Think I'm gonna meet the Fockers! Advice please

Elphaba

Hi guys,
I've been goin out with someone for a good few months now. and I'm
absolutely mad about him. I've never met his family as we spend most our time at mine, as I've moved out of the family home and he hasn't. Anyway we're going out this Fri over near where he lives so I've a feeling it might turn into a Meet the Fockers occasion and was just wondering if anyone had any advice? It's his mam and older brother. I know they're only people and I probably sound silly but it's just important to me cos I like him so much.
Any advice will be much appreciated!:o

Rabies

As eveyone else is going to say, just be yourself.

edit:
see, I was right

r3nu4l

Be yourself

That's all there is to it. He obviously likes you and you like him so just be who you are and they'll see the reason why he likes you

Here's some tips if you really want them.
Just wear what you normally wear, don't go over the top dressing up in something that you don't feel comfortable in or wouldn't normally wear.
If you don't wear make-up all the time then don't put on make-up just for this occassion. Don't go getting your hair done for the occassion.
Make some effort but don't go OTT

loismustdie

as cliched as it sounds just be yourself. read the paper that day and pick out a few topics you could talk about, that you have an opinion or something interesting to say. Don't rehearse a apeech though or talk about anything too heavy. have a drink or too to settle your nerves but not too many that your thongue is too loose.

Elphaba

Thanks. I do just get a bit shy sometimes and my stomach is in absolute knots now thinkin about it. I know it's ridiculous. Ridiculously stupid but I still can't make myself be laid back about it!

r3nu4l

Just remember that his mother will be nervous to some extent too She will want to like you because her son likes you.

So long as you don't come across as someone who is going to break his heart or walk all over him his Mammy will be happy

Elphaba

Yeah i guess so. He's met my parents and they like him but then all they want is for me to be happy. They know he treats me like a princess so obviously they like him.

Femelade

I feel your pain! i'm going out with my boyfriend with 6 months, he is the youngest and the only boy, and the only one at home wit mammy. i've met one sister, but the mother will be a big problem, she doesnt like her boy going out with a single mother.

I was very nervous meeting the sister, as he is closest to her. We went to her house for dinner, i just tried to be myself, which is normally very shy around people i dont know, but my boyfriend was right there with me to make me feel at ease, which i'm sure your boyfriend will do the same.

Best of luck!

Just Be Yourself and i'm sure it will be fine!

galah

just avoid a couple of certain topics - religion, for one (especially if you're of a different religious group, or in my case, a heathen (God forbid! That was a bit of a tough one, since my boyfriend's parents are very devoted Catholics, and things like saying 'Grace' could have turned nasty if it hadn't been for my mumbling skills ;-)), and maybe politics...Oh, and don't mention any of the good old 'party' topics like abortion, the death penalty, and such like...Save them for Christmas dinner after a few drinks ;-)

Apart from that - just be yourself, and you'll be grand. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? ;-)

Elphaba

Yeah I know, it'll probably be just calling into the house for a few minutes really, cos we're goin for dinner at 8 so we can't be hangin around or anything. Thank God! Once the first time is over I dont think I'll mind as much. It's just the initial thing that's scary. I still feel stupid every time I post on this topic cos I'm aware how simple I must seem to the reading public!

Miss Fluff

Don't drink anything beforehand and don't build it up into something it's not, they are only people. AND if his mum produced someone as fabulous as your boyfriend then she must be fabulous too.:)

NextSteps

Get your boyfriend to describe them to you first, so you don't get a shock if there's something really odd about them. Find out if there are any things you shouldn't mention (his sister's peg leg, for instance).

Elphaba

UB wrote:

Get your boyfriend to describe them to you first, so you don't get a shock if there's something really odd about them. Find out if there are any things you shouldn't mention (his sister's peg leg, for instance).

Ha ha I don't think there's any peg legs in the house! Well, fingers crossed anyway.

Miss Fluff that's a good way to look at it!;)

flogen

Same as above:

Be yourself - it worked for your bf and acting as someone your not will only make you look wierd (and will cause trouble down the line).
Don't drink - simple really.
Don't talk about anything heavy - it's all about the simple small talk!
Be careful not to over-talk - something I've done in the past when nervous, just start rambling on. This often happens when I read into a minute reaction too much and start trying to explain myself or go on too much because I think I've said something I shouldn't have. It's good to be chatty, but coming on too strong is worse than complete silence IMO.
Put it into context - they're just people, and assuming you consider your BF a friend too there's no reason why this has to be any more traumatic than meeting a friends family for the first time.

Oh, and remember how lucky you are being the female in the relationship! While there's always the chance of his mammy being a bit protective, it sure as hell beats going into a room full of a protective father and his sons!

Elphaba

flogen wrote:

Oh, and remember how lucky you are being the female in the relationship! While there's always the chance of his mammy being a bit protective, it sure as hell beats going into a room full of a protective father and his sons!

Well that's just made my day! Thanks! My Da is real laid back and friendly and no one would be scared of him but the boyf didn't know that before he met him so I suppose I do have it easier!