Girlfriend Problems

LegacyUser

Right thing is ive been going out with my girlfriend on/off for 3 years (mostly on) But for the last month or so im not really sure if its what i want anymore. I still love her but im beginning to think its just as a friend and not as a boyfriend anymore. She can be a very insecure and down person at times and i feel i spend most of my time with her trying to cheer her up and make her happy and to be honest im tired of it. We see each other every day bar weekends as we both go to college in the same city, we practically live with each other aswell. So maybe thats the problem too.

Im thinking of telling her we need a break but the thing is the last time we went on a break (for about 2 months last summer) i was the one who initiated us getting back together, so im slightly confussed if i was the one who wanted her back why am i feeling like this now! Maybe the relationship has run its course. I know it will break her heart if i say i need a break but maybe its for the best.
Any opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Rad

humanji

Well, you've got to talk to her. If you're having doubts about the relationship, but unsure if you want to break up, then it's worth trying to patch things up.

Maybe tell her pretty much what you said in the first paragraph, that you're not really getting anything out of the relationship, and feel that you're the one doing all the work?

little lady

Why not try cutting down on the amount of time you spend together during the week. Sometimes you can get into a routine of when you see eachother and what you do and that can get boring. Even if you go out (or stay in) with your mates without her one or two days a week, it will give you a break from her. I know you don't see her at the weekends but that is due to circumstances and not by choice.

It might give you a chance to decide if you really want to break up with her or if you just need some "me time".

Beelzebub

Great advice from little lady!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder!

Chimpanzee-that

You make the relationship sound as if its all one way...

You always having to cheer her up..

If thats the case its a bit unfair cause its clearly getting you down.
Obviously you should tell her bout this but also if you really think you only love her as a friend it may be time to call it a day.

Black Swan

Have you had a heart-to-heart talk with her about this? You should.

Miss Fluff

Rad wrote:

I know it will break her heart if i say i need a break but maybe its for the best.

You'll end up very bloody bitter if you stay with someone out of sympathy.

Don't be cruel either though. If you dump her again, don't go begging her to be taken back again. That isn't fair and will only mess with her head. If you do break up make a clean break of it and let her get on with things.

shapez

Key thing here - Communication!!

Talk to one and other. Explain how you feel. And LISTEN to what she has to say.
If your heart is not in it, then you should make the decision.

kaalgat

Beelzebub wrote:

Great advice from little lady!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder!

I agree. Try slowing down a bit first before you break it off altogether

Kell

Rad wrote:

i feel i spend most of my time with her trying to cheer her up and make her happy and to be honest im tired of it.

:rolleyes:

Rad wrote:

I was the one who initiated us getting back together

:rolleyes:

Rad wrote:

I know it will break her heart if i say i need a break

She is just as much of an emotional crutch for you as you are for her. Grow a spine and part ways. Never is going to be a good time to split so you can wander around for the next two years with your head up your rear going nowhere in the dark or admit to yourself that you are equally to blame for your predicament and end things.

Bah- I hate these "my relationship is in the gícker but I dont have the spine to do the right thing by everyone" posts. :mad:

K-

comewatmay

if ye already have been on a break for 2 months last summer obviously things arent working out for you guys and you need to move on.A break simply means i wana break up but dont have the balls to do it.Just let her go and move on