Three word story thread

Backtoblack

Dear problem page lady,
There's a "Three word story!" thread on boardsie & I think I have a problem. I'm finding it harder and harder to keep it to 3 words each post... sometimes I hate letting other people put in their 3 bits.. I often feel like writing a novel in there and its driving me crazy!! I get jealous when other people post funny things.. I can't stand it if someone uses a bigger word than I do, especially if it comes directly after one of my posts.
I think I need some thoughts from you on this... do you think I should talk to one of the moderaters about getting a Novel Thread all for myself maybe? or what other solutions could you think of?
Please help, I'll have to bash the screen of my laptop if this continues, I just can't take it anymore..
Thanks problem page lady. You're worth paying 50c for them ****e tabloids girl, you are what sells them.. and i think some of the lads like the sport too.. but mostly its you for sure!
If you ever have any problems yourself, you can talk to me!
Yours sinsilly,
xxx Backtoblack xxx

brianthebard

Dear Backtoblack,
I suggest that you chill out and buy a thesaurus. then perhaps you will be able to match other multisyllabic posts. Also, a handy thing to do may be to keep pressing f5 after you post, waiting for a reply, and then instantly post another three words. This way you will exponentially increase your wordage culpability in the thread and soon the thread will indeed become a novel. Of course with this level of dedication to the thread you will no doubt end up calling in sick, losing your job as a result and going insane from the eating mouldy pizza crusts that will be littered around your room as you strive to create the new novel-thread. Eventually, this new literary technique may find favour with the Nobel committee and you will posthumously be awarded a distinction, thereby giving your previous-to-this-pathetic-excuse-for-a-life some sort of meaning in the eyes of the multitude, giving you a Kafkaesque aura of failed genius to be studied by chin stroking know-it-alls for decades to come.

Also, I think guys buy the paper for the picture versions of the problems page, which invariably involves soft core nudity, a child born out of wedlock, or a questioning of one's sexual preferences and/or connection to one's partner.

I hope this has been enlighting,
Briantheproblemladybard.

Backtoblack

Dear Briantheproblemladybard

You are the way, my savoir, my light and I shall never be able to thank you enough or show my gratitude to the extint that I feel truely indebted to you. Thought long and hard about your wise words re my perilous situation.. I do use F5 continuously on Three Word thread and do not wish to look obsessed or like post-whore so try not to post without someone else joining in (though often it pains me not to).. Have taken some days off already so as to be able to fully devote myself to thread, though always order fresh pizza with credit card, you make a valid point re no job, no money, no fresh pizza, no care, no mind eating mould - It is an abhorrent thought, one that truely frightened the ****e out of me ~ so much so that have decided to open savings account for such an eventuality and will have spare dosh so as not to eat green&white fur mould.
Will start novel soon too, on Microsoft Word. Will be much happier having full control of all story!!
You're my hero Brian problem-fixer lady!
Sends you platonic love bubbles, Yours now and always..
Backtoblack

(will give mention at thank you's during Nobel Award... do you think I should cry and bawl for effect?)

brianthebard

Um no, please don't cry at the awards, those swedes are an unemotional type, they wouldn't be impressed. I'm glad to see that you are now putting some foresight into your commitment and this will no doubt hold you in good stead for several months, after which you will probably have moved onto another thread or similar shiny object type thing and all will be well in the world again.

Brianthefixerofproblemsofladiesbard.

Backtoblack

Thanks lady. I feel at peace with self now.

Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish - at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tires that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick,
that's driven into frozen winter ****
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig in a cage on antibiotics.

Matt Holck

I just rescued a spider in the washing machine

FlutterinBantam

:eek: :eek:

Hold the fcukin Prozac!!!!!

Backtoblack

Well done Matt, spiders are cute really.. its earwigs ya gotta watch out for! Freaky little critters! euww!

Backtoblack

FlutterinBantam wrote:

:eek: :eek:

Hold the fcukin Prozac!!!!!

not sure who's holding your prozac but that's a Radiohead song lyrics up there just in case you didn't know or somthing....

FlutterinBantam

Erm... I didn't ..wouldn't say it was a hit was it?;)

DarkJager

If that song was anymore Emo....it would cut itself...

Backtoblack

Sorry, I can't pretend to be cool any longer.. what does "EMO" mean?

<<<<< Newbie!

