not nice

LegacyUser

hi all not sure what to expect here really but maybe i just need to rant and it will make me feel better.

im a horrible person im always angry im always giving out its like sometimes i can be fine then a little switch goes off in my head and i just explode i really dont know how else to explain it really. i just scream and rant and it doesnt seem like im happy any more i dont feel happy if im frustrated at someone i will just scream and expect that to be it i feel so awful for doing it later on i go back and apologise but if they want to talk about how im feeling i just get annoyed. i sometimes feel like i hate the person. iv had felelings of utter hate towards my boyfriend but sometimes i try to tell him but i dont feel that hes listened to what i said/suggested.

i detest myself for this because im not a horrible person and im not mean just this seems to be controlling my life iand how my feelings can change so quickly. my head is wrecked from it im exhausted because i stay up crying
about this and the mean things iv said to people. im at my wits end i really am iv tried counselling iv tried anger management and hypnotherapy-couldnt afford that for too long. i really dont know what else to do.

i have been depressed before and i dont feel like i used to back then.i really dont know what else i can say i am stressed from college work and finals etc just seeing if anyone can help advise me.

thanks a million

Black Swan

mouldymcmould wrote:

iv tried counselling iv tried anger management and hypnotherapy-couldnt afford that for too long. i really dont know what else to do.

First of all, I would see my GP and attempt to rule out any medical conditions or possible drug reactions (with the pill, or any other medications you may be on)?

Second, I would review my state of physical fitness. Diet and nutrition, vitamins, drinking, smoking, recreational drugs, sleeping patterns, and exercise can all affect behavior.

Third, I would seriously consider joining a fitness group, sport, or even a martial art, that would ensure that I got frequent, strenuous exercise. Maybe a campus SOC to keep costs down?

Heyes

Sounds to me like a slight touch of high blood pressure ( clearly im not a doctor so you need to see them to look into this futher).

I used to be quite snappy and jumpy, and tbh i kinda new it was blood pressure related, i went and got it confirmed, and now i just try and make myself relax if i feel im gonna get a bit jumpy or react in a negative manner. It is not right that you behave how you have been and you need to address it for the people around you and for your own well been and happyness

Miss Fluff

mouldymcmould wrote:

im at my wits end i really am iv tried counselling iv tried anger management and hypnotherapy-couldnt afford that for too long. i really dont know what else to do.

How long for? Did you complete full courses of treatment?

Also, it may be an idea to keep an anger diary and see what triggers these responses. Are there particular times you have this rage? Pre menstrual syndrome can vary wildly in severity, some people can suffer for weeks at a time. Have you seen your GP about this?

jdivision

Caffeine can trigger it in some people as can stress. To be honest OP, I think you may have a few things and so you should talk to your GP. One thing that used to be a negative in my character is that if I was annoyed about something I wouldn't say anything I'd just bottle it up. Eventually it would all come out in a tirade of verbal abuse, often directed at somebody else over something minor. Now if I'm annoyed I let the person know in a polite way. The old days of verbal diatribes have disappeared and my friends would tell you I'm a much happier person and much more relaxed. I would agree that you need to find some relaxation techniques - consider yoga.