Love you own brand?

6th

Ah we're free to admit it alll here .... dont you just love the smell of your own farts?! No matter how bad they are there's always something 'nice' about them

Slow Motion

6th wrote:

Ah we're free to admit it alll here .... dont you just love the smell of your own farts?! No matter how bad they are there's always something 'nice' about them

Indeed ! And why don't women find them funny ? Which do you prefer the loud obvious ones or the long slow silent but deadly ? SBD myself

6th

Ah I love a good noisey one when I'm on my own but in company the SBD are great ... sometimes you just want to shout "IT WAS ME!!"

peasant

Until that day when you go to some outdoor / camping style party, have waay to many beers and tuck yourself up for the night in one of those mummy-type sleeping bags ... where the only exit for the early morning gaseos explosion (aka the beer-**** early warning system) is at the end of the zip right under your nose.

WhiteWashMan

i dont see the problem, as i tell the missus, they smell of scented rose petals.

she thinks they dont.

ha! and im the one with no sense of smell in the family!

6th

peasant wrote:

Until that day when you go to some outdoor / camping style party, have waay to many beers and tuck yourself up for the night in one of those mummy-type sleeping bags ... where the only exit for the early morning gaseos explosion (aka the beer-**** early warning system) is at the end of the zip right under your nose.

Even when its bad its good.

Slow Motion

peasant wrote:

Until that day when you go to some outdoor / camping style party, have waay to many beers and tuck yourself up for the night in one of those mummy-type sleeping bags ... where the only exit for the early morning gaseos explosion (aka the beer-**** early warning system) is at the end of the zip right under your nose.

Remember that old urban ledgend about the guy (in mexico I think) who for some reason was on a diet of cabbage only, went to bed, slept under the covers and gassed himself to death !

6th

Ok so who'd lit theirs?

Tom Dunne

6th wrote:

Ok so who'd lit theirs?

I just can't bring myself to put a naked flame anywhere near my nether regions. The thought of His Lordship and The Servants getting burned, well, do I need to say any more?

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

OldmanMondeo

The Scientist wrote:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2054997553&referrerid=&highlight=

You sir, deserve the Boards thread of the year award for that posting. I tip my hat you *fart*

6th

Quick ... someone pull my virtual finger ........

Tom Dunne

6th wrote:

Quick ... someone pull my virtual finger ........

*pulls*

6th

..... ahhhhh

Vegeta

farting is awesome.

I love the ones that last ages and get higher in pitch. The whistler

OldmanMondeo

Guinness Farts probably the best around. Good loud robust sound, smell that just lingers. I remember when I was young and single sharing a house with friends, was out on the last, fair few Guinness has, woke up the next morning and went to jacks, by jaysus the bedroom air was so thick with the smell of Guinness farts that I gave meself two black eyes. Woke the neighbourhood when I opened the window and set the alarm off.... Those were the days. Now I have to be content with waking herself, the baby and the dog with a good midnight loud fart..

dr.bollocko

I need to build up my fartability. My belching is in the 99th percentile. I mean it really is impressive. It carries, it smells, the sustain is fantastic, I can hit numerous notes, play The fields of athenry.
I just feel let down by my farting... I think its a fear of letting go. I never get past that red faced pushing without assuming that it will all quickly go wrong and I have to stop pushing before follow through.
Any tips for an aspiring amateur farter?

trout

dr.bollocko wrote:

I need to build up my fartability. My belching is in the 99th percentile. I mean it really is impressive. It carries, it smells, the sustain is fantastic, I can hit numerous notes, play The fields of athenry.
I just feel let down by my farting... I think its a fear of letting go. I never get past that red faced pushing without assuming that it will all quickly go wrong and I have to stop pushing before follow through.
Any tips for an aspiring amateur farter?

rookie mistake #1 is being afraid of soiling your shorts ... my advice ... go for it!

also, understand the importance of diet ... your serious farter will know the correct mix of beer,chip fat,pizza carbs and burger protein needed for their particular hoop, and will constantly adjust and maintain intake for the perfect balance

know your goals, what are you aiming for (volume, substance, viscosity or stench) and pick your ammo accordingly ! personally, i like what we call the North Dublin Damp Foghorn (volume and viscosity) and the D5 Cackly Drizzle (viscosity and stench), which i develop with generous helpings of guiness, fruit & veg (garlic and onions are essential!), burgers,kebabs, pizzas, and fish & chips from Giuseppe's on the coast road, and lashings and lashings of mrs trout's beef or chicken curry ... we call it beef or chicken, cos we are never sure which meat it started out life as

when you have ingested your ammo, it's important not to move around too much ... you will invite sickness on yourself, so just sit down, preferably on a couch, and rot your brain while the digestive juices dance their funky mambo on yer guts... this can take some time, so set aside your whole evening for best results .. you can hurry things along with a dozen beers or so

when you feel the intestinal rumbles start to happen, be pleased, but don't force them before they are due ... you'll know yourself when your skip is full ... at this point, cock yer favoured leg, lean away from the line of fire and squeeze hard with all yer might ... don't worry about follow through, it hardly ever happens:o

when you have delivered your message, settle back down slowly and prepare for the aftershocks ... some people like to comment on what has just happened, i prefer to sniff, in a most dignified manner, and will only comment if my eyes begin to water.

go for it dude ... chase yer dreams!

admiralofthefleet

Slow Motion wrote:

Indeed ! And why don't women find them funny ? Which do you prefer the loud obvious ones or the long slow silent but deadly ? SBD myself

i prefer the loud ones and the most satisfying one of the day is the first one after getting up.. the 'morning thunder'

admiralofthefleet

trout wrote:

rookie mistake #1 is being afraid of soiling your shorts ... my advice ... go for it!

have you ever gambled and lost?, trolleys wise

trout

admiralofthefleet wrote:

have you ever gambled and lost?, trolleys wise

nope ... one or two close calls, but the trolleys remain unsullied to this day

Retr0gamer

As long as you aren't 'touching cloth' as they say you should be able to make it to the ****ter.

Slow Motion

admiralofthefleet wrote:

i prefer the loud ones and the most satisfying one of the day is the first one after getting up.. the 'morning thunder'

Understood but let us not forget the long slow SBD as you walk through a crowded pub, then reach the bar, place elbow on the counter as you order a beer and turn and survey the path of devastation left in your wake ! Can't be beat

TheNog

I like the ones that sound like a bi-plane starting up. Sometimes I force them to get the long, deep throated ones. As for belching, well mine are overly smelly nor do they linger so I belch and blow it in someone's face. That does the trick

Blitzkrieger

While I do appreciate a good vintage, I'm going to have to lay off the black stuff in the future. A quick trumpeting session this morning left me almost getting sick. Real concentrated, open-sewer stuff.

6th

admiralofthefleet wrote:

have you ever gambled and lost?, trolleys wise

No Guts, No Glory