to another doctor.

When he asks you why, say so it'll be free of complications when you ask him out.

Vegeta

Talliesin wrote:

Tell him you want to move your details to another doctor.

When he asks you why, say so it'll be free of complications when you ask him out.

perfect

limklad

non_regggie wrote:

Normally I have no problem either asking someone out or making it known that I fancy said man. However, this particular person that I'm attracted and have been for a considerable number of years is my doctor. Basically I had a crush as a teenager, Im now in my mid 30s, at the time he was married. I always fancied whilst I lived in my home town, I moved away and when I moved back some years ago, I registered with his surgery as all the doctors there are brilliant (there is three of them, I don't always see him and I rarely go thank god, maybe once or twice a year). Whilst married he was off bounds, two years ago his wife died, around the same time I lost a family member as well. When ever I've seen him for medical purposes there has been light flirting between us, I live in a small town, and have occasionally seen him in the pub and we would chat for a few minutes, but it is very rare so I can't ask him out that way, besides I rarely go out. Basically I was in the surgery and I was going to ask him out there but I got upset re: a medical matter so didn't, however he did give me a hug and a peck on the cheek and made a few remarks that makes me wonder if he fancies me as well. I doubt he would ask me out, it may be unethical for doctors to date their patients, if anyone knows this, please let me know as I don't want to put him in an awkward position if I do ask him out? What do others think? Thanks

You said there are other doctors in the practice so that will take care of the medical side. So ask him out in the pub or anywhere you meet him except the surgery (It is a personality thing) as that is his place of work. That way you respect his place of work and in no way in using it for your purposes. If it goes soars, both of you can keep it sane.
You are not exactly asking a garda for a date while he is giving you a speeding ticket, you get my drift.

dazberry

I found myself down at my local medical centre a couple of weeks ago - first time I'd been down there - and the doctor I got to see was the most stunning beautiful woman I've ever seen in my entire life - ever - and that was even before she made me breath heavy, poked me in the ear and give me a prescription and there I was looking a mess with a messy beard 'cos I couldn't shave and all /sigh/.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, being well smitten I asked a friend of mine to ask his gf (who is also a doctor) for advice - as both girls went to the rcsi at some point.

She gave me two pieces of advice in this order:
1. I couldn't ask her out related to anything to do with the practice - there's some rule. Her advice was to somehow meet her outside work, but since I'm not the stalking type - well that's me a bit scuppered so.
2. Was a religious issue - as she wasn't Irish and if strictly religious and... etc. Not for PI.

I would doubt 2 is an issue for you OP, but I think 1 could be. If you do want to proceed, just keep that in mind.

Best of luck anyway

D.

Cancer-chick

Id be a bit sensitive re his late wife .. 2 years is not v long

But he does seem to be interested .. change docs and ask him would he be up for a coffee some day ..

Life too short to wait ! All he can do is say no ...

Let us know what happens !!!!!!

runswithascript

Put your hand on his leg next time you're in with him.

Nevyn

dusf wrote:

Put your hand on his leg next time you're in with him.

Banned for trolling and unhelpful postings.

Op you do not want to assault or sexually assault your dr.

Saintly

Okay, just why are you seeking medical attention from someone you fancy?! It is completely inappropriate to ask him out while at the same time paying him for his medical expertise (and completely unethical for him to accept) so be thankful that you got upset at your last appointment.

Just remember what you consider light flirting in a medical check up, may very well be the friendly approach he uses with all patients. What exactly has he said that makes you suspect he may like you? It sounds as though you see this chap a handful of times a year, mostly at the surgery.

I am not trying to put you off - but just be careful. Plenty of patients misinterpret a doctor's friendly manner/concern as personal interest. To begin with, take your name off his patient list. Then wait until the next time you run into him at a bar (start going out more often and you should run into him), before asking him out. Dropping in/calling into a busy GP during work hours when you don't really know him - to ask him out- might seem a little odd to him. And remember, he may not want to date a patient, present or former, especially if he is working in a small town.

Saintly.