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Dunno what to do

  • 12-03-2007 2:54pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey,
    I ll try and keep this short,
    went out out at the weekend with my GF of 3 years to a party for her course instructors wife. all her course were there and we had a great time until her instructor needs to get his cam corder from behind her seat and while she s moving he put he s hand just below her knee and slides it down her leg a bit.

    Not happy with this at all, I called for a lift. We get home and when I say it to her sh said she didnt realize and on top of it he was talking to her at the bar asking why she was with me and she could do much better!!!?!?!?!?!

    So all s good the next day, well as good as it can be when she starts going on about I need to treat her better or I might loose her???

    I ll admit I can get annoyed quickly but they way she descibed me as if I m this lunatic that never treats her right when there s no limited to the stuff I do.

    Anyway, weirded out all day Sunday thinking what the hell is she on about and has it anything to do with the knob head the night before?


Comments

  • #2
    DarkJager
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,960 ✭✭✭DarkJager


    Sounds like that guy is putting thoughts or doubts into her head. Not sure what way you could approach this, apart from sitting your girlfriend down for a long chat. Personally, I have to say well done for keeping your cool after seeing that. If it was me I would have left the instructor and his camcorder in bits on the floor...


  • #3
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    Everybody knows that women's number one complaint about men is that they dont do enough [flip side is the men's complain that all women do is complain]. These complaints are as old as the hills. And men know this. And predatory men who want to put doubts in your head and stir the **** will do their best to validate this in a women because they know sure as hell the man she is with wont.

    He probably gave her the feeling that shes right, right enough to say what she said to you, but ultimately this is between you and her and the dynamic that exists between you. She is probably lso enjoying the attention he is giving her, underlining whatever attention she may feel she is not getting from you.


  • #4
    Fanny Cradock
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,245 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    DarkJager wrote:
    If it was me I would have left the instructor and his camcorder in bits on the floor...

    Thus confirming the angry boyfriend status.


    It is possible that the sleaze is putting untrue thoughts in her head. It may also be possible that he is just reinforcing something that your GF has already been thinking. After all, you say that you have a bit of a temper! Did you go home and have a big barney after this happened?

    Maybe this guy has done you a favour and this is a wake-up call. I'd still be worried though. The fact that she said you might lose her, that she didn't notice when he touched her (bearing in mind that it could have been innocent... eh, maybe), and she put up which his 'you could do better' remark. Time to sit down, have a chat and see how you can 'treat her better' if indeed the problem lies with you, which it may not.


  • #5
    hunnymonster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,365 ✭✭✭hunnymonster


    Unre65464 wrote:
    I ll admit I can get annoyed quickly

    This is the only bit you can do anything about. Forget the rest and work on your temper.


  • #6
    Higgsy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 139 ✭✭Higgsy


    OR she see that it bothers you and wants to see if she can gain from what is a bad situation for you?


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  • #7
    kraggy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,414 ✭✭✭kraggy


    hunnymonster wrote:
    This is the only bit you can do anything about. Forget the rest and work on your temper.

    Wtf?

    Forget about the rest of the situation? What about her side of things?

    If my gf's INSTRUCTOR was saying things to her about me i'd be saying "why the fcuk are you taking advice about our personal life from him?"

    Yes, he should address his temper but she has some improvements to make also by the sounds of it.

    For me, hand on leg with "you could do much better" = instructor likes this guys girlfriend.

    And he's married.

    OP may need to treat his girlfriend better but her threatening to walk if he doesn't is emotional blackmail.

    If she has concerns she should sit down and talk with OP about them and not torment his mind like that.

    Finally, how would this instructor guy feel if OP told HIS woman that she could do much better because her husband was going around putting his hand on a student's leg?


  • #8
    Marksie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    Unre65464 wrote:
    Hey,
    I ll try and keep this short,
    went out out at the weekend with my GF of 3 years to a party for her course instructors wife. all her course were there and we had a great time until her instructor needs to get his cam corder from behind her seat and while she s moving he put he s hand just below her knee and slides it down her leg a bit.

