Crazy Old Man

So Glad

See, the other day I was in town with a friend. We were about to cross the road when some junkie (I knew from the voice y'see) was shouting to me "s'cuse may, s'cuse may!"."Yeah?" I say as I turn around to see an old man with a bandage across his head, one really bloodshot eye and was obviously drunk or sniffed out of it. "I'm looking for this animal I lost."He says. " Ok, what is it?" I respond. "It's quite rare...it's called a Celtic Tiger." He says. "Oh yeah?" I say, quite lost. "Yeah, it was last seen it running down the M50 raising the prices of houses! Have you seen it?" Having copped on, I respond "Yeah, yeah, I can't find it meself!"

Having registered the smart response he pats my shoulder and says "Yer eh good man, yer great!" Turns to my mate "So are you! You're great people - now I'm not slaggin' yiz now! I'm serious!" At this point he grabs my mates hand and shakes it for quite a lengthly time whilst repeating himself.

The day went by with multiple beggers asking me for money and charities running up to me trying to act so open and care-free. Town is a pain in the hole these days. Still I give 'em me money, I don't need it...

Share similar experiences.

Sand

The day went by with multiple beggers asking me for money and charities running up to me trying to act so open and care-free. Town is a pain in the hole these days. Still I give 'em me money, I don't need it...

Towns a pain in the hole because people give beggars money, encouraging people to beg.

Zillah

I was at a bus stop with a friend when a drunk hobo started talking to us. I believe his opening move was "Why is there a God?!", to which I responded "Why a why?" That set him back for a second. He ranted for a while, and seemed rather fascinated with Karl Marx for some reason. Then he begged us to not dismiss him as a drunk fool behind his back when he had gone.

Then he left. We lamented how broken his brain was, he might have been rather clever in a former life.

Then we dismissed him as a drunk fool.

biko

Walking through town yesterday and a chugger tried to stop me.
"If fate wills it we'll meet again son" I said and walked off.

So Glad

biko wrote:

Walking through town yesterday and a chugger tried to stop me.
"If fate wills it we'll meet again son" I said and walked off.

Yeah, once before (Having been heckled for money for the 5th time) when another one came up to me I just put my fingers in my ears and started to shout "I can't hear you, nah-nah nah-nah".

bluto63

Crazy bums are funny. I like when they say some random crap to you then walk away.
Chuggers on the otherhand....:mad:

Sofaspud

St Patrick's day a few years ago, there was an American exchange student staying in my house, I brought him knacker drinking, as is the Irish Custom. As I was about to go home (only at around 11 or 12) this huge guy with long curly hair comes over, and starts telling us his life story, which involved people lying to him about his best friend being dead, him torturing people on a local truck, his life with gangs, only pausing now and again to test his best chat up line, "tell me you love me" on every passing female.

Towards the end of this ordeal, we thought he was going to kill us all or something. He gave each of us a match (except for the exchange student, because he was black and it's "not in the ways of the world") to remember him by, when we're all successful(except for my friend, who will be in court for murder when I'm a lawyer).


Needless to say, the American had a great example of Irish living.

mloc

Good old chuggers, I find the best way is to stare them firmly in the eye and shout f'ck off.

Overkill? Maybe, but it does the job. Either that, or for Concern guys, just say you have no bank account.

RobertFoster

We went on a school trip in 5th or 6th year. Standing outside the GPO, a guy approached two girls from the group and, without saying anything, proceeded to play Popcorn as if by magic by clapping his hands infront of his mouth. It was very impressive, and we later tried to replicate it without success. When he was finished playing Popcorn, he handed one of the girls a mandrin and walked off. It was certainly more entertaining than the play we'd been to see.

KTRIC

I came across this Chugger near Grafton St. one day, he just kept screaming "stop kicking me agghhhhh, stop kicking me aggghhhh, I'm a human being".

No idea what he was on about !!!, but I did notice that my boot was quite bloody when I got home

Zillah

What the hell is a chugger?

KTRIC

Zillah wrote:

What the hell is a chugger?

From www.urbandictionary.com

chugger:

Licensed charity muggers with coloured tabards and clipboards laying in wait on every high street in the land to pounce on you and relieve you of your dosh by pressing all your guilt buttons and making you sign up to their cause.

Word first appeared in print in London newspaper METRO on 26 June 2002 in its creator Keith Barker-Main's SAY WHAT (New Words Around Town) column.

