leaving home at 16/17

BEAT.old

Has anybody here left home as a teen before finishing school?
I dunno why, I dont get abused or anything, or get bullied in school or anything but I have this urge to just leave home, I cant stand not having the freedom I want.. I just have to get out of here, leave the country asap...
Those of you who have done this kind of thing, share your story please I wanna know how to go about this without having to live on the street for the first year... are there any associations that supply me with a hostel or something until i start working and earning enough to rent?

cheeeeeeeeeers :]

InFront

I hate Mondays too, OP.
Just go to school

BEAT.old

i have no interest in reading your condescending crap.. answer properly or dont answer at all please..

Dirk Gently

Done it at 18, left home with only my deposit and train fare in my pocket and really enjoyed it for a while until the honeymoon period was over. It's only natural for you to feel like you need to get away. Only through experience will you find the right combination for living, i.e. on yore own, in a house with 6 other people, sharing with just one friend ect.... They each bring with them different problems.

I'd advise you to resist the urge for a year or two until you’re either in college or working supporting yourself. Independence is great but you don't want to end up overwhelmed and running back home after reality hits. At 16, unless you’re moving in with a few older mature friends I can see it going downhill fast.

If you’re really intent on moving out, move in with a few friends close to your parent’s house and gradually assert your independence over time as opposed to going it alone from the start. Remember, mammy’s fridge is always full and her washing machine and heating always work.

Kinetic^

BEAT.old wrote:

i have no interest in reading your condescending crap.. answer properly or dont answer at all please..

ROFL!!!!!! Here, if you don't like what you hear................why don't you just leave here as well as school :rolleyes:

stepbar

BEAT.old wrote:

Has anybody here left home as a teen before finishing school?
I dunno why, I dont get abused or anything, or get bullied in school or anything but I have this urge to just leave home, I cant stand not having the freedom I want.. I just have to get out of here, leave the country asap...
Those of you who have done this kind of thing, share your story please I wanna know how to go about this without having to live on the street for the first year... are there any associations that supply me with a hostel or something until i start working and earning enough to rent?

cheeeeeeeeeers :]

I don't think you would be mature enough TBH OP.

BEAT.old

what gives you that impression? will only help me to know these things

InFront

sorry, wasnt trying to be condescending. it's just that i think everyone who was 16 or 17 can remember wanting to leave home and get a job, and most of us are probably glad we didn't. why do you think you'll have more freedom working and living in a hostel?

Schlemm

Everyone gets the urge to leave home at some stage or another, but don't take for granted the years that you have to sponge off your parents while it's still acceptable.

Believe me, it's a whole different ball game when you've to support yourself!

BEAT.old

InFront wrote:

sorry, wasnt trying to be condescending. it's just that i think everyone who was 16 or 17 can remember wanting to leave home and get a job, and most of us are probably glad we didn't. why do you think you'll have more freedom working and living in a hostel?

I'm not sure if it's the idea of freedom from my family that I like, rather just that everything that will happen to me and everything I do, will be result of my own actions and decisions. If I want to go to eg. a concert, there wont be any mediator such as my parents that decide whether the time I get home will be too late, whether it will be too expensive, or any other factor that will stop or allow me going, it will be completely based on my own actions and my own decisions, whether I worked enough hours to be able to pay for it, whether I studied enough to merit such a rewards, etc...

Backtoblack

Its in your own best interest to finish school at least!! You'll regret it later in life otherwise, i'd imagine. Its only a year.. chillax, study hard and once you've got your leaving cert finished you can decide with more confidence (and more options for college AND work) what you want to do from there.
A lot of people don't like living at home when they're younger but personally I think finishing your exams is a good life-time decision that will stand to you.
Employers anywhere will hire someone with a leaving over someone without so you could find it hard to find work even now. Finish school first defo!!!
Its only a year away anyway.. You can take your time and think about what you'd really like to do when you finish school and have a plan in place instead of just being rushed about it!!

ChRoMe

I moved out when I was 18. I understand the feeling as a teenager to want your own place.

Sorry to be the messenger of bad news but to be honest its not possible until you have finished school at the very least. In the eyes of the law your not a adult. So you wouldnt be able to sign a lease or open a account with somebody for tv and internet for example. Im not even taking into account if you have a job or not. On top of that if you start working at 18 your going to be making crap money and in Ireland supporting yourself on a low wage job is hard. Things like going to a concert are difficult to afford.

