Time to say "adios"??

Pixie4

Hello all,

just want an objective view on a situation that I'm in at the moment. Short version-met a guy last summer, we started seeing each other, long distance relationship. As always things were great at the start, he was kind, attentive blah blah, talked about me moving to where he lives...basically all rosey in the garden.

Fast forward to just before Xmas-I had planned a weekend for us, got tickets to a concert etc but he turned up in bad form. I questioned him (as women do!) but got nowhere. It resulted in an argument (not a screaming match or anything) and he left the hotel and went home leaving me there!!

Rang then, all sorry, said he wasn't sure if he wanted to get into a relationship right now-he was badly burned by his last one-but said he wanted to give it another shot. New years was a disaster, he sat watching the tv for four days in foul form with me and I hadn't done anything...I know he gets very depressed but I can't seem to pull him out of it whatever I do.

So heres my dilemma, seeing a guy who basically turns hot and cold in an instant and I get the brunt of it. I do obviously like him but is it time to get out?? All suggestions and opinions really appreciated......

Catari Jaguar

Tell him to hit the road. He needs to get over his ex, grow up and learn how to be a decent, mature person before he even contemplates having a girlfriend. :mad:

He doesn't deserve you. You sound thoughtful and make an effort: hotel, tickets etc. Get someone who appreciates you.

And you prob like him so much because he's an ass. Treat ya mean, keep ya keen and all that sh1t. :rolleyes:

free2fly

Only you can decide if it is time to get out or not. If you aren't happy then then get out. If he isn't willing to talk to you about it or compromise, then there really isn't much you can do about it.

Ruu_Old

Bring it up that you are tired of making the effort and that it is looking one sided. You probably deserve better and should move on with your life as it is you making the effort. If you see no future anymore then get out of it.

Pixie4

Thanks for the replies all . Just to say Ruu I have tried to explain to him many times that I can't be the only one putting the effort in and when I ask him what he wants from the relationship the answer is always "I don't know". I feel like I'm banging my head off a brick wall. He can be high as a kite and all lovey dovey one minute and then one little thing sets him off and theres no talking to him....

I_and_I

Sounds like a smoker to me.

the_syco

Sounds like you now know why he got burnt last time.

Black Swan

Pixie4 wrote:

he wasn't sure if he wanted to get into a relationship right now-he was badly burned by his last one-but said he wanted to give it another shot.

OK, then why not date without commitment? If that doesn't work for you or him, then you have a decision to make?

Beruthiel

Pixie4 wrote:

Fast forward to just before Xmas-I had planned a weekend for us, got tickets to a concert etc but he turned up in bad form. I questioned him (as women do!) but got nowhere. It resulted in an argument (not a screaming match or anything) and he left the hotel and went home leaving me there!!

New years was a disaster, he sat watching the tv for four days in foul form with me and I hadn't done anything

I for one would not entertain someone who behaves like the above. Being depressed is no excuse for such bad mannered behaviour.
You go to the trouble of setting up a nice weekend away for him and he behaves like a 10 year old.
Sorry, but there are plenty of men out there who know how to appreciate someone who goes to that effort.
Why would you be arsed with someone who clearly couldn't?

Miss Fluff

Pixie4 wrote:

Thanks for the replies all . I have tried to explain to him many times that I can't be the only one putting the effort in and when I ask him what he wants from the relationship the answer is always "I don't know".

Hate to say it Pixie4 but this relationship is not what he wants and unfortunately he is just behaving like a spineless oaf until he pushes you far enough to dump him because he simply is lacking in any substance in the testicular region.

Save yourself more hassle girl and just dump him, if he cares about you he'll fight for you and to be honest he sounds WAY to self-absorbed for that.

You deserve more girl, tell him to **** off.

davyjose

You say he doesn't know what he wants - well what do you want? I can't believe it includes this loser. So you make up your mind, and then he doesn't have to worry about 'knowing what he wants' :rolleyes: -him -you

Pixie4

Once again thanks to all who offered advice, its amazing how other people's perspectives makes you cop on. Just a quick update on the situation-he rang last night and was in pretty good form. I happened to have a CD playing in the background when he rang, now in fairness it wasn't even loud. He asked me to turn it off so I was getting up to go across the room to do that but he hung up 'cos I wasn't doing it fast enough.

About a half hour later I got a text saying its "probably best if we just leave things, its not really going anywhere is it?" This didn't surprise or upset me in the least 'cos I've received so many similar texts before out of the blue like that and when everything is fine only for him to turn around the following day and say "we should give it another go".

This time however I didn't ring him back, just texted him back saying that I was happy for it to end....no reply since.....