Girlfriend still is friendly with her ex

LegacyUser

I have been with this girl for about a month now. I just found out yesterday that she is still mates with her ex. This got me worried and confused. Could teh old spark still light up again. Am I being paranoid?

Has anyone out there ever been with a girl, only to find she got back with her ex.

I talked to her about it and she told me that she is still attracted to him, but he has no attraction to her.

Could this relationship work out or not?

jellie

When i read the beginning of your post i was going to tell you to forget about the ex shes with YOU now.

But then i read:

I talked to her about it and she told me that she is still attracted to him, but he has no attraction to her.

Be careful. Personally I wouldnt want to be with someone who is telling me they are still attracted to their ex. It just sounds like dangerous territory.

Crea

If she is still attracted to him then I can't see you working out especially if she's in contact with him. She's not over him.

Wibbs

confused 123 wrote:

Has anyone out there ever been with a girl, only to find she got back with her ex.

Yep. Luckily I didn't get too attached. I've seen it happen more than once. It all depends on why they broke up.

It's hard one. You could be "I'm on the rebound" guy. You could be "I need to take a break and explore, before I make a bigger commitment" guy. You also could be none of those things. My worry is that she admits to still being attracted to him and as you've no real evidence on how the ex feels, that's an issue. It also depends on how close they were for how long. How involved were they or was it a 2 month thing? If this was a relationship goin on for years then their mutual past might catch up and leave you high and dry. I'd take it slow and hope for the best.

cornbb

There wouldn't be an issue, except for the fact that she says she's still attracted to him. Beware that you might be the rebound guy. Maybe it'll work out for you, none of us can say for sure. But it might be a good idea to not get too attached to this chick too quickly.

Wibbs

It also depends on what she means by attracted. If it's just a physical attraction I would be less worried. Most people, if being honest would still find their ex attractive physically. It's one of the main reasons they got together in the first place. If she's attracted to him emotionally, that would be a bigger issue. The physical can wax and wane in a any relationship over time, but if that emotional connection is still there she may not be in a position to let go. She still sees him after all. Also the physical attraction could spark up for him again. It does happen.

Kinetic^

confused 123 wrote:

I talked to her about it and she told me that she is still attracted to him, but he has no attraction to her.

Back away not today, disco lady!!!!

Seriously though, I like her honesty but I'd be gone quicker than Ben Johnson!!!!

cold_filter

I went out with a girl for 3.5 years we broke up (she may have left me for this guy??) anyway we got back together six weeks later cos she said she couldnt live without me. I dumped her about a month later.

You may get burned but make sure you enjoy the time you spend together

hunnymonster

LIke the others, I was ok until the second last line. By all means ask her what she actually means by this but it doesn't look very promising as it stands.

daiixi

sar84 wrote:

Be careful. Personally I wouldnt want to be with someone who is telling me they are still attracted to their ex. It just sounds like dangerous territory.

You are kidding me right? I am still attracted to most of my ex's however I'm not going to be getting back together with any of them soon. There were plenty of reasons our relationships all broke up, lack of attraction has never been one of them. Either the OP trusts his girlfriend or he doesn't.

gary the great

I wouldnt take much heed, when i first start going out my girlfriend 4 years ago she still had pictures of her ex on her wall and over her bed, for the first few weeks of us going out!

But here we are 4 years later still together!

Wibbs

daiixi wrote:

I am still attracted to most of my ex's however I'm not going to be getting back together with any of them soon.

That's a good point.

There were plenty of reasons our relationships all broke up, lack of attraction has never been one of them.

I do take your point, but it can be a reason for some breakups. The physical spark goes out of it for one or both. If there's the emotional spark it can kick off again. Again it can depend on the status of the previous relationship, plus how and especially why it broke up.

Either the OP trusts his girlfriend or he doesn't.

That's what it boils down to really. I'm slightly suspecting the latter. If nothing else that's a bad start to any relationship. Just go with the flow and see what happens.

OS119

confused 123 wrote:

I have been with this girl for about a month now. I just found out yesterday that she is still mates with her ex. This got me worried and confused. Could teh old spark still light up again. Am I being paranoid?

Has anyone out there ever been with a girl, only to find she got back with her ex.

I talked to her about it and she told me that she is still attracted to him, but he has no attraction to her.

Could this relationship work out or not?

it could be a fecking disaster, with yer man getting his oats back after making her squirm for a bit, yer woman getting the man of her dreams back, and you getting left with the very smelly end of the stick.

however, my 'significant' ex and i are still great friends, she's Godmother to my daughter and considerable effort is gone to by all sides to ensure we see each other regularly despite living a 2hr flight apart.

the crucial bit is that we are both in serious relationships - i'm married, she's about to be - and that we all get on very well with her bloke (my daughter loves him to bits) and she and my wife are best friends. they even go away for girly weekends together.

and yes, i still get paranoid about the witches coven gossiping about me!

the warning signs for me about your situation are the time span - one month is very little time when it comes to serious feelings, she still fancies him (which is very different to the 'feelings' that two people who've had a serious, long-term relationship together may have for each other a decade after they've broken up) and even though he says he doesn't fancy her/want her back, if he's still single and she puts on the show and he's bored with pulling himself then she'll be in his bed faster than you can say 'cuckhold'.

i wouldn't touch it, emotionally, with a bargepole. they may not be going out anymore, but i seriously doubt their relationship is over.