Alternatives To AA

LegacyUser

Does anyone have any alternatives to going to AA - i gave it a go and did find it effective enough but i got sick of listening to all the crap up there regarding people and their **** - u know the sort - my cat died and I want a drink or my husband wouldn't fix the washing machine so I went on the pish. I know its fair enough and that people do address serious problems there too. I'm just of the opinion that **** happens and will always happen in life - DEAL WITH IT. Then the whole "you have to drop all the old friends and get new ones, the old ones didn't really care about you anyway, they're just drink buddies" - is a pile of bollix, most of my friends I've know them since I was in primary and secondary school - long before we ever started boozing - they are not getting dropped. Then there's the whole - you're only cured for today stuff, higher power, god all that stuff - not for me either. Why do I drink - I do it when I'm bored and have nothing else to do. You can't work and go to the gym all day - by 9 o'clock I'm in no mood to read a book, watching the box doesn't always do much for me - my solution -> have a few beers and try to knock myself out so I can go to sleep. My problem is I have too much energy, I can easily get up at 6- go for a run or the gym, go to work and hit the gym again, then at the weekends go for a surf......is this a problem I need to solve - i hope not - lifes short, i'm just trying to fit as much in as I can......so my own solution, have a couple of beers and try and drain the batteries. I considered going to the doctor and trying to get him/her to prescribe me sleeping pills or something but that could be opening up a whole new can of worms. I got around it for a while by joining a club where I'd train there from 9 till 11 hence no booze beforehand and when the club was over the offie was shut.
That had to be hit on the head though as the coming of my second kid required my presence at home in the evenings, getting number 1 off to bed and that too. So now when they're in their beds I get a few cans in. I'm getting the whole you need to go to AA - you have a problem from my parents (my mother was a hard core drinker and used to down about 5 bottles of vodka a week). Thing is i'm in the habit of having a few beers in the evening and I don't like being shackled by that vice.
I did AA for a month and didn't drink - however I went out one night after a meeting and got drunk - hence I feel like i failed it or it failed for me. I did the Allen Carr book and it worked for a month, I went out with friends and got drunk, i've just given up cold turkey before, lasted for a month, went out with friends and got drunk - the month was well boring though, I was just getting into bed at 9 in the evening and trying to sleep. I think the reason the AA didn't work for me was because i wasn't desperate enough - most of the people up there had lost families, jobs, crashed cars - i never let things get that far - maybe i have a problem, maybe I don't - to me the fact that I can't give up booze totally is an indication I do.
The reason I'm writing this is I'm staying in a travel inn in the UK - its a box, on a roundabout on the motorway and i'm bored ****less there, missing my family - last night I went into the pub next door to it and got absolutely ****faced trying to kill time till I go home tomorrow - i'm worried I'll do the same again tonight which has me worrying about my drinking.
Is there any system, program for giving up booze that doesn't go the AA route. Has anyone been here and tried something that worked for them - would yoga or something sort out my excess energy.
Sorry for the rant - it just all came out when I started typing.

tbh

I applaud you for at least trying, and I wish I could give you some practical help, but I don't know enough about the subject luckily (for me). Just one thing tho, something struck me in your post:

booze_hound wrote:

Then the whole "you have to drop all the old friends and get new ones, the old ones didn't really care about you anyway, they're just drink buddies" - is a pile of bollix, most of my friends I've know them since I was in primary and secondary school - long before we ever started boozing - they are not getting dropped.

I did the Allen Carr book and it worked for a month, I went out with friends and got drunk,

i've just given up cold turkey before, lasted for a month, went out with friends and got drunk

now I know you would probably have gotten drunk anyway, but my point is that you havn't seemed to have given AA a chance - do what they say, even if you don't agree with it, and just see what happens. At least you know that not going to AA doesn't work, if you see what I mean. I feel for ya, I really do, and I hope you get yourself sorted.

Degsy

booze_hound wrote:

Does anyone have any alternatives to going to AA - i gave it a go and did find it effective enough but i got sick of listening to all the crap up there regarding people and their **** - u know the sort - my cat died and I want a drink or my husband wouldn't fix the washing machine so I went on the pish. I know its fair enough and that people do address serious problems there too. I'm just of the opinion that **** happens and will always happen in life - DEAL WITH IT. Then the whole "you have to drop all the old friends and get new ones, the old ones didn't really care about you anyway, they're just drink buddies" - is a pile of bollix, most of my friends I've know them since I was in primary and secondary school - long before we ever started boozing - they are not getting dropped. Then there's the whole - you're only cured for today stuff, higher power, god all that stuff - not for me either. Why do I drink - I do it when I'm bored and have nothing else to do. You can't work and go to the gym all day - by 9 o'clock I'm in no mood to read a book, watching the box doesn't always do much for me - my solution -> have a few beers and try to knock myself out so I can go to sleep. My problem is I have too much energy, I can easily get up at 6- go for a run or the gym, go to work and hit the gym again, then at the weekends go for a surf......is this a problem I need to solve - i hope not - lifes short, i'm just trying to fit as much in as I can......so my own solution, have a couple of beers and try and drain the batteries. I considered going to the doctor and trying to get him/her to prescribe me sleeping pills or something but that could be opening up a whole new can of worms. I got around it for a while by joining a club where I'd train there from 9 till 11 hence no booze beforehand and when the club was over the offie was shut.
That had to be hit on the head though as the coming of my second kid required my presence at home in the evenings, getting number 1 off to bed and that too. So now when they're in their beds I get a few cans in. I'm getting the whole you need to go to AA - you have a problem from my parents (my mother was a hard core drinker and used to down about 5 bottles of vodka a week). Thing is i'm in the habit of having a few beers in the evening and I don't like being shackled by that vice.
I did AA for a month and didn't drink - however I went out one night after a meeting and got drunk - hence I feel like i failed it or it failed for me. I did the Allen Carr book and it worked for a month, I went out with friends and got drunk, i've just given up cold turkey before, lasted for a month, went out with friends and got drunk - the month was well boring though, I was just getting into bed at 9 in the evening and trying to sleep. I think the reason the AA didn't work for me was because i wasn't desperate enough - most of the people up there had lost families, jobs, crashed cars - i never let things get that far - maybe i have a problem, maybe I don't - to me the fact that I can't give up booze totally is an indication I do.
The reason I'm writing this is I'm staying in a travel inn in the UK - its a box, on a roundabout on the motorway and i'm bored ****less there, missing my family - last night I went into the pub next door to it and got absolutely ****faced trying to kill time till I go home tomorrow - i'm worried I'll do the same again tonight which has me worrying about my drinking.
Is there any system, program for giving up booze that doesn't go the AA route. Has anyone been here and tried something that worked for them - would yoga or something sort out my excess energy.
Sorry for the rant - it just all came out when I started typing.

