Falling for a good friend.

LegacyUser

I have an issue right now that more than anything I need advise on and comments.

I have a good female friend whom I met last year via other friends. At first I didn't notice her as I did in the coming months when we would be around the same group of people. At this stage I hardly knew her, but we got talking and got to know each other better. Within the period of then and today we have met to go places and generally have a talk, but I started to notice earlier on this great feeling towards her. She made me feel great and I would happily spend days with her if I could, as the hours would fly by anyway.

I came honest towards her one day and while she said she liked me, she didn't want anything like a relationship.
Ever since that day I have felt that we have, as friends slightly grown apart every week.
While I felt slightly disappointed at what I said, I still feel the same way for her right now and I'm afraid that if I let her know again, that we will grow apart even further to the degree where we don't talk for weeks.
I occupy my days with work and things to do, but every so often I think about her and if she is ok. I would know she is ok, but still the though comes into my head.
I would be the type to ring and txt, but over the last while I feel like I'm being intrusive towards her and quite possibly annoying her.

I'm not sure whether I should tell her again and see what happens.

humanji

Basically, you don't stand a chance. She doesn't want to go out with you and you pretty much damaged your relationship with her by bringing it up the first time. Doing so again will have no real positive effects. It's not what you want to hear, but just let it go.

AnonoBoy

Although Humanji has stated it pretty bluntly I'd have to agree with him.

She knows how you feel and believe me she most likely knows that those feelings aren't going away anytime soon.

If she wants to get into a relationship with you the ball is in her court.

It will drive her away completely if you keep bringing it up. So don't. For both your sakes.

Sir Oxman

Leave it be. I agree with them ^

susanna

Definitely leave it be, there's nothing more you can do now. I know its not what you want to hear but you need to forget about having a relationship with her

Black Swan

Fallingforher wrote:

I came honest towards her one day and while she said she liked me, she didn't want anything like a relationship.
Ever since that day I have felt that we have, as friends slightly grown apart every week.

Friendships are precious. Don't ruin one trying for a relationship she obviously doesn't want.

Ruu_Old

Agreed with the others, try to rebuild your friendship.

b3t4

As others have said, leave things be.

Your friendship is going through a time of adjustment and will get back on it's feet if you let it.

She is currently giving you space so that you can get over how you feel. If she had of remained as friendly as she was previously with you it would probably have made you even more lovestruck and could potentially have ruined the friendship altogether.

Given time and you backing off for a little while yeer friendship will become what it once was.

A.

Tar.Aldarion

From experience, let her go. Falling for a friend leads to the worst experiences I can think of, lost somebody I think of like a sister the same way last year.
You will lose her as a friend if she does not like you like that and you can't drop it.

Tar.Aldarion

From experience, let her go. Falling for a friend leads to the worst experiences I can think of, lost somebody I still love like a sister the same way last year.
You will lose her as a friend if she does not like you like that and you can't drop it.

tba

Most people have suffered this, unfortunately what you need to do is not talk to her until you can stop thinking about her. (be prepared to wait forever too)

Its very much like ending a relationship, some might say this is madness, but close friends and partners have a lot in common.

I feel really bad for you but I will say I empathise greatly

LegacyUser

Leave well enough alone. I ended up with my best mate at uni one night when we were both merry and it more or less ended our very close friendship. Neither of us should have gone there but we did. I don't ever hear from him now and its sad.

limklad

You told her how you feel and she made her feeling known to you. Since her answer is NO, and if you really care for her, then you let her go.

If it was vice versa, how would like her to treat you. How do you think, she feels if you keep bothering her.

Let her go.

Red Alert

First of all, well done for telling her how you feel. It's not an easy thing to do at all with people you're friends with.

The girl has said she didn't want a relationship, but obviously still would like a friendship. Do you want to stay friends with her, now that you have your answer about a relationship? To ask a question like that again without a big change in overall circumstances might tell her you are not listening to her.