Other things to consider is can you cook a decent meal? Do you know how to use a washing machine?

With all that though you can still start preparing yourself for moving out on your own. Learn at home everything thats actually required to make a household run (I think you might be surprised how much stuff there is to consider)

Best of luck when you finally do move your life will totally change When I was still in school if somebody had told me where I would be at 24 I wouldnt have believed them. I think its hard in school and living at home to realise what life is like when your out in the big bad world!

Faith

Jaysus, I actually had a countdown at one stage to when I could move out. By the time it came to leaving Ireland and moving abroad for uni, I really didn't want to any more. Now I live on my own, in my own apartment and buy all my own stuff. It's nice that there's no one moderating me, but there's also no one to take care of me when I get sick, no one to buy my food and make me dinner... Once you hit 18, OP, your parents generally ease up hugely on the moderation. Mine did, anyway. When I was under 18, I was expected to be home before midnight. Literally as soon as I turned 18, that went out the window.

Nowadays though, I really look forward to going home and having my parents around to worry about me!

Black Swan

Turned 18 and left shortly after with work overseas. Pay is grand, but I sometimes get lonesome for home. When that happens, I play boards.

Tails142

My advice is to concentrate on your leaving cert and go to college. If you live in Dublin, go to College in Limerick/Cork/Galway, or if you're outside Dublin, go to college there. That way you will likely get money off your parents to help with rent and government grants to help with your education.

Nearly all my friends in College are from the country and renting apartments in Dublin - its great fun, but they are all doing it with either huge loans or support financially from their parents. And a lot of their apartments are ****e.

Most student flats comprise of a ****ty room (that you have to clean yourself); with every other room downstairs and up having some other stinking student sleeping in it, save for a ****ter you all share (which nobody cleans), most likely a tiny sitting room with a TV that has only 3 channels, and a kitchen with an empty fridge.

Compare that with the 5 star treatment you're probably getting at home and maybe you should reconsider the pro's and cons of moving out.

That's just me telling you like it is

nesf

Moved to PI where people might be more constructive.

cournioni

When you go to college, you'll get all the independance you want and more. Just hold out for another two years.

Beruthiel

OP
I honestly think you'd be mad to leave before you finish the leaving cert.
I left home at 19, couldn't wait!

But though I was itching to get away I still made myself do the leaving. I believe you'll regret it later on in life if you don't do it now when you have the chance. Another year or two of discomfort now is worth it for the next 70 years of your life eh?

Overheal

definitely wait it out OP, you have no idea how good you have it at home. Sure, my Dad was a bit loud and restricting and slave-driving but I did have my laundry done for me over 1/2 the time and I always had a good meal and all the addition. I miss it already.

When you think about moving out your mind is almost always filled with the Honeymoon notion of it: you get your own job and you buy your own groceries and you cook for yourself and do your own laundry: its rather triumphant, to say the least.

However within the first 6 months (if not sooner) you may begin to regret that decision. The hardest part of which is sustaining it all through long hours of minimum wage work (assuming someone will hire you); under 18's are by no means entitled to minimum wage (in fact, not even 18's are entitled to minimum wage: they are only entitled to 80% of minimum...under 18's even less afaik)

Also, I don't think you are really going to find any institution in the country that is going to help you leave home: in fact, they will all likely try their best to keep you there.

Stay at home, grind through your cert, come out with grades you will be proud of in August, and then do what you feel like: by which point you will probably get financial support from the folks for your troubles. Leave now and they may just cut you off cold.

Zambia

Sometimes its not the authority over you but the family association

If you really want to leave home join the Irish Army as an apprentice

Or come up here and Join the Royal Irish Regiment they could have you in Iraq earning a living by your 18th.

http://www.army.mod.uk/royalirish/recruiting_join_us/index.htm

You may be happier at home ...hang in till you finish the leaving.

Red Hand

Stay for a year or a year and a half and get your L/C. You have 60 or 70 years to be out on your own.

TheNog

OP, I agree with most of the comments here. Stay in school and do your leaving cert at least. In the meantime why don't you talk to your parents and discuss letting you have more freedom. If ye come to an agreement remember that you will probably have to compromise as well as your parents to come to a happy arrangement. Also remember to show your parents that you are grown up, you need to be responsible and show maturity.

