if you found out would you be bothered????

easyontheeye

hi,

gents and ladies, how would you feel if you found out how many your partner actually shagged? your with this woman/man a few months now things are going well, serious like. Then the question comes up about the magic number! and it turns out you could make a few rugby teams out of the amount ... a small league you could say. how would you feel?

Backtoblack

Might be a bit worried about STDs alright!

Lust4Life

I already knew how many partners my hubby had before shagging him.

Rabies

I wouldn't ask her how many people she slept with before me unless she wanted to tell me.

5starpool

can of worms tbh

slipss

Lust4Life wrote:

I already knew how many partners my hubby had before shagging him.

Ha, good one.

HammerHeadGym

Don't worry about how many people they shagged before you, just be gald there shagging you now.
Unless they're crap in bed, in which case they are just a skanky whore.

The Sweeper

I could never care less to be honest. One? None? Less than 20? You've lost count?

It's none of my business.

Black Swan

easyontheeye wrote:

Then the question comes up about the magic number! and it turns out you could make a few rugby teams out of the amount ... a small league you could say. how would you feel?

What's the score?

Rabies

depends if she was a hooker or not.

Heyes

I dont think it would bother me tbh, as said above id just be happy that they were with me now rather than worrying about their past

Hagar

It's not about being their first lover, it's about being their last lover.

Willymuncher

Yea I would be bothered, it would eat away at me, but I am a jealous person.

Hagar

Willymuncher wrote:

it would eat away at me

With a nick like that you're just getting what you deserve.:D

WhiteWashMan

wouldnt bother me in the slightest.
in fact, id challenge her to show me something i havent done yet

how many partners you have had doesnt define you.

_blank_

You are not your shag-count.

Terry

Well, I'm a virgin, so my ideal partner would also be a virgin.
It wouldn't really bother me if she wasn't though.

Marksie

easyontheeye wrote:

hi,

gents and ladies, how would you feel if you found out how many your partner actually shagged? your with this woman/man a few months now things are going well, serious like. Then the question comes up about the magic number! and it turns out you could make a few rugby teams out of the amount ... a small league you could say. how would you feel?

Part of the processes i do involves meditation with your partner, discussing both the best and worst times of your past as part of opening to trust. So no it wouldn't bother me at all.

Then again to be honest it would be hypocrytical of me to be like that given that, if we extend your analogy, mine would be all six nations plus referees and linesman.

So my past is my past, same as hers would be. It is not how you previsoulsy expressed youe sexuality..it is how you are expressing it now

Kinetic^

It's irrelevant tbh. The fact that he/she is with you is all that matters.

Overheal

around 50% of the UK is a carrier of the Herpes virus.......




.......what did you think that cold sore was? 100% of the time: its HERPES.

Fact. Wiki it.




Cold sore was just a nice word my stepmother used

justsomebloke

me personally I wouldn't be able to go out with girl that had slept around, I'd just feel that she was a bit of a slapper but that is just my opinion

joejoem

Terry wrote:

Well, I'm a virgin, so my ideal partner would also be a virgin.
It wouldn't really bother me if she wasn't though.

You have excellent taste in women, I love the girl from the cardigans

The_Minister

Terry wrote:

Well, I'm a virgin, so my ideal partner would also be a virgin.

Good for you

Terry

Well, she does have sexy glasses.

Overheal

and herpes.

Splinter

depends if shes learnt from all the blokes/gals.... or if u wanna try something other than monogomy she has loads of friends

Marksie

Overheal wrote:

and herpes.

You keep going on about herpes..trying to tell us something?

Dragan

Can't say as I have ever cared. When I have been asked I have answered honestly, and when the girl offered the info it never got to me.

Your either secure in yourself or your not, simple as.

Marksie

Dragan wrote:

When I have been asked I have answered honestly, and when the girl offered the info it never got to me.

Your either secure in yourself or your not, simple as.

Thats all you can do really Dragan.

Lets face it if you get to the stage with a partner that you are going sexual, the likelihood is that you will have pretty good idea anyway.

If you are both poen about it and accept it..its a really good sign for teh realationship.

If you are jealous about it then you have to ask yourself why you are feeling so insecure that past lovers are upsetting you so much. If somene in the past is making you jealous..then its you who have the problem.

I recall several times men only finding it a problem when their female partner turned out to be more experienced than they were. Ego issues: and especially the double standards that apply.

WWM is right: Bottom line... i would want her to teach me and i would teach her. in fact an experienced woman, who knows her responses can be very exciting because she isn't afraid to tell you and from there you can really springboard into advancing together into unexplored territory.

Tar.Aldarion

One is too many in my eyes.
Anyway, It doesn't matter at all.

WhiteWashMan

jsb wrote:

me personally I wouldn't be able to go out with girl that had slept around, I'd just feel that she was a bit of a slapper but that is just my opinion

which begs the question 'at what point does someone become a slapper?'.

and why is someone a slapper if they hit that magical number?

and why only a bit of a slapper?
surely shed be a complete slapper, or at least, a slapper?

and i assume the same doesnt count for blokes, becuase they should be able to sleep with whomever they wish. right?

I don't really care. I generally know how many/have a fair idea they've slept with and likewise for them. Not a big deal though unless there are some other issues eg insecurity or whatever but that's not the point here so no I don't care

justsomebloke

WhiteWashMan wrote:

and i assume the same doesnt count for blokes, becuase they should be able to sleep with whomever they wish. right?

actually no it would be the same for men (if I was ever inclined to go that way), men are generally bigger slappers then women.

it is just personal choice and it would be part of how I perceive a person. I personally am a bit old fashioned and that you generally believe that having sex is something that you should only share with people that you actually have a close bond with rather then the general one night stand mentality that a lot of people seem to have. So for me if a person had a big sexual background chances are that they wouldn't share what I would find to be a major thing which could be a sticking point in the relationship.

It wouldn't actually be anything to do with jealousy it is just down to personal choice and one of the traits that I would look for in a partner

Marksie

jsb wrote:

it is just personal choice and it would be part of how I perceive a person. I personally am a bit old fashioned and that you generally believe that having sex is something that you should only share with people that you actually have a close bond with rather then the general one night stand mentality that a lot of people seem to have. So for me if a person had a big sexual background chances are that they wouldn't share what I would find to be a major thing which could be a sticking point in the relationship.

I would disagree with that, i form a close bond and don't like one night stands.
It is incorrect to assume that because a woman (or man) has had many partners that they didn't have some measure of caring for them.

But even in one night stands it is quite possible that it was something that an individual goes through to move on to other things.
The whole are of sexuality is very complex and one should avoid excessive generalisations.
It is better to explore ones sexuality fully and openly, in that way understanding of the self becomes much easier. Still, it IS up to the individual, i would not disparage those who select a monogamous lifestyle because they know that is what they want neither would I disparage any who want to enjoy a range of experiences because that is what they want to explore. I would have issue with those who demand that others fit in accepted categories and follow up with name calling.
(JSB: this isn't aimed at you actually, several posters in PI have really labelled other posters. In particular those who tend to watch women in nightclubs then report back how they were all at it and how disgusting it was etc. To me , those doing the watching, making the assumptions would be the one with issues)

DublinWriter

When the numbers go into treble figures, I'd worry.

I heard the Western European average by age 35 is 12, but in Ireland/UK it's closer to 20.

To be honest, it sounds like a lot of obsessing about a physical act to me. If you need to ask the question, it really says more about you than your lover.

Overheal

Well listening to my brother long enough; he will openly admit to 12. Only now has he decided at 20 that he should probably get tested. I asked him why he waited so long and he said its because he only had sex with one girl bare; and she was tested clean.........

..........f*king idiot.

I'm only going on about herpes because its a good example: and I want you to keep it in mind next time you see someone with a cold sore: because they have Herpes.

DublinWriter

Overheal wrote:

I'm only going on about herpes because its a good example: and I want you to keep it in mind next time you see someone with a cold sore: because they have Herpes.

Kewl. Good for you. Now go and learn the differnce between genital Herpes and Herpes Simplex B, the latter you can pick up from kissing your granny on the cheek.

randylonghorn

easyontheeye wrote:

Then the question comes up about the magic number! and it turns out you could make a few rugby teams out of the amount ... a small league you could say. how would you feel?

Well, if she had been taking on the whole rugby team at the same time, I might raise an eyebrow!

Seriously, though, I would be with Rabies / Mark / WWM / MAJD etc. on this ... it's (a) irrelevant and (b) none of my business. I wouldn't ask the question unless she volunteered the information, nor volunteer that information about myself unless she asked.

Would have to think about it anyway ... and no, that's not a boast ... I've just never felt the need to keep score!

And as someone pointed out above, while it IS a very special thing to be someone's first, there is also a lot to be said for being with an experienced woman who knows what she likes, isn't suffering from nerves, etc. Actually, a nervous woman in that situation makes me nervous ... and man + nerves + sex is not the best of combinations!

WhiteWashMan wrote:

which begs the question 'at what point does someone become a slapper?'.

and i assume the same doesnt count for blokes, becuase they should be able to sleep with whomever they wish. right?

Unfortunately, this double standard does still exist, though I think not as strongly as it used to.

Personally, I hate the idea that a man's rep. should go up according to the notches on his bedpost, while a woman's rep. goes down.

Also hate the words "slut" or "slapper" applied to a woman. Admittedly, I suppose I have met one or two to whom those words could be applied ... but it was entirely a matter of attitude, and nothing whatsoever to do with any number.

Alter-Ego

Very little good can come from the question or its answer tbh.