Lacerations - Another Horror Short

Hugh Hefner

So, since late October I've been working on a short horror film. I completed it a few weeks ago and entered it in the Fresh Film Festival, which is a youth film festival.

The short itself is my take on the sadism trend that seems to have arisen in horror films over the last few years. The film starts out slow and people probably won't like most of it but I promise that if you watch long enough you'll at least see some interesting torture.

I realise that there are so very many things wrong with it, most of which are simply up to production values, but since we made it I thought that people should at least get a chance to see it. Also the dialouge is complete ****. I'd appreciate any and all feedback.


Lacerations - Google Video

c - 13

OK - I had a detailed post typed out but I lost it. SO i'm not typing it all again

Overall not bad considering you were working with limited resources, you picked a tough genre to take a spin with unless you have a bucket of cash to spend on blood etc.

Just a couple of points -
(1) There was a terrible echo in the room you were filming in, it makes it hard to hear whats being said a lot of the time

(2) I liked the bit with the chair leg up her skirt, very thoughtful, well done with that. BUT, a small amount of blood on those white socks and on the inside of her thighs would have made a huge impact when it showed her afterwards. It all looked a little clean if you know what I mean.

But other than that fair play, keep it up, hoping to see a few more shorts from you here.

Hugh Hefner

Hmm... yeah, I think a little trickle of blood on her thigh or maybe seeing a drop or two on the seat after she's taken off would have been highly affectual. It's possible that I made the mistake of not fully considering the possibilities of the scene.

mike65

18 mins, this better be good.

Agh the sound! :eek:

Meh. Even non-contexualised violence needs a raison d'etre of some sort. That was a 3 mins scene max. Some greater creative use of sound and vision might have helped a bit. Was the boy meant to be disturbed or just a dumb teen nihilist?

Mike.

Hugh Hefner

Disturbed.

DerekP11

Watching this as a viewer, I assumed the film-makers are young/inexperienced.

Watching it in a professional capacity and ignoring the selfconfessed inadequacies of the maker, I applaud you and say well done for attempting this. It is refreshing to see the younger generation (assumption) getting into horror film-making in Ireland. I have one major gripe. I was filled with anticipation when the leg of the table was placed under the skirt. Very very brave I thought. He takes aim and.......anticlimatic Im afraid and the scene didn't induce any feeling. It was lost. Im being constructive here so stay with me.

The scene was a few shots short in order to put across the horror of what he was doing. As he lined up to take a run at the table, this is what you could've done to really disturb your audience.

Shot 1. He runs towards table.
Shot 2. Close up of girls eyes looking in horror.
Shot 3. track with his feet (handheld of course)
Shot 4. Close up of girls eyes. (screaming)
Shot 5. W/A as you had it with foot lifting to table.
Shot 6. CU of foot slamming against table.
Shot 7. CU of girls eyes bulging with scream as she feels impact.
Shot 8/9. More foot slamming in close up/Girls face/eyes in close up.

etc etc. Visualize and you'll see. I also agree that some blood stains were needed afterwards.

But overall, I still offer hearty congratulations. You took a brave step and should be proud of yourself.

Hugh Hefner

Why thank you. Very nice words.

I'm the one playing the killer in the film. I wanted to make a horror film because that's the genre that I've always felt the most connected to and am most interested in. Basically I wrote the script and then wrangled some friends into playing cameramen for a day, however the actress was really the one I couldn't have done it without. She was cool about it all, even the skirt bit, heh.

I was considering the shots from more of a minimalist point of view as that's how I felt the film should look, though perhaps you are right and I overlooked a chance at a better composed sequence.


On a side note, the festival I mentioned in my opening post has decided not to show my film due to the nature of the subject matter and the nature of their audience (mostly 12-18 years of age). I'm disappointed and if it were my decision (and not my film) I would show it - but I accept their decision and understand their concerns. From what I'm told it was a long discussion that led to their decision and I'm very glad that my film had it's desired impact on any audience at all.

