guy problem

LegacyUser

i never thought i'd have this problem but i now have the 'i've fallen for a friend' dilema. i honestly have no idea how the guy feels about me romantically, but i do know that if we did get together and things went sour it would cause untold trouble as we both share the same group of mutual friends. When we're out together we are extremely flirty towards another, and if he were any other guy i would have kissed him by now. The thing is i want more than that.

I don't want to mess things up between us and i'm on the verge of telling him how i feel but something in my head keeps telling me i shouldn't. Recently on a night out we were talking and out of nowhere he brought up the fact that i had been with his friend, i hadn't known that they were friends, i just laughed it off but i couldn't understand why he had brought it up? that night i practically asked him to walk me home but he ended up walking another friend home. The following week when out his best friend came over to me and asked me if i was interested in derek, i don't know why but i said no.

i cannot get this guy out of my head, but i dont know how he feels about me, i want to tell him how i feel but i don't know if its worth the risk he may not feel the same? i dont even know how best to even bring it up. Should i just leave it and try to move on? i suppose my question is, is it worth the hassel of getting involved with a friend? if he doesn't feel the same is it inevitable that our friendship is over?

shinners007

his friend asking if you were interesetd in him suggests he may like you also.
you could say it to him on a night out in a round about way if its not recriprocaited then blame the alchol!!! then the friendship wont be affected.

my fiance was my best friend same situation as you. i did the above four years later we'r still happy and engaged.


you only live once if ya think it's ment to be go for it!

best of luck

warrenaldo

if he really did like you he would have walked you home. because he probably would have been hoping to. now unless there is a valid reason why he couldnt - he just didnt want to.

id think bout that nite - that will tell you the answer.

Petey2006

From what you've described, it sounds like he is interested in you too. Guys just don't ask girls 'are you interested in Derek' out of curiosity. He has probably spoken to his friends about it.

If he is a reasonable guy, he'll take it well. One of my best friends recently brought up that she was interested in taking things to the next level. Unfortunately, I just want to remain friends. We talked it out and are still as close as ever. She felt a little awkward for a while, and that's perfectly natural. But nothing bad has come from it.

I think you should talk to him about it. Take him aside, away from everyone else and just tell him how you feel. Be honest with him and dont put any pressure on, and it should be fine. If it works out, and it sounds like he is interested, it could be the greatest thing you've ever done. If he reacts badly, well, how much of a friend is he to you?! But from what you've described, I dont think he'll do that.

Miss Fluff

sallyque wrote:

iThe following week when out his best friend came over to me and asked me if i was interested in derek, i don't know why but i said no.

Did his friend just ask you this out of the blue or is it you had a severe case of mentionitis?

Why don't you ask his mate why he asked you if you like him? Might give you an indication....

LegacyUser

'

Did his friend just ask you this out of the blue or is it you had a severe case of mentionitis?

i had never told anyone that i had feelings for 'derek', it was completely out of the blue.

now unless there is a valid reason why he couldnt - he just didnt want to

nope no reason that i know of, the girl he walked home was going in one direction, me another, he walked her home instead

if he really did like you he would have walked you home

yeah thats why i'm so unsure, the reason i wanted him to was that i had planned on telling him how i felt that night, but when he didn't i started to think maybe i had misread the whole situation '

Black Swan

sallyque wrote:

i had never told anyone that i had feelings for 'derek', it was completely out of the blue.

Is there any way that you can subtly ask derek's friend to see if it was derek that initiated the inquiry? If derek did initiate, and the friend wasn't playing curious or match-maker, then follow up with derek. Keep it simple at first, like "There's this film I am just dying to see, want to go? We could get a bite on the way?" Don't even mention dating or the start of a relationship.