how long to wait

LegacyUser

I am seeing this guy that i like. we have been seeing each other nearly every night. the question is. he is a really nice guy and i havent had much experience with nice guys. how long is nominal to wait to have sex when you meet someone?

little lady

There are no rules on this, it is up to you and your bf and what feels right for both of you.

ZiabR

Yeah agreed, there really is no set time frame for when the time is right. It is up to you both to decide when it feels right. Everyone is different.

Kinetic^

The only rule on this is that you're both of legal consenting age.....after that, do what your heart tells you and you shouldn't go too wrong.

dr.bollocko

I think so too. As long as ye are both legal, as soon as possible! Sex is great!

Miss Fluff

howlongtowait wrote:

I am seeing this guy that i like. we have been seeing each other nearly every night. the question is. he is a really nice guy and i havent had much experience with nice guys. how long is nominal to wait to have sex when you meet someone?

Whenever it feels like the right time tbh. No hard and fast (;) ) rules, just do it when feels right. If you under the legal age try and hang on for when it is legal and just make sure to use protection. Enjoy!

Kolodny

Go with what feels right. If he's a nice guy he won't mind waiting until you're ready (or maybe you mean as he's a nice guy you don't want to hop on him too soon, if he's not expecting it ). Personally, I've dated people and waited weeks before sleeping with them as it didn't feel appropriate to do it any sooner and there was a stronger urge to get to know them a bit better first, but I've also had relationships where it felt perfectly natural to get down to business from the very start. There isn't a rule - it's totally dependent on the people involved and the circumstances.

LegacyUser

Kenny 5 wrote:

The only rule on this is that you're both of legal consenting age.....after that, do what your heart tells you and you shouldn't go too wrong.

we are both 23.

Sleepy

Why wait?

Unless you don't feel ready to take that step in your relationship the only reasons for waiting are other peoples' reasons and therefore nothing that should impact on your relationship in any way.

loismustdie

just wen you're comfortable and it happens. don't plan it

Zebra3

Just try and make sure you won't be disturbed the first time.

Femelade

Like everyone else said..when you feel its right. I waited 2 months..cos i REALLY liked him.

Mrs_Doyle

I went out with a guy, my first boyfriend, for nearly 3 years and never had sex with him, then I slept with my next boyfriend after about 6 months. It felt right the 2nd time around.
I have friends who have had first times sex with their partners anywhere form the first night, to a year or so down the line.
There is no rule, just do what's right for you.

frizzefreckles

I was with my bloke 3 months before we had sex. It made it really special by waiting that long, but i was also a bag of nerves from the anticipation. We'd tried a few times before but fate intervened (sp?). I agree with Zebra3 - make sure you are somewhere NO ONE can interrupt.

padser

To go back to the OP, the question was how long is 'normal'. I reckon somewhere between 6 weeks and 2 months would be normal.

wexford12

Im guessing your a virgin asking this question if so at 23 i would wait till you are fully sure that it is what you want to do you waited this long so another few months wont hurt and there is a lot of other things that you can do anyway and still enjoy it.If your not a virgin well look back at how long you waited in the past and sure only live once and have fun

nahdoic

It's amazing the way nobody even suggests not having sex!

Sex confuses everything. Exposing yourself to a risk of pregnancy, STIs and screwing with your soul. It's the most intimate act possible - joining two people together.

If you break up after having sex it is 100 times worse.

I'd suggest you wait till you decide this is the guy you'd like to marry - then wait till you are married! Then have sex!

nahdoic

nahdoic wrote:

It's amazing the way nobody even suggests not having sex!

Sex confuses everything. Exposing yourself to a risk of pregnancy, STIs and screwing with your soul. It's the most intimate act possible - joining two people together.

If you break up after having sex it is 100 times worse.

I'd suggest you wait till you decide this is the guy you'd like to marry - then wait till you are married! Then have sex!

Yeah, because marriage stops people getting pregnant, magically stops STIs, and noone ever, ever splits up after marriage.
"I'm afraid of bad things happening" = worst reason to get married ever.

And no, I don't think it's 100 times worse to break up with someone you've slept with than otherwise.

killeoin

nahdoic wrote:

It's amazing the way nobody even suggests not having sex!

Sex confuses everything. Exposing yourself to a risk of pregnancy, STIs and screwing with your soul. It's the most intimate act possible - joining two people together.

If you break up after having sex it is 100 times worse.

I'd suggest you wait till you decide this is the guy you'd like to marry - then wait till you are married! Then have sex!

Is it just me or does that come across as some kind of rant proclaiming that by having sex you won't get attached and thus won't get as hurt?

nahdoic

killeoin wrote:

Is it just me or does that come across as some kind of rant proclaiming that by having sex you won't get attached and thus won't get as hurt?

You certainly wouldn't be as hurt if you do break up and think of how perfect it would be if you save yourself entirely for just one person. That one person with whom you share your entire life. Can you think of how special, intimate and perfect that would be?

Alter-Ego

You certainly wouldn't be as hurt if you do break up

I honestly couldn't say whether or not i've had sex with a partner makes the breakup better or worse. There's other factors there.

think of how perfect it would be if you save yourself entirely for just one person. That one person with whom you share your entire life. Can you think of how special, intimate and perfect that would be?

Life ain't that rosey.

Chances are you'd go through a lot of hurt and rejection trying to find mr/mrs right.

MojoMaker

Yeah...and it's not 1978 anymore.

nodger

nahdoic wrote:

It's amazing the way nobody even suggests not having sex!

Sex is part of life, it's ridiculous to suggest that a couple who may want to spend the rest of their life together, should waiting until they are legally bound to eachother before they discover if they are sexually compatible. That sort of thinking leads to unfulfilled relationships and broken homes in the future.

In light of the fact that couples are leaving marriage until much later these days, that suggestion is even less practical.

I won't even bother to comment on the STI/pregnancy aspect of your claims.

killeoin

nahdoic wrote:

You certainly wouldn't be as hurt if you do break up and think of how perfect it would be if you save yourself entirely for just one person. That one person with whom you share your entire life. Can you think of how special, intimate and perfect that would be?

No....Being in LOVE is special, intimate and perfect, so thats what makes having sex with that person so great. You don't have to be married to be in love!

BostonB

MojoMaker wrote:

Yeah...and it's not 1978 anymore.

What happened in '78? If you'd have said 1958 that would make sense.

nodger wrote:

...I won't even bother to comment on the STI/pregnancy aspect of your claims.

Why not?

LegacyUser

I waited for about 5 months with my fella, (mainly coz I was a virgin and we were in a long distance relationship.)

We didn't start doing "regularly" until about a year into it then we had some more long distance

Anyways I think it worked out well because we really got to know each other mentally instead of just spending all our time in bed (Of course not every couple does that but plenty do!) and discovering we've nothing in common when the passion dies!

3 years later we're still together and our sex life is healthier than most couples I know.

I have friends who leap into bed on the first "date", screw for about two months then break up coz they're bored.

dr.bollocko

Sex Pup wrote:

I have friends who leap into bed on the first "date", screw for about two months then break up coz they're bored.

Can I meet them?