The problem with France...

Steffano2002

My friend (with whom I play and watch rugby games with) wrote this on his forum (The Fern) and because I couldn't agree more and couldn't possibly explain my thoughts so clearly and beautifully, I decided to copy & paste what he wrote here:

Xav wrote:

Ok, I've slept on it, calmed down a little, maxed up on Lexomil and booze... here's my analysis:

WE ARE RUBBISH!!! CRAP!!! INEPT!!! ABSOLUTELY WOEFUL!!! GOD AWFUL, THAT'S WHAT WE ARE!!! WE ARE ****!!!

Now, allow me to dig a little deeper.

For as long as I can remember I have been following France in the six nations. Anybody who's had the misfortune of following a rugby game in the close vicinity of yours truly will attest that I can be pretty vocal and emotional when I am watching my beloved Bleus taking on any team in general, and the Rosbifs in particular. For me, the French National Rugby Union team is the most important thing in the world. Forget world peace or the cure for cancer, the invention of movable type printing or powered flight, nothing will ever come close to that fateful day Coubertin and Du Manoir met in a Café and decided to set up a French national Rugby team just to annoy the crap out of the Brits. Move aside Pasteur, Fleming and Einstein, compared to Paparemborde and Blanco you are but an insignificant blip on my personal radar.

The life of a French supporter is anything but boring. France is no different from other teams, there have been dry spells and there have been times when Lady Good Fortune decided to put on her golden bikini and rub her tits in our face. But! No matter how good or bad we have been, no matter how low or high in spirits, there has always been this little spark, this little je-ne-sais-quoi, this little “**** this, let’s run this thing all the way up the pitch for giggles” kind of thing. It didn’t always work. It didn’t always make us win games but boy, was it entertaining to watch.

J’accuse! Bernard Laporte.

If we were to make a poll on the worst things that have ever happened to France, Laporte’s nomination at the head of the national XV would rank first, closely followed by the germans walking down the Champs Elysées in 1940 and Phylloxera wiping out the entire national wine production in 1875. To think this guy is from the same county as I am, makes me want to go all Simon de Montfort on his ass and burn his hometown down to the ground, with him in it. If it was up to me I would have the ruins trampled by elephants, salt spread over the land and the town’s name erased from all the maps. But I digress…

Bernard Laporte went against everything that’s good and holy about the World today. He has commited the ultimate crime against mankind. He has sucked all the flair and fun out of the French team. Not so long ago, against Italy, after the players only spent 4 days with Bernie le Dingue prior to the game, we were running everything at the opposition, setting fires all over the pitch playing like there was no tomorrow. Now what do we do, we kick away possession… It happens all the time, leave the players with Laporte for more than a week and they all come out brainwashed and formatted. Just seeing them drooling and look like zombies makes you want to grab a cricket bat and work your way through the french backline. I just can’t watch them anymore, I can’t bear it, it’s just too painful. When I see Poitrenaud, a guy that would counter-attack from the club-house, kick the ball away like this, just because he’s afraid Bernie won’t pick him for the next game, makes me want to put him out of his misery.

Trying to win the RWC with Laporte as a coach is like asking Sébastien Loeb to win the Monte-Carlo rally with the handbreak on, it’s just silly. It will never happen. This man’s mephitic influence on the team is all but plain for anyone to see. The longer you leave the team with him, the crappier we become. We played great against Italy, were already bad against Ireland but still in denial. By the welsh game the writing was on the wall, the deed was done. The fact we came back from a 14 points deficit was more a golden bikini moment rather than anything to do with Laporte’s gameplan. The England game was like watching Jade Goody on BB, you know it’s happening, you can’t believe it’s happening and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I would like to tell the English supporters how proud they should be today. They tried, they never gave up, ran everything back at us and it worked. It worked because it’s what Rugby is all about. When it’s not about brain it’s about brawn, short of this you can always rely on flair. It's not rocket surgery! Unfortunately for us, we have neither.

Caybar

10 out of 10 for grammar and vocabulary!

on the rugby side of things, get over it, we all have our bad days, france have a very good chance of winning the RWC, i'd be happy with that.

Steffano2002

Caybar wrote:

on the rugby side of things, get over it, we all have our bad days, france have a very good chance of winning the RWC, i'd be happy with that.

We don't have a chance. Laporte has the players for something like 8 - 10 weeks before the start of the competition. We won't even get out of the pool stages... You watch...

padser

Caybar wrote:

get over it, we all have our bad days

Really can't improve on that.

Steffano2002

We don't just "get over" losing to the English in France... Wish we could though...

