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GF showing lack of ambition

  • 11-02-2007 11:13pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Bit of a problem.

    Going out with my girlfriend about 3 years now something is starting to get to me.

    She just has no ambition in life at all. Always wants to take the easy route and only betters herself if i really really encourage her.

    All she does is go to work and come home day in day out, she has no hobbies, does no excercise, just watches tv.

    We were offered to go on a brilliant RTW trip and she just immediately dismissed it for no reason, actually her reason was " a year is to long". So instead shes goin to work her dead end job for the rest of her life.

    For holiday this year, i sugggested we go somewhere far afield, maybe south america or something, but no she just wants to go to Spain.

    Dont get me wrong, shes a great person and i love her, but this is really starting to piss me of. Im really ambitious adventures person and want to get as much out of life as possible, but shes the opposite.

    What do yous think?


Comments

  • #2
    dame
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,623 ✭✭✭dame


    Maybe she's depressed, or maybe she's scared of anything new, or maybe you just need to face the fact that maybe you're not actually that compatible after all, now that the "honeymoon period" is over. If you're not happy with this life now, imagine how dissatisfied you'd be in ten years time with kids and a mortgage and not having seen the world or done anything exciting.

    You need to have a very serious discussion with her but if she's dictating everything in your relationship (sounds like she is), and is unwilling to even compromise on a shorter trip or different holiday destination even....then you should finish with her and move on.


  • #3
    chuci
    Closed Accounts Posts: 938 ✭✭✭chuci


    dame wrote:
    Maybe she's depressed, or maybe she's scared of anything new, or maybe you just need to face the fact that maybe you're not actually that compatible after all, now that the "honeymoon period" is over. If you're not happy with this life now, imagine how dissatisfied you'd be in ten years time with kids and a mortgage and not having seen the world or done anything exciting.

    You need to have a very serious discussion with her but if she's dictating everything in your relationship (sounds like she is), and is unwilling to even compromise on a shorter trip or different holiday destination even....then you should finish with her and move on.

    good ponts above. talk to her tell her how your feeling and what basically you want out of life ant this relationship shouldnt be too hard if ye have been going out 3 years if you and her both want different things then maybe you are not so well suited. good luck


  • #4
    Sangre
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,186 ✭✭✭✭Sangre


    Maybe shes happy with her life and you're unhappy in yours.


  • #5
    Red Hand
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Red Hand


    Agree with Dame. If you are unsatisfied with elements of your relationship and how to spend the time you have together doing holidays and stuff, then talk to her.


  • #6
    BeardyGit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,946 ✭✭✭BeardyGit


    Don't expect her to change her outlook on life or develop driving ambition, just because you give her a bit of encouragement and wish she was more motivated. To me, she sounds quite content with her lot, happy to go through each day as it comes with minimal stress and she probably quite likes the routine. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with that, for her.

    Don't make this about her - It's ALL about you kiddo. YOU are the one coming here to bitch and moan about your girlfriend, and how she's holding you back. It's YOU who wants the Round The World trip, not her. It's YOU who wants the adventure, the break from the norm, the end to the routine, NOT her.

    All YOU.

    Nothing wrong with that mate, but leave her out of it for a minute, or perhaps for a lot longer if that's what you really need. Decide whether or not you can accomplish what you want in life with her as your partner. If you can't, or feel you'll be 'held back' by her in some way, you owe it to yourself (and her) to get a move on and strike out on your own.

    Really though, don't try to make this out to be a problem with her - It's not. She's happy with what she has in life - You're not. That makes this entirely YOUR problem to deal with, and you'll never manage to do that if you start blaming others around you for your own failure to take action.


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