Zillah

Ah.

I generally feel pity for them, not anger.

KTRIC

Zillah wrote:

Ah.

I generally feel pity for them, not anger.

I usually pity them whilst I take my anger out on them

So Glad

Of course they are working for a good reason. But I can't stop thinking about where this money goes. Don't the chuggers need to be payed somehow? Also, doesn't the charity need to pay for add, staff, leaflets, posters etc? Exactly how much goes to the cause? Because the amount of money that I see going into these charities, the results are pretty bad. More hunger, more poverty, more depression. Maybe money can't solve everything. . .

Photi

So Glad wrote:

Town is a pain in the hole these days.
Share similar experiences.

Which one?

Edit: Town that is, not hole.

Zillah

So Glad wrote:

Maybe money can't solve everything. . .

Oh money can definately solve world hunger. It'll just take so much of it that no piss-ant charity will ever have that much.

Sand

Which one?

Edit: Town that is, not hole.

Dublin clearly.

InFront

Unfortunately psychiatric illnesses can often be the starting point that puts these men (and women) on the streets. And if you did have any sort of problem like that, I imagine being homeless would seriously aggravate it.

(I'm not talking about chuggers by the way:D though their methods are funny more than annoying imo)

Peyton Manning

Was in Busaras the night of the Ireland - France game in croker, some northern lad, probabky earlier to mid 30s and obviously a bit loony started giving out to these younger Northern lads with the tri-coulour on their shoulders, saying how 'they' should be ashamed of themselves for letting Ireland down in th 'Hallowed grouds of croke park'. F*cking loony altogether. Funniest part, was when he says 'Look, Ill say no more..' to which more than a dozen people cheered/laughed.

So Glad

Photi wrote:

Which one?

Edit: Town that is, not hole.

Dublin, but madness holds no boundaries.

denmagic

We need to shoot the begging b*stards. They're everywhere!!!!!

slipss

So Glad wrote:

"s'cuse may, s'cuse may!"."Yeah?" I say as I turn around to see an old man with a bandage across his head, one really bloodshot eye and was obviously drunk or sniffed out of it. "I'm looking for this animal I lost."He says. " Ok, what is it?" I respond. "It's quite rare...it's called a Celtic Tiger." He says. "Oh yeah?" I say, quite lost. "Yeah, it was last seen it running down the M50 raising the prices of houses! Have you seen it?" Having copped on, I respond "Yeah, yeah, I can't find it meself!"

I think thats genious (i know I probably spelt genious wrong and that opens me up for a lot of "smart" responses) fair play to your man, makes a pleasant change to the usuall street theatre.

runswithascript

So Glad wrote:

Of course they are working for a good reason. But I can't stop thinking about where this money goes. Don't the chuggers need to be payed somehow?

You'll find they're well paid, ask one next time they ask you. If I'm in town and I'm not completely broke/in a rush I'll give to one chugger.

Did no one else buy a daffodil?

Next time I don't want to fork out I'm going to ask them for a lend of money.

You know these guys that come up to bus stops in town asking for "money for a hostel" or "money to get home"? They used to scare the **** out of me when I was a kid but now I just say "I'm broke" and it's as simple as that.

When I was in town the other day there was a homeless guy in his mid forties just quietly standing against a wall almost whispering "help the homeless", he wasn't all in your face about it and I told him I was broke because I was as good as. He said "Thanks, Sir" because he looked genuinely surprised to get a response from someone so a few feet on I stopped, came back and gave him a few euro asking him to do me the favour of getting himself something to eat. I'm pretty sure he didn't.

I think our government has a responsibility to do more for homeless people, it's a minefield with people with addictions and personally I really hate junkies (of heroin) and would have more time for alcoholics but they're people too, right?

Son Goku

At work last year, I was walking up near the crossroads at Christ's Church, when this big fella walks towards me like he's going to beat the crap out of me. I try to avoid him by walking around a tree, but he rund round and meets me on the other side. He then roars "Jaysus bud I'm only lookin fir a smoke did ya think I was gonna bate ya?". At which point I say "Yeah". He then proceeds to hug me like a bear and life me off my feet like I'm his wife he hasn't seen since he went to nam, saying "No worries mate! I wouldn't hurt a fly, I'm sorry for scaring ya". Then he gives me a nuggie and leaves, with half the street laughing at me.