RuggieBear

Steffano2002 wrote:

We won't even get out of the pool stages... You watch...

I really hope that is true mate!!!!:p

Diamondmaker

Thats a great read! I love fans with that sort of passion !!

davyjose

Is your mate French? Great read.
Steffano - I know how u(and ur mate) feel. Three weeks ago we felt the same way. If anything it's more frustrating for us - because I honestly believe we had our best ever shot at a GS. But in a few days the sting will go. And you's still are my favourites for the 6N

Steffano2002

davyjose wrote:

Is your mate French? Great read.

Indeed he is. We're a bunch of lads from the South West of France.

davyjose wrote:

Steffano - I know how u (and ur mate) feel. Three weeks ago we felt the same way. If anything it's more frustrating for us - because I honestly believe we had our best ever shot at a GS. But in a few days the sting will go. And you's still are my favourites for the 6N

I know we're still favourites to win... But as far as we're concerned only a Grand Chelem is satisfactory. I'm just gutted... The only difficult game was the Ireland game. And we managed to win that somehow! And then we go fook it up against one of the poorest english teams ever by kicking the ball back to them every 3 minutes... I'm raging! :mad:

Chucky the tree

Caybar wrote:

on the rugby side of things, get over it, we all have our bad days, france have a very good chance of winning the RWC, i'd be happy with that.

Its alot easier said then done then just telling him to get over it. It didnt work the after we lost to England, it takes a while.


On the french team issue, they are the strangest group ever. I always hear people calling them "bottler" etc etc but i dont really agree with that. To bottle it you need to feel the of pressure before and during a game. I really do wonder if the French actually give a toss about winning. They just seem to stroll around the pitch in no hurry at all. It reminds me in my playing days when i didnt care if we won or lost, i just wanted to go back to bed instead pissing about on a freezing winter morning.

I often wonder if Frances pre-match regime if sitting in the dressing room listening to Bob Marley smoking some of Amsterdams finest.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Laslo

France are a bit like Ireland at the moment. They produce some outstanding results and some poor results. It's just that France produce outstanding results more consistently.

daveirl

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Steffano2002

daveirl wrote:

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True. He's a liability...

When he is at his best, he is the best. Only happened a couple of times 4 years ago though...

Sangre

But at least he loses it with flair!

Steffano2002

Chucky the tree wrote:

Its a lot easier said then done then just telling him to get over it. It didn't work the after we lost to England, it takes a while.

Thank you for understanding!

Chucky the tree wrote:

On the French team issue, they are the strangest group ever. I always hear people calling them "bottler" etc etc but i don't really agree with that. To bottle it you need to feel the of pressure before and during a game. I really do wonder if the French actually give a toss about winning. They just seem to stroll around the pitch in no hurry at all. It reminds me in my playing days when i didn't care if we won or lost, i just wanted to go back to bed instead pissing about on a freezing winter morning.

I often wonder if Frances pre-match regime if sitting in the dressing room listening to Bob Marley smoking some of Amsterdam's finest.

I think Laporte is an extremely bad influence on the players. Feels like they are afraid to play the rugby we (the French nation) want them to play. The players are "formatted" to play the kind of rugby this idiot thinks we should be playing... If they don't, they're afraid they won't be playing in the RWC... AFAIC, it's over before it started...

Steffano2002

The Scientist wrote:

[...]If only we could have seen action from the likes of Thomas castaignede , Frederic Michalak, Fabien Galthié, Olivier Magne.[...]

I was agreeing with you until I read "Olivier Magne". I can't stand him! He's the worse player we ever had IMO! Should have retired in 1999 (not 2005)!!!

Steffano2002

Sangre wrote:

But at least he loses it with flair!

Indeed. But I'd rather lose with flair than the way we did on Sunday!

Sangre

Yeah, it was pretty shocking stuff for France. Very unlike you to have so many line breaks with so little return. Although for the last 20/25 I think England just outplayed you and wanted it more. They were clearly spurned on by some great individual performances. Strettle and Geraghty are definite potential world class players. Geraghty was throwing some of the sweetest passes I've ever seen.

Steffano2002

England wanted to win this match. And they deserved to win it too. France went in there and looked like they couldn't be bothered creating anything... Mignoni shouls have played that game too! Yachvili was slow and made a lot of bad decisions (one of his many poor kicks resulted in a try for England).

And you don't replace a scrumhalf who was satisfactory in his last three consecutive 6N games by a scrumhalf that hasn't played a competitive match for 7 weeks right before playing the English! Bernard Laporte... :rolleyes: Tosser...