What worries me in your original post is that mentioned living on the streets although you did say you don't want to do that. Believe me I have come across many homeless people in my job and you DO NOT want to go down road. It is extremely dangerous beyond belief! Honestly...

I remember when I was your age wanting the exact same freedom. I came from a good loving family but I still believed that my life was being cramped and could be difficult at times with school,friends, girlfriends, hobbies etc. As soon as my Leaving was done, I left home to work. It was then that I realised that life outside of school is even harder. The money in all of my past jobs was crap because I was considered young, inexperienced and no qualifications. The money i was getting was barely enough to feed me and pay rent. I didn't have any money for clothes, going out or even enough to save for rainy days. I had nothing. THankfully my parents supported me someway through this time even though i didn't like to bother them. Most times they didn't know I was broke and starving.

Finally, life is harder but more fullfilling after school. Just make sure you get through secondary school at least. Get those college qualifications if you want your life to be a little easier.

Sleepy

OP, you're still a kid. Enjoy it while you can.

dame

OP, you've been given lots of good advice here.

A slightly different slant on it;

If you leave before you get your Leaving Cert (and at only 16/17) you have a very small chance of getting a job and zero chance of getting good wages. You might have freedom but no money to do anything and nobody to do anything with because your friends will all living in comfort at home and studying for their exams. They might envy the fact that nobody checks you get in by midnight (and will enjoy hearing your tales of living in the big bad world looking after yourself) but at the same time they'll know they'll be better off in the long run doing what they're doing.

How will you feel when your friends go off to college in a year or two and are having their freedom, going out and enjoying themselves part-funded by parents and grants? Meanwhile you'll hopefully have managed to find your first job and will probably be working all sorts of unsociable hours for crap money. Your friends won't care. They'll be too busy planning their next class party and paintball society outing. The odd time they include you on a night out you'll discover you have nothing much in common with these people and their new friends and the invites will become less frequent. Other friends will be too busy working in jobs they love, learning their trade and doing college terms with Fás. They'll quickly start to forget you.

Fast-forward a few more years. Your friends will have finished their college or training and will have landed their first real jobs. They'll be on reasonable money, maybe paying off a small student loan and will be moving into nicer apartments, buying cars and heading off on foreign holidays. You'll either be in the same job or a similar one. Making pretty much the same as you did when you started, with little responsibility, stimulation or job satisfaction.

Another few years down the road and the friends will be thinking of settling down. They'll have careers they love, any debts paid off and will have plenty of disposable income so might even be thinking of getting on the property ladder. You might have progressed to the stage where you're a supervisor of some sort but will probably still be on less money than your friends started on in their first job and that'll be about as high as you can expect to climb in that particular job. One of these days you'll go to view a new apartment you're thinking of renting and discover one of your old school pals is the landlord for this particular block.

Is this a pretty picture?

Stay in school and look around and see what you'd like to do afterwards. There are plenty of opportunities out there. You could always do an apprenticeship and you'd be earning as you trained or there's the army (as someone already pointed out). Think about it. Don't make any rash decisions just because the Mammy and Daddy get on your nerves now and again.

LegacyUser

Hey i understand were your comeing from Totally ! for 17 years i was sharein a room with my bro an hated it ! he's alot older than me so it wasnt like we were on the same level interest wise.

Anyway i'd suggest u do a J1 this summer to get a feel for independence ! i did it in new york at 18 the summer after i done my leaveing cert and loved it however it also help me wake up ! its not easy ! when i came back i was in shareing with my bro again for a short period but now i rent with 3 other freinds were all between 18-19 an have a 2 bedroom apartment ! i share a room with a freind which is cool as i get on with him an what not !

However were all doing apprenticeships apart from 1 an come rent time its a pain in the wallet ! we live on pot noodles an anything Aldi/Lidl most days so its nothing like your mothers home cooking or cleaning,I Personally get on great with my family also an lucky we rent pretty close to my home so i can always nip in for a dinner an what not :-D Its a wake up call but if you have the will an really want to do it finish school an go for it ! You seem pretty keen on moveing out like i was an i no what its like ! so experience it u may hate it an find it hard u may love it an wonder why u didnt move sooner ! youll never no till you try darling

LegacyUser

Stay in school.At the age you are you probably have what...maybe a year and a half left?(If you're not in trans year).What do you really intend to do when you move out? You won't get a job easily, because you're not 18 and have no qualifications. You won't stay in school, because your priorities will completely change and the important things will become where you will live, and how you will afford to eat.And the way things are now, you need at least a basic qualification to get any kind of a job.

