Asking for money as a gift

Dandoline

Hi there

I am getting married shortly but dont want to have a gift list but on the other hand dont want to be cheeky and just ask for money. Any one have any suggestions?

DoubleL

Ask for honeymiles. In fairness most couples have their homes bought and furnished by the time they tie the knot. I know my parents baulk at the thought of no wedding list...?? As some people think giving over cash is a bit crude you can set up homeymiles with a number of travel agents, that way people can make a contribution to your honeymoon without actually handing cash or cheque... i think its a great idea, one less thing for you to worry about saving for!

Eoin

Dandoline wrote:

Hi there

I am getting married shortly but dont want to have a gift list but on the other hand dont want to be cheeky and just ask for money. Any one have any suggestions?

If you don't have a wedding list, then younger people will assume that cash or a voucher would be welcome. If people are not sure what to get, they may ring your respective parents or close friends for ideas. Instruct them to mention that cash / vouchers would be appreciated. Give a small list of things you'd like to your parents for those people who really don't like not giving an actual gift.

"Honeymiles" is a great option too.

HelterSkelter

I think requesting cash is very cheeky and I would be pissed off if I was invited to a wedding and asked to give cash. I'd recommend what Eoin_s said though.

Dr.Bunson

helterskelter, you obviously have no idea how much "the big day" costs. believe me cash is more valuable to the happy couple than a vase or a toaster that they will return to the shop....
....I'm getting married this year, and we already own a toaster and many vases, we don't need any more.

OP, tell your family, and close friends that you want cash/vouchers, and they'll spread the word.

I have heard of people putting their bank details on the invitation. Now that's a bit OTT!!!

smcelhinney

Agree with Dr. Bunson.

I think generally people accept that if there is no wedding list, then cash is what the couple are looking for.

And to be honest, being a bloke, its far easier for me to give cash, than to have to worry about whether or not the bride will like the model of the blender I bought them.. (aaah, reminds me of an American Dad episode.. )

But, yeah, I remember Eddie Hobbs doing a show on a young couple trying to buy a house and getting married in the same year, and he seemed to think it was perfectly acceptable to request cash only.

I think it is too, cos Eddie is my god.

HelterSkelter

Dr.Bunson, I do know how much it costs. I am engaged myself. I just think it is downright rude to specify on an invitation that you want cash. Just because you decide want a fancy wedding it is not fair to expect your guests to pay for it.

olaola

I also think it is a bit cheeky to put it on the invite. I would probably tell the parents to spread the word around discreetly.

Branoic

Guests might be pissed off if "instructed" to give money, but then, I would have been pissed off if I got 6 toasters!

Of course, putting it on the invite is pretty vulgar - who would seriously do that? When we got married we didn't put anything on the invite. With our friends around our own age then they asked what we wanted, we said vouchers. We also told our parents to drop the hint to any older people / relatives that asked them. If nobody actually enquired what we would like we didn't do anything to let them know. The end result was that we got mostly vouchers / cash and a small handful of householdy decorative stuff, some of which was nice. So it was all good. We also got married abroad, so cash / vouchers from that point of view was practical.

CathyMoran

My cousin put a cute rhyme on their invite asking for money, seemed perfectly acceptable. We did not ask for anything and got a mix of presents and money (we just wanted to get married so presents were not an issue and our wedding was very small).

DO0GLE

How much does the average big day usually cost??

CathyMoran

You can get away with less than 10K for a TINY wedding but normally 30-50K is what I have heard.

I do not think that the OP is being cheeky asking for money, everyone knows how expensive they are, plus, most couples already have a house so do not need the things that they needed in the past. Be aware though that if you do not ask for anything you may still get presents.

nodger

Dr.Bunson wrote:

helterskelter, you obviously have no idea how much "the big day" costs.

If "the big day" costs so much, why do people have them? Why not just invite close friends and family to a more modest reception? It seems ridiculous to factor-in possible cash gifts when planning your wedding.

Iompair

Most weddings I've been too in the last few years have been cash ones. I prefer it to be honest. I hate looking at a list and picking something from it.

Zambia

Im well in favour of the Cash/Voucher thing and I spread the word to say so.

I already have a house full of stuff I am trying to reduce , happens when you move two houses into one. I dont like throwing old stuff out if its fine.

As for the big day I owe a lot of people a big party. As I had a ball at all theirs and I can afford to throw a big wedding so , best I fork out for a party.

GAA widow

I've heard of this rhyme being included on an invitation! Imagine!




The date is set, we're going to be wed,
about time to so many have said,
the venue is booked the invites out,
but the wedding gift list is causing some doubt,
we've listened to advice from families and friends
and taken on board different traditions and trends,
but together we've lived for so very long.
that to ask for home furnishings would seem rather wrong,
so this is our version of "The Wedding Gift List".
its our own special version with a bit of a twist.
To some it mite sound strange or a little bit funny,
but what we'd really appreciate is a gift of money.
We hope that our request doesnt embarrass or offend,
as it means that our dreams would be no longer pretend.
A romantic honeymoon we could finally do,
and from new york in America, we can raise a glass to you!



I'm all for cash gifts, it can be done subtlely via word of mouth when relations ask your family what you would really like, but I have to say asking for money so blatantly like this in an invitation is very cheeky!


What do ye think of it?

DO0GLE

I don't think its right to ask people for money. I also think that people get out of hand spending so much money on weddings but thats just accepted now. Just think money gets wasted on lavish receptions when it should be put to better use like reducing your mortgage/debt or sending your kids to college down the line.

greenkittie

CathyMoran wrote:

You can get away with less than 10K for a TINY wedding but normally 30-50K is what I have heard.

All i can say is thank god my man agrees with me that spending money on other peoples enjoyment on our big day is a waste. We are getting married abroad.. far far away.. everyone is invited of course pity the flights will be too expensive for them to bother. Just me and him and perhaps a couple of people who like us enough to shell out for flights heaven.

dame

nodger wrote:

If "the big day" costs so much, why do people have them? Why not just invite close friends and family to a more modest reception? It seems ridiculous to factor-in possible cash gifts when planning your wedding.

So true.

Asking for cash is cheeky. In fact, a gift list is just as bad. Sure it is convenient for the couple but why expect gifts at all?? If you need to ask for cash from the guests then that's a huge big wake-up sign saying that you can't afford that particular wedding -> what we can't afford we probably shouldn't have.

dame

greenkittie wrote:

All i can say is thank god my man agrees with me that spending money on other peoples enjoyment on our big day is a waste. We are getting married abroad.. far far away.. everyone is invited of course pity the flights will be too expensive for them to bother. Just me and him and perhaps a couple of people who like us enough to shell out for flights heaven.

Agreed. Hope you have a fantastic time!

Crea

How much to give is the question? Going to a wedding next month and when I asked the bride she said money but haven't a clue how much to give. Don't mind giving money too much. W had a list but got a load of money from my hubbies side and I can't lay a hand on anything in our house from his side of the family. It's nice to have something to remember people by even if it's just a frying pan