DerekP11

Too bad about the festival. But don't give up on the project. The girls performance was dynamite. If you can manage to shoot some additional footage and drop it in, maybe some tweeking, there are plenty of festivals to enter.

If you don't already know about it, then this linky (given to me by a fellow horror affecionado here) might prove useful to you.

http://www.filmmakersnetwork.ie/forums/index.php

It has info about festivals.

niallon

My criticisim (constructive hopefully!) comes with no credentials behind it, just the opinions of an avid fan of the genre.

First off, highly commendable of you to set out to make this project at all, not enough right minded people doing it nowadays in my opinion. The video is amateur but you've worked hard enough to make it rise above some of the crap that shows up online. You've kept it basic which I loved. The acting was also above par too. Kev, you freaked me out a bit man! Your female lead was very impressive also. In general I quite enjoyed it. At the end of the day, the most I've ever filmed short film wise is opening credits! Maybe a rejig of the table leg as pointed out previously, my biggest request would be more blood. Nice work though.

And as an avid John Carpenter fan, I LOVED the prowling camera in the last 15-20 seconds or so!

Hugh Hefner

Video taken down now. Sorry.

spooky donkey

DAm i missed it, would loved to have a look. If it goes back up let me know, ive been realy busy in these days and im not online as much as id like to be these days.

TerrorFirmer

I just missed it as well...

Hugh Hefner

Well, I don't think that it will be going back up. The girl in it got a little weird about so many people seeing it and asked me to take it down, so I thought I should respect that. It's a terrible pity though.

Fysh

Forgot to comment on this when I first watched it a few days back, but anyway. For a first film it's an admirable effort - some of the production values were lacking but given time and money you'll find ways around that. The performances were good, particularly the girl's. I'd agree that a trickle of blood would've really cemented the final couple of minutes; the lack of any blood made the closing shots a bit lacking in impact, especially after the shot of her face after being cut up.

The only other thing I would've suggested would be some tweaking of the dialogue - your performance as the killer was very good, there was a strong sense of the character being either disturbed or a full-blown psychopath in the vein of Se7en. However, it seemed to end too suddenly for the kind of "work" he seemed to be aiming for - something as simple as a fade to black as he starts cutting her face, with some screams overlaid on a black screen (maybe using some flashes of scenes in which we see her being tortured/cut, or just her crying, still tied to the chair and evidently suffering from what's being done to her), then fading back in to show her at the end of a long ordeal, with him saying something like "We're nearly done now. You didn't think it'd last forever, did you?", would give a greater scope to what he was doing and really reinforce the idea of him being deranged.

Still, that was some nice work especially for a first try. Hope we'll see more from you soon.

niallon

Hugh Hefner wrote:

Well, I don't think that it will be going back up. The girl in it got a little weird about so many people seeing it and asked me to take it down, so I thought I should respect that. It's a terrible pity though.

Sigh, women! Ah no, I guess I can understand where she's coming from. All you need to do now is make another with some lovely legal consent forms!

Tusky

Would have liked to see the film also. I (along with some friends) actually won first place and the audience award at the fresh film festival 3 or 4 years ago. The film wasnt of the horror genre though.

If you can talk the girl into allowing it to be re-uploaded, do! Is she an aspiring actress ? If she is I dont see why she would mind it being shown. If it was shown at the Film Festival 100s of people would have seen it ?

trendkill

Hey man, I only got to see half the movie.. whenever I was watching it i had to dash off.

But .... next time your shooting something, get everyone on the cast and crew to sign release forms e.t.c. Just type it in on google and you'll be able to download them as a Word file. It could possibly be the difference of having a film shown or not shown at a film festival... for example, if your short was accepted into a ffestival, but the Girl didn't want it, it would be at your discretion.... you wouldn't be legallly bound to withdraw it....

But I mean, say in the future with actors that aren't your friends.....