I dont know how much time you have but its not a bad idea to join a gym.You can burn up the excess calories as well as your excess energy in a very enjoyable way.Okay,it wont seem enjoyable at first but if you stick with it and set yourself some goals,you'll feel great as you get fitter and healthier.It also has the benifit of improving your sleep patterns as you'd normaly be really tired after a session and will just want to go to bed without drinking,it worked for me.

LegacyUser

re-read the post - i'm in two gyms as it is - one close to work and one close to home - my point is that I drink when I have nothing to do to keep me active - I can't exercise all day - believe me I've tried - run at 6 in the morning - 7 mile cycle to work, 2 mile cycle to swimming pool at lunch time, swim a couple of k, 7 mile cycle home in the evening and sometimes up the gym for weights in the evening - now i've eased off on that but would find myself in the gym or running most days. I can't sit down thats my problem and the solution i've come up with to overcome this is a couple of beers as it switches the mind off. Before I could go out and do stuff at night - now with the wife and kids I can go nowhere

Maybe poster above is right regarding i didn't give AA a chance - i hate failing and i feel like i failed the first time around. They tell you up there though to get a meeting in everyday - i did it for a month but even then by the end of it I was going "what the hell am i doing here".

tbh

booze_hound wrote:

re-read the post - i'm in two gyms as it is - one close to work and one close to home - my point is that I drink when I have nothing to do to keep me active - I can't exercise all day - believe me I've tried - run at 6 in the morning - 7 mile cycle to work, 2 mile cycle to swimming pool at lunch time, swim a couple of k, 7 mile cycle home in the evening and sometimes up the gym for weights in the evening - now i've eased off on that but would find myself in the gym or running most days. I can't sit down thats my problem and the solution i've come up with to overcome this is a couple of beers as it switches the mind off. Before I could go out and do stuff at night - now with the wife and kids I can go nowhere

Maybe poster above is right regarding i didn't give AA a chance - i hate failing and i feel like i failed the first time around. They tell you up there though to get a meeting in everyday - i did it for a month but even then by the end of it I was going "what the hell am i doing here".

don't think of it as tho you've failed it once, think of it as an ongoing process - maybe you won't succeed till the seventh or eighth time, but to get there you have to go through the second, third or fourth times, getting closer all the time. All those activities seem pretty solitary too, I'd have thought having two kids would knacker most people tbh.

Odysseus

Yes there are a few alternatives to AA, bth the people who end up in AA rooms, don't usually end up their by mistake. Firstly, you need to explore fully your reasons for drinking, just being bored doesn't hack it. You could find a CBT therapist would is prepared to do a controlled drinking programme with you, this may or may not work. This will involve a close examination of your lifestyle, and developing skills to reduce the amount of alcohol you drink, as well as the nights you drink it on. It is more successful with problem drinkers rather than alcoholics, only you can decide if you the later.

Generally, a lot of people have to try AA a few times, and as you will be aware, the aim is to focus on the similarites, not the differences, in other words take what is helpful to you on that given day, and leave the rest, it may be useful at a later stage, or maybe never. A month off the drink is great, but why not try the usual 90 meetings in 90 days, if you find you dislike the content of a particular meeting, go to a different one.

Best of luck with it.

LegacyUser

'Yeah, I gave it a go but couldnt reconcile with the whole 'put your faith in a higher power' malarky. I dont and never did believe in a higher power, be it god, buddha or darwin but they kept on at me about til I just got sick and tired and left. I also was pretty bored listening to, as the OP says, other peoples problems. I am not the most empathic of people and some of the ****e that people came out with was pathetic. I know why I am a drunk and emotionless now as I went to a lot of private counselling which whilst expensive, worked for me in the end (as in I can function without getting locked - I am and alway will be an alcoholic). The counsellor said tha that a lot of people with alcoholism also have several other problems concurrent with their drinking and a lot of the time a cause of it as well. I couldnt sit and listen to aunt betty going on about how she downed two bottles of sherry because she didnt like being 60 or how 'dave' or 'rob' couldnt go out on a sunday after the match without getting sozzled. I wasnt interested nor was I interested in the happy clappiness that went along with it. I'm very cynical by nature though.

Dont get me wrong, I am not knocking AA, just think its not for everyone especially if you have other problems like I did as well?'

LegacyUser

'Hi OP,
I don't know if this will be any help at all, But there is a support group in the States called Moderation Management, tbh I don't know much about it, I just remembered reading an article about it in the times or the independent a few years back. I think it was set up by an ex AA person who found AA wasn't for them

I know its probably a long shot but there may be something like that in Ireland that you could look into.

Best of Luck'