How much toilet paper do you use?...

AdMMM

I have gathered a tonne of wonderful toilet-related tips from Boards.ie and from experience, toilet threads are always fun to discuss. My topic today refers to the art of being economical with your toilet paper usage but not so much so that you could end up making a wad of money by selling your toilet paper exploits on the net!

Personally, I give the roll a good tug and let the tissue hit the ground and then tear it off, scrunch it up and proceed to give it a good wipe before repeating the process until I'm suitably satisfied (Yes - I look!). There has unfortunately been the rare occassion where I would have to try to make do with the bog end of the roll i.e three sheets at the end but I certainly wouldn't do it by choice as the 30 minutes that follows of you running around the house looking for bleach, Fabreze and even onions just isn't worth it!

So how do you go about trying to keep your hands clean and uncontaminated? I've heard of wonderful stories of a so-called "Rotation system" but it seems alien and quite frankly, scary!

cornbb

I like to use an andrex puppy instead of toilet paper.

So soft...

Black Swan

Reminds me of a funny story. There are two universities in LA that seriously complete in sports with each other, USC and UCLA. They are strong rivals. Well, I saw some toilet paper the other day with UCLA printed on its sheets, obviously for USC students to use. Puts a whole new spin on "wiping out" your opponents?

AdMMM

Can't beat that quality! I wouldn't want to be a puppy from you though :S

marco murphy

One of those portable toilets (portaloos or what have you).
Pay 50p to get into. 3 pieces of paper.
I use the 3 pieces of paper, but i still needed more to know where i stood, another 50p.

Okie

Three sheets of toilet paper myself.......

One up, one down, one to polish.

(Thank you, Red Dwarf)

irlirishkev

|.Murderer.| wrote:

Personally, I give the roll a good tug and let the tissue hit the ground and then tear it off, scrunch it up and proceed to give it a good wipe before repeating the process until I'm suitably satisfied (Yes - I look!).

You're the reason there's never any bogroll in the crapper when I have the unfortunate experience of having to dump in a public crapper!

For f*x sake. To wipe your crack clean, you don't need to unravvel enough bogroll to stuff a duvet. Unless of course you have some serious ass problem.. Seriously, unrolling till it hits the ground, how many sheets is that, 10? What a waste! If you're worried about your fingers breaking the tissue, cut your nails.

This is kindergarden stuff.. As an adult, you should know you don't need to use half a bogroll to clean your hole!

Thrill

What is it with Boards and toilets. Seems to be a thread about the bog every week.

At least it's regular.:)

How many sheets do i use? I don't know tbh. As many as is needed. No sense in going around with a dirty crack just to save on bog roll.

.

AdMMM

irlirishkev wrote:

You're the reason there's never any bogroll in the crapper when I have the unfortunate experience of having to dump in a public crapper!

For f*x sake. To wipe your crack clean, you don't need to unravvel enough bogroll to stuff a duvet. Unless of course you have some serious ass problem.. Seriously, unrolling till it hits the ground, how many sheets is that, 10? What a waste! If you're worried about your fingers breaking the tissue, cut your nails.

This is kindergarden stuff.. As an adult, you should know you don't need to use half a bogroll to clean your hole!

Now that we're on the topic of public bogs, whenever I do use one I place another 10 sheets around the rim of the toilet. Can't risk getting bum diseases now can I?

marco murphy

|.Murderer.| wrote:

Now that we're on the topic of public bogs, whenever I do use one I place another 10 sheets around the rim of the toilet. Can't risk getting bum diseases now can I?

Has to be done, also bearing in mind the thousands and thousands of piss splashes from thousands of different people on that seat.

Ruu_Old

|.Murderer.| wrote:

Now that we're on the topic of public bogs, whenever I do use one I place another 10 sheets around the rim of the toilet. Can't risk getting bum diseases now can I?

Ah but a good few toilets have those plastic sleeves around them now, that changes after each flush (or you press a button) so there ya go, some loo roll saved!

connundrum

Ruu wrote:

Ah but a good few toilets have those plastic sleeves around them now, that changes after each flush (or you press a button) so there ya go, some loo roll saved!

I've yet to actually see this here, saw it in Turkey before. It can get painfull when you're dying to let loose and you've to spend like an hour trying to arrange all the squares perfectly before allowing your bum to touch.

On topic, I'd say I grab between 3 and four handfulls depending on the severity of the night before.

I dream of craps where there's only one wipe required... just falls out of ya like... aaahhhh

Oh and does anyone worry about your willy touching off the same place that thousands of other willys have touched before by mistake? When sitting down theres just that front part of the bowl, under the lid. I stick extra layer of protective paper down there. You just can't be too careful when it comes to willy disease!

admiralofthefleet

4 sheets folded over into 2 if its like an otter off the bank or 6 sheets into 3 if i have been on the guinness or had an indian and i would tend to use good paper as opposed to economy bumwad, i dont want to poke my finger through and end up with a taxi drivers tan on my hand

Karl Hungus

Usually a good 4 or 5 sheets, repeat untill nessicary.

Although I pine for one of those Japanese toilets. Heated toilet seat, and those lovely things that squirt warm water up your bum built in. Plus a load of other buttons that I'm not sure what their function is, but I wasn't too keen to press at random. Absolute toilet heaven, and my crack never felt as clean.

If I could get one of those babies imported, I'd never use toilet paper again.

FlutterinBantam

This is getting quite tiresome. In public shytters I would always go "from the shotgun" ie enter stall,180 turn,drop all obstacles,hips to 45 degrees,slight backward shuffle,ensure nipsy two to three feet from pewter,slight flex of the knees and final adjustment of aim ..ssss whaaaaaaawp!!!!

Resuly may not be pretty and can resemble a bad roadkill, but removes any fear of ass/pecker contact with contaminated surfaces. Best performed after injesting plenty Guinness and if possible Ryvita sunflower and oats bikkies.

Properly performed should obviate the need for toilet tissue as the muzzle velocity should easily clear the gun barrel.

smashey

Karl Hungus wrote:

Usually a good 4 or 5 sheets, repeat untill nessicary.

Although I pine for one of those Japanese toilets. Heated toilet seat, and those lovely things that squirt warm water up your bum built in. Plus a load of other buttons that I'm not sure what their function is, but I wasn't too keen to press at random. Absolute toilet heaven, and my crack never felt as clean.

If I could get one of those babies imported, I'd never use toilet paper again.

Those yokes also dry your bum after the squirt of warm water.

Generally I just keep wiping until i'm happy that the possibility of skid marks has been ruled out.

Okie

connundrum wrote:

I dream of craps where there's only one wipe required... just falls out of ya like... aaahhhh

I believe that phenomenon is called "A Winner"

Crucifix

Okie wrote:

I believe that phenomenon is called "A Winner"

Or the perfect crime.

johnnyrotten

bidet

brianthebard

Sometimes I have nightmares of not using enough paper...

Degsy

I use three ply,insutrial strength andrex because on the hole its better