    Not happy with this at all, I called for a lift. We get home and when I say it to her sh said she didnt realize and on top of it he was talking to her at the bar asking why she was with me and she could do much better!!!?!?!?!?!?

    If she says she didnt realise, it is quite possible she didn't. It is also quite possible that you are reading something into what he did... it is a bit fuzzy to be talking about sliding his hand down her leg "a bit".
    Are you saying that because you saw this you went home?
    And did your girlfriend say he had been talking to her and what he said, or did you hear it yourself?

    if i get this right, you saw what you saw, immediately got a lift home and when home confronted the g/friend..would that be right?
    Unre65464 wrote:
    So all s good the next day, well as good as it can be when she starts going on about I need to treat her better or I might loose her???

    I ll admit I can get annoyed quickly but they way she descibed me as if I m this lunatic that never treats her right when there s no limited to the stuff I do.?

    Just what was your reaction on leaving and getting home? I suspect that there are two sides to a story here and we are getting one of them.

    Did you ask her what she meant by her comments or did you lose the head?

    Unre65464 wrote:
    Anyway, weirded out all day Sunday thinking what the hell is she on about and has it anything to do with the knob head the night before?
    which one?


  • #9
    genfoley
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 71 ✭✭genfoley


    I think this guy is putting thoughts into her head, feeding her compliments, telling her how much better she can do, telling her how good looking she is and she could have anyone she wanted.....I'd tell her to go find somebody else if she thinks you're not good enough for her and she might change her tune, kinda like reverse physcology.....you deserve to be treated better, you didnt do anything.....good luck with your quest...


  • #10
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    marksuttonie wrote:
    If she says she didnt realise, it is quite possible she didn't. It is also quite possible that you are reading something into what he did... it is a bit fuzzy to be talking about sliding his hand down her leg "a bit".
    Are you saying that because you saw this you went home?
    And did your girlfriend say he had been talking to her and what he said, or did you hear it yourself?

    I dont doubt she didnt for a second and a bit was from her knee to the middle of her calve.

    Yes, when I saw this I decide it would be best that I left due to the already high level of beer I had.

    My GF told me when I asked her about his hand on her leg, said that he asked "What are you doing with him, You could do much better"
    GF "Wha do you mean, you dont even know him"
    marksuttonie wrote:
    if i get this right, you saw what you saw, immediately got a lift home and when home confronted the g/friend..would that be right?

    Confronted seems to strong she asked what was wrong and I told what I saw and does he usually do that during the course?
    Course is Gym instructor allowing for some physical contact i would believe.
    She said he never make s contact during the course and she didnt realise he had put his hand on her leg.
    Then said what he said at the bar.
    marksuttonie wrote:
    Just what was your reaction on leaving and getting home? I suspect that there are two sides to a story here and we are getting one of them.

    Suspect all you want, there was no fight or shouting what so ever I voiced my concern she said she didnt notice and what he said at the bar.
    marksuttonie wrote:
    Did you ask her what she meant by her comments or did you lose the head?

    Once again there was no fight at all. After the night before we were talking about what we d do for the day and then she says,
    "Its not far on me when your annoyed and take out on me.
    something is going to have to change or I wont be around for much longer"
    I basically said I dint think I was that bad and that she was blowing it
    out of proprtion.
    Once again now fight just talking.
    She changed the subject at that.
    marksuttonie wrote:
    which one?
    Ah as I said "What was she on about" and "had it anything to do with the knob he the night before"

    I forgot to mention that I went outside to wait that the instructor insisted on walking her out.

    Me been annoyed is pressure at work and not been able to bounce off the walls when I see her at the weekend.

    I just feel she could have picked a better time to talk about it than right after a guy she sees every week puts the moves on her and bad mouths me.
    Just cant help but think that he is connected to this whether it is putting it in her head that theres a problem or what he said made her realise there.


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