Need help talking to the opposite sex

LegacyUser

Hey,
Im a good looking guy and iv been told iv very good style in clothes ect but I never get with any women. Im shy and not much good chatting up women.

But what really get to me is that some people I know are real ugly and treat women like sh,it but they get always get away with someone.

But the thing is that I can get talking to loads of strangers if they are male but once it comes to them being female its like I dont even speak the same language as them.

Now I was out there during the week and I saw this girl looking over at me and smiling and I was always catching her eye. But she was in a big group and didnt know how get talking to her. But even if I did get her on her own what would I say? Would I just walk up and say something like "Having a good night?", "Hi im X, what your name?", "How come your here all alone?", "Im seen you before how do I know you?"?

Like since iv gone off to college some of my friends from school who were like me have gone off to becoming a womanizer.

Thanks for reading.

MojoMaker

Women see you as a wuss. You need to change this. The guy who treats women like crap may well be strangely attractive to them, because above all he is not a wuss or a 'nice guy'.

Change the approach and things will improve. Remember you don't 'need' the interraction, until you learn this women will smell the neediness emanating from you and will instantly categorise you as a wuss, regardless of how good looking you appear to be. Straight women want men, not other women.

burninghearts

You really just need to be friendly. Be yourself, but make more of an effort to socialize in general. Absolutely don't use lines. It's super cheesy. Making a comment about wherever you are is a good start, then if whoever you're talking to seems receptive, introduce yourself. You shouldn't expect anything to come of it. Just enjoy it for what it is. If anything more happens, fantastic, but women can recognize neediness/desperation and it's a horrible turn off. Also remember that women like attention. Even if they're not interested it's still an ego boost (sounds bad but you'd probably be pleased that a girl found you attractive even if it wasn't mutual).

LegacyUser

'u seem to be afraid of being turned down perhaps, its really nowhere near as bad as you can imagine it to be, just get out there and get some practice, the more you try the easier it will get!'

DaBoocal

The girls your friends are talking to,get talking to aswell,get used to it,it doesnt take long to get comfortable with it.The more you talk to them the more you will build your confidence and the better chances you will have.The one thing is dont be afraid or shy,no matter what your friends might think,itll make no difference,if you feel comfortable do it,hence the practice is needed.Before i used just stand with or by the friends and give a Howya and listen on,now i have no bother talking to them and engaging in chat and generally having a good time.Lines and "moves" are ???? to me, just have a good time with them and then when you feel the time is right and ye are getting on well,step things up and casually ask them whatever you want to do.(dont be too forward or like tommy tiernan said "giz a look at your knockers":D)Personally treating them well,dont insult even if its a joke,and having a good time will lead you to a much nicer girl than your friends will grab onto and bed.To be honest only last night and the night before my obscenely drunk friend just latched onto this girl and ended up in bed with her.I dont get how it is.Hope this helps

Poco Loco

Can I have your number

Just kidding. You seem like a really nice guy and deserve to meet a nice girl. Unfortunately, loads of girls you will meet in clubs/pubs are not so nice. Before everyone freaks out, I AM a girl and I've seen how they (hopefully not 'we') operate!!! I will always be nice to a guy who comes over to me cause I figure they must be nervous about it at some level and I reckon it takes guts to chat someone up - I certainly could never do it. And I see the nasty reactions they get so many times from girls! I guess you just have to be prepared to be knocked back once or twice and just smile and move on if you are - it happens literally everyone.

Lines are cheesy and terrible but if you can deliver them in a tongue n cheek kinda way and pull them off as a joke a nice girl might appreciate that you're chancing your arm and give you a chance. Otherwise, the kinds of things you suggested yourself are perfect ways to break the ice. I feel (but am open to correction!) that it kind of doesn't matter what your opening line is - if the girl has a good feeling about you she'll chat to you no matter what you say to open, if not there's nothing in the world you can say to get her interested!

Have faith in yourself! (And don't turn into one of those guys who treats girls like sh!t - there are too many of them around already!!)

Talliesin

guynneedofhelp wrote:

But the thing is that I can get talking to loads of strangers if they are male but once it comes to them being female its like I dont even speak the same language as them.

Well, do you speak the same language to women that you do to men?

Do you ask yourself the same questions about "what should I say" when you're talking to men?

If you aren't asking how to become the sort of man who treats women badly but still gets laid that you mention in your post, then I recommend you just concentrate on talking to women like people.

banquo

Don't forget, you are talking to people; don't try to chat someone up, just talk to them as you would any of your mates.

syberspud

I feel (but am open to correction!) that it kind of doesn't matter what your opening line is - if the girl has a good feeling about you she'll chat to you no matter what you say to open, if not there's nothing in the world you can say to get her interested!

Great advice! The most important thing to remember: you have nothing to lose and everything to gain when approaching. It's completely about your attitude so get in the right frame of mind. Just do it. It might help to treat it like a game - which is what it essentially is. Why do we play games? To have fun of course! So you should smile and laugh a lot! You should try and project confidence and playfulness. Make quips. Tell stories. Be dynamic. It's a slighty more complicated (as in it requires slightly more confidence) when approaching a lone woman or if you are alone too but if you involve her group or if you are in a group, it makes your task in many ways, easier. It's sometimes better to involve her friends as well and almost "act" to them rather than to her, if you get what I'm saying. If you've been reading her signals correctly for example looking at you from a distance, smiling at you and whatnot then she will probably take over at this point in the conversation, engage you directly & ask you a question or whatever. Then you're in. Recognize when they're interested and when to move up a gear. Good signs include her touching herself, her hair, etc, mirroring your pose, leaning towards you, eye contact, touching you on the hands or legs. In fact if she's doing all this you should probably be kissing her.:p But remember to send her signals too. Practice flirting with friends, older women, grannies whatever. Remember, you're young, you're sexy and you're fun.

My two cents on the whole opening lines thing is that they are corny as hell but can work if executed with style. Personally, I find a little witty comment is a better ice breaker than something mundane such as "how are you?" Although this can work as well as any. Just being alert to your surroundings - including the girl - show interest in her style, her mannerisms, her friends and adding a touch of drama can really kick off conversation in a positive manner.

You seem really sound. You're a good guy. So good luck and good hunting!:cool: