Really confused

paulac

Hi, I'm not really sure what I need. I was hoping that someone can relate to me and give me a pointer or some advice. I'm 22 and for the last few months to a year, all I've been thinking about is witches, magic, candles and the moon. I have weird dreams about this kind of thing and they seem so real as though it was another life.

I have a longing or aching feeling in my chest whenever I think about it but I don't know what this means. I remember as a child bout 6 or 7!) telling my friends that I was a witch and I remember I was happy but my dad made it obvious he wasn't impressed so I kinda forgot about it until now.

I have tarot cards that my nana gave me but I haven't used them. For some reason I'd love to talk to my mam about this but she died a few years ago, I just think that she would have understood.

I feel like there is something huge missing from my life and I just don't know where to start looking. Can anyone help me?

Paula

Nevyn

Hi Paula,
sorry to hear that you lost you mother and miss her so.

I would suggest that you get reading, go into a library or have a look on line
or at any of the links in the stickes here and see what strikes your intrest and follow your insticts.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

he is called jesus, let him into your heart

Nevyn

Oh dear Mordy you know better then that.

Rule 5 of the charter clearly states

# No prosyletising. Anyone trying to convert anyone to anything will be immediately banned.

You are banned.

Tim Robbins

I would say read and question as much as you can. Also loads of good video links on web if you have broadband.

Here's a link to a collection of intellectuals talking about some of the big questions:

www.meaningoflife.tv

End of the day, it's your decision and your life.
Be happy.

scorplett

Paula,
Thank you for your honest post... You echo many things that were very common on my journey...
I remember doing things like blurting statements of what I was at a young age, not knowing what that meant or where it was coming from. Having the yearning aching feeling, the dreams and all of that seemed to be fuel to the fire for me and started and long journey to understanding me.
The important thing to remember is that it is an inner journey, but that does not mean that you are alone. There is nothing wrong with that ache inside and infact that can give a greater sense of rightness in questioning and seeking whatever it is that you need.
You do seem to have a deep sense of where you want to look but dont fear going where your heart takes you. As others have said, question, read, learn and explore all that you can, there is no hurry and experiances you have along the way and the things you may learn can only add to who you are.
If your grandmother gave you a tarot deck, look at them, they may help you. You dont need to be taught tarot or know what the book says the meaning is in order to use them. Even if its just looking at the pictures, just like you would if they were old photos of your family or the things and places you have seen, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the gift your grandmother gave you, that said, if you really dont feel any connection to them it does not mean you are dishonouring your grandmother.
Dreamtime can be very usefull when discovering more about yourself and the things, people and events about you. You could take a dream journal and look to start guiding your dreams into the places you want to know more about, maybe even connecting to your mother...
The only limits on seeking these things is your own wants and needs... But again, as others have said, there is so much information out there, on the web, in books etc there are plenty of people here and on other internet sites and forums that can give pointers and that can be a minefield... so go easy, take your time and live the life you have
Best of luck
BB