Conundrum that affects us all

dublinario

A gaggle of villainous nuns have abducted you from your bed and lodged you neck-high in a swimming pool filled with sh*t. The head penguin throws a bucket of snot at your face. Do you duck?

peepsbates

yea why not

Archeron

No. As snot is a head hole based product, I would guess that your head skin is already able to deal with its chemical composition. However, having your ears and nose filled with someone elses ass droppings could cause a nasty infection.

In short, shoot your snot penguins of doom, i shall not falter, i shall not blink.

Femelade

i'd just move to the side.

Pherekydes

You need to see a doctor, dublinario.

Duck, hah.








What about the fcuking fumes?

dublinario

Femmy wrote:

i'd just move to the side.

You'd like that Femmy, wouldn't you? You'd like if life was so flexible. Unfortunately for you, the toxic bum drainage is of sufficient viscosity to render crab-like sidling impossible. Otherwise put, you are immobilised from the upper neck muscles down.

It's a metaphor people. It's not supposed to be taken literally. In reality, the poo might only be a symbol to represent something else, like vomit.

Pherekydes

dublinario wrote:

In reality, the poo might only be a symbol to represent something else, like vomit.

You'd last longer in the sh!t. In vomit, the acid would kill you. How about if the swimming pool was full of chlorine? Or molten lava?

dublinario

Slow coach wrote:

You'd last longer in the sh!t. In vomit, the acid would kill you. How about if the swimming pool was full of chlorine? Or molten lava?

Slow Coach, you've given me a lot to think about. Also, I neglected to mention, but there's a shark in the pool. Not that it makes much difference: it pretty much died instantly from asphyxiation.

DarkJager

What if the pool was surrounded by sh1t stained cats who would spit and hiss sh1t at you if you tried to climb out? P.s does the sh1t in the pool have stuff like nuts and sweet corn floating around in it???

dublinario

DarkJager wrote:

What if the pool was surrounded by sh1t stained cats who would spit and hiss sh1t at you if you tried to climb out? P.s does the sh1t in the pool have stuff like nuts and sweet corn floating around in it???

From your questions, I'm assuming your a full-time philosophy professor? I'll answer, but this thread was really intended for amateurs; not pros like you and I.

Indeed, the pool is surrounded by sh*t encrusted felines, but they are docile, and wouldn't dream of hissing. There is also a nearby lama though, and he spits if cornered or fondled.

The constituent nutrients of the pool's contents contain traces of nuts, like many foodstuffs, both former and current. Sweet corn is a definite possibility, but without further analysis of sample stoolage, we simply can't be certain at this juncture.

connundrum

lol

+1

DarkJager

Dublinario, is it possible that these excrement covered cats are just in it for the money? Do they have any other motivation for stalking the edges of the "pool"?

spacecoyote

DarkJager

Is the Penguin Of Death involved in this??? I knew that little b@stard was invloved somewhere in the planning!!

spacecoyote

I don't know, but something smells fishy, and where theres fish, theres..........THE PENGUIN OF DEATH

DarkJager

Where theres a smell of fish....theres usually a brothel. Do you think this pool is part of said brothel???

spacecoyote

i wouldn't rule it out






















You're going to look for the pool now aren't you?

DarkJager

I'm not going to look for the pool while there is a chance the Penguin Of Death is around there. He is possibly protected by his tanktop wearing mackerel bodyguards?

Sarky

I can't believe nobody in that situation would think of masturbating. Shame on you all.

DarkJager

Masturbaating would be the last thing on my mind, up to my neck in sh1t, surrounded by the Penguin Of Death, his mackerel bodyguards and the crusty sh1t stained cats..... Although I must ask you Sarky.....How the fvck would you move your arms?