DarkJager

Its too hard and depressing to explain it but heres an excerpt from Wikipedias entry on "Emo" :


"Some definitions of emo hold that typical "emo persons" are likely to inflict self-injury, most often by means of cutting, burning, or otherwise mutilating themselves.The theme of self-injury is also common in emo poetry"

Matt Holck

Ralph Wiggum: The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there.

brianthebard

Backtoblack wrote:

Sorry, I can't pretend to be cool any longer.. what does "EMO" mean?

<<<<< Newbie!

Emo was a musical genre which first appeared in the 80s (check out Rites of Spring). It had some sort of renaissance about five years ago, (some would say a pervertion) and a subsequent fashion "movement" of sorts strung up around it based on floppy fringes,skinny jeans, cons, nhs glasses and a moapy look on your fizzog. Now the term is used to ridicule people, but is in fact just a really lazy insult at this stage, used so often and so out of context as to inspire posts like this one.

Backtoblack

brianthebard wrote:

Emo was a musical genre which first appeared in the 80s (check out Rites of Spring). It had some sort of renaissance about five years ago, (some would say a pervertion) and a subsequent fashion "movement" of sorts strung up around it based on floppy fringes,skinny jeans, cons, nhs glasses and a moapy look on your fizzog. Now the term is used to ridicule people, but is in fact just a really lazy insult at this stage, used so often and so out of context as to inspire posts like this one.

Once a problem-fixer-lady, always a problem-fixer-lady. Thanks for the info!

Ok right, didn't notice that fashion period, well maybe the skinny jeans but I'm a flares girl myself so I guess the Emo renaissance passed me by.. lucky me it sounds.

brianthebard

I flares. only jeans I wear. I had a really nice pair or green cords but they shrunk in the wash *cries*

Backtoblack

brianthebard wrote:

I flares. only jeans I wear. I had a really nice pair or green cords but they shrunk in the wash *cries*

bummer. When I was your age, **cries**, I had a pair of original levis from 60's, flares.. dyed them orange.. coolest things ever... wore them til literally one of the legs fell off!

brianthebard

You don't know what age I am! There were some really cool purple ones in eager beaver that I wanted but my butt and thighs are too big/muscular/fat- I managed to fit in but there was no space for air! *cries some more*

randylonghorn

:rolleyes: Speaking of emo:

brianthebard wrote:

*cries*

brianthebard wrote:

*cries some more*

/slaps Brian

SNAP OUT OF IT, MATE!

brianthebard

http://x09.xanga.com/c82d937350c3047432991/b11266362.jpg

randylonghorn

Backtoblack

brianthebard wrote:

You don't know what age I am! There were some really cool purple ones in eager beaver that I wanted but my butt and thighs are too big/muscular/fat- I managed to fit in but there was no space for air! *cries some more*

ok so. I had purple flares! They were wicked.. some lycra in them, made of a soft velvet crushed material.. coolest things since my orange flares! I think I gave them to my sister then, not sure where they are now. I'm a little more conservative these days, due to expectations from work & mature society.
Booo!

brianthebard

Fight the system Backtoblack! Don't sheeeet offa nobody, no matter how often they tell you flares are unacceptable work attire!

Backtoblack

brianthebard wrote:

Fight the system Backtoblack! Don't sheeeet offa nobody, no matter how often they tell you flares are unacceptable work attire!

Its useless Brianthebard, if work doesn't getcha, old age will in the end!

DarkJager

Pfffft...my grandfather is still rockin flares and platform shoes like they never went out of fashion.... .....They never went out of fashion....right?

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Backtoblack wrote:

Thanks lady. I feel at peace with self now.

Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish - at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tires that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick,
that's driven into frozen winter ****
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig in a cage on antibiotics.

haha you sound like Steven Hawkins!

Backtoblack

Hail 2 Da Chimp wrote:

haha you sound like Steven Hawkins!

haha

Backtoblack

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I can't believe it.. There I am, happily posting pretty posts in said Three Word Story thread and the hateful thread gives me above message...
What am I to do.. damn it to hell and back again at least 5 times in 30 seconds.. baxtard thread was born from hell and should return, because it gives hellish hateful message to BacktoBlack for loving it so..
I shall never love again!!!

Matt Holck

Backtoblack wrote:

ok so. I had purple flares! They were wicked.. some lycra in them, made of a soft velvet crushed material.. coolest things since my orange flares! I think I gave them to my sister then, not sure where they are now. I'm a little more conservative these days, due to expectations from work & mature society.
Booo!

not a mature society
a cowwed one

Backtoblack

Matt Holck wrote:

not a mature society
a cowwed one

Hun, don't even get me started!!!
How doing today you?
Hope well.