And tbh, you've come this far in the education system.Why throw it all out the window now, when you're so close to finishing? Go to college in a different county, and you can move out. Trust me, that's the way to go. But hang in there in the meantime, things are never as bad as they seem.

MizzLolly

Hey OP,

Sorry to hear you're having some trouble. I moved away from home when I was seventeen. I moved to Dublin and went to University. Like yourself, I hate my home place. I couldn't wait to get out of there. The only real difference is, I had prepared myself for it. I'd been accepted to the Uni I wanted and I'd been working all summer.

I'm nineteen now and it hasn't gotten any easier. It's great having your own freedom and all but the fairytale notion of 'running away' is not how things happen in reality. If you leave you must be prepared to work damn hard to keep yourself going. I know it's the most disheartening feeling ever when you're caught in a place you really don't want to be. I hated my school, the local country mentality etc. Everyone seemed so narrow minded and judgemental and it was really just the general bitterness down there, I hated it.

I used to come home every weekend (or whenever I could) as my then boyfriend lived there. It was only after we split I realised how much, (although I already detested the place) but just how much I wanted to disassociate myself from it.

Anyway, I left and I'm fine. It's hard but it's grand. Gives me something to work for. Onto you now.. Have you finished school yet? I know you could very well have done your leaving cert already. Sure I started college when I was 17. But your OP mentioned nothing about college?! What are your plans? Have you thought about this at all?

Again, I'm not trying to give you 'condescending krap' as you said to one poster earlier but you do need to think very realistically here. You asked is there a hostel you can go to incase you end up homeless.....?! That screams out to me that you've not considered this fully. DO NOT, under any circumstances burn your bridges and end up with nowhere to go. I do understand what you're feeling, I know it's horrible but you cannot just run away. What you can do is make the decision to leave and become independant and with this, comes some huge decisions. You need to have a goal. I moved away because I had been offered a degree course for which I knew I'd be spending the next three years of my life working on. To do this, I had to get a job, pay rent, bills and just generally, be alone. No matter what anyone says to you, no matter how many friends you've got or how popular you are, you're still on your own when you come home. That loneliness combined with the anger you're expressing here is a recipe for disaster OP.

You have no idea of where you're gona go. You don't have a goal. There's no desire or ambition there other than to escape.

Please think carefully about what you want. I know it's hard when you feel like you really will do anything to get out of where you are but you can't start running blindly. If you want to get out you need to set a target and be mature enough to stay dedicated to it because I promise you it isn't easy. I'm working part time to pay my rent and to stay in college. I don't have money for a holiday. I can't go out all the time. I work every day I'm not in college. Last year, I ran straight from my Christmas exams to work. I worked right up until Christmas eve. I ended up back home with my family at about 10pm Christmas night. Be prepared to make sacrifices.

I can't complain about any of the above because I chose to move away very young, I chose to go to College and pay my own way etc.. and I wouldn't change a thing. It is hard. I've been exhausted and in hospital many times this year due to a reoccurring illness. That's causing a financial strain which means I need to work more now. Which I'm not really managing very well because this is my final year and I've so much work to do. I fear that everything I've worked for may blow up in my face. I could fail this year and then what have I spent the last three years doing?

So you see, it is a gamble. It's not something to take lightly and you must be mature enough to keep yourself disciplined and focused.

You definately need to stay at home and think this through thoroughly..


Good luck.

HouseHippo

hiya
Just moved in with my bf,i'm 18 and in my last year in school.
However I often return home to study,scab food and collect things. I couldn't wait to get out of my house my grandparents are hell to live with.
Howvere I have a job at night which pays quite well and a long term bf to support me. I wouldn't reccomend just leaving on your own until college. Then you can get student accom...which is great fun

Peewee_lane

Hey OP, go onto daft.ie and have a look at rent prices, dont forget that you need a months rent as deposit.

Also dont forget that there no jobs out there at the moment, so in no time you may be back home and staaaaarvin.

Also try not forget that your parents pay for the house you live in and the food you eat so count your blessings, get a job, save up your money and then make an informed decision.

Wagon

This thread started in 2007...I think the chaps moved out by now.

Beruthiel

Dragging up old threads in PI is a big no no.
B