when is it "normal" to say i love you?

LegacyUser

hey when do you think it's a normal time to say i love you? i feel like i love my girlfriend, but we've only been together for one month!? am i crazy? In your experience when should you say i love you?

Victor

when is it "normal" to say i love you?

It is normal to say "I love you" when you love someone and that statement isn't likely to come across as a little too heavy.

Many people would be of the opinion that one month would be too soon.

The cynics.

biko

Maybe ease into it with "I really like you... a lot", "You are a fantastic person", "I love doing things with you" etc

ARGINITE

When ever it feels right to you and that you feel that the other person won't freak out.
Their is no set time period.

walrusgumble

and do it when both of ye are sober or at least not hammered/off your face.

Ruu_Old

ARGINITE wrote:

When ever it feels right to you and that you feel that the other person won't freak out.
Their is no set time period.

Yep, spot on here. You'll know yourself when is right. No one here is going to be able to help you much on that.

biko

biko wrote:

Maybe ease into it with "I really like you... a lot", "You are a fantastic person", "I love doing things with you" etc

Yeah if you can grab their full attention and say that, and they don't freak out, it's fine

Nevyn

It depends on the person, I am a lot more likely to say 'I hate you ' first.

hunnymonster

say it when you do love them, not lust or infatuation or just phermones going wild.

BaZmO*

15 years, and even then you have to have had about 12 pints.

Black Jack

just say when it comes to your lips, dont think

your thinking too much,

if u feel , then go with that, your just being honest and true to yourself

jellie

how about telling her youre falling in love with her rather than actually saying i love you? its a bit less likely to freak her out but still shows her you care a lot.

theres the whole "if you feel it say it" angle, but if shes not there yet it might freak her out a little after a month

BoozyBabe

Myself & the bf said it somewhere round the 4-6 week mark.
(Long history etc, but I knew it even before then, but like you, didn't want to say it too soon)

That was definitely the right time for us, & 16 months on, still as madly in love as ever.

If the moment arrives & it feels right, just say it.

LegacyUser

It's easier to say something but harder to do it...

my point is, don't say i love you if you can't live up to it...

Catari Jaguar

Hmm... right now is the infatuation stage where they're always on your mind and it hurts like hell to be apart.

This probably isn't love yet. And that *about to burst* feeling only lasts about 8 months anyways

You can tell if the other person is in love by their eyes, if they sparkle or soften. And you get a kinda spot between your eyes and you have to rest your forehead against theirs n feel kinda sleepy n fuzzy... I thought I was only one who felt that, but all my friends have too. I call it "schmushy eyes" it's a dead give away!

If you KNOW she loves you deep down, you can tell her. But you have to be sure yourself. It'll prob be reeeeally hard to do, so good luck!

Black Swan

My Da once said... (not sure if original to him or if he borrowed it):
"To be, you must be, before you be." Show the love you feel for your g/f in all the little daily ways. Don't make a big production of it. The words will come naturally later in their own time.

shapez

iloveyoubutwhen wrote:

hey when do you think it's a normal time to say i love you? i feel like i love my girlfriend, but we've only been together for one month!? am i crazy? In your experience when should you say i love you?

This is absurd!! And some of the replys to this are absurd also. A couple are spot on.

I mean how can you justify putting a time on love??

You don't think you love someone either!! You feel it!! With heart and soul.

And we wonder, why people take it so much for granted these days!! :rolleyes:

dvega

A month is a bit soon,even if you do love her give it another bit of time or maybe say it at a special occasion,i.e dinner,night out etc.
All depence how she feels too,you dont want to frighten her away..

kaalgat

One month is a bit soon.

Maybe start with something like "I'm mad about you" or "I'm crazy about you".

You don't want to scare her off

[Jackass]

My Girlfriend told me she loved me after about 3 months...I know that I love her now, we're together 6 months, but at the time I thought it was a bit soon, I felt I loved her but since I had never said it to anyone before and it was never said to me it felt a bit strange, but I liked saying it back and I'm madly in love with her now

I'd start with "I'm crazy about you" and "I've never met anyone like you, you mean the world to me" ... as long as it's true of course, and see how she reacts to those and then gradually I think it'll come naturaly. Best of luck with it.

LegacyUser

i have got to ask whats the rush with saying "I love you"? Like seriously, what is the rush? Just chill and relax...i've felt feelings of infatuation before like I do in my current relationship for example...99% of other people would have said "I love you" by now in my current situation by the looks of things but seriously, what is the rush? Keep it in for as long as it takes i say.

af_thefragile

I usually started of by saying "i like you" and "i really like you..." Its much more easier to say then "i love you" and it doesnt even come heavy on her. And i only said it cuz i really meant it, now to get close to her.

For me, relationships just sorta happen, we both are close, then over time we both start to like eachother and soon before we know it, we're in love! Thats how both my relationships started.
So its like when i used to say to her that i really like her, i really meant it and i was pretty sure she liked me too and i always got back the same reply from her. Then when i realised we were in love, i told her i love her and i again really meant it and i got back the same reply from her without any hesitation!!

The point is, just wait! Just wait till you feel its the right time to say the words. Once you're sure its exactly the right time and u're pretty sure u're gonna get back the same reply, ONLY then go for it!!! Thats how i do it!

Or another safe way is to say "i love you" in a joking way so that she gets a lil confused if u just said it as a joke or u really meant it. That could work too!

You seriously dont need to rush into saying those words. They dont usually make a big difference if the love is already there. But those words can mess things up when the love is not yet there between the two of you. So just be careful while using those words for the 1st time. Its always best to wait before u go for it.

Pigman II

Say it whenever you feel it. If however you find yourself blurting it out and the facial reaction of your beloved is clearly not favourable the just quickly qualify the statement with:

"I love U ..... 2! Eh, Bono really has a great voice and everytime I see his face on the cover of TIME magazine it makes me want to be a better person!"

Of course if you *don't* actually love U2 this could give rise to another problem and you may have some explaining to do next time she visits and finds none of their work on your CD shelves.

However this in turn can also be fixed with a quick visit to amazon. Order the early stuff up to Achtung Baby and maybe a couple of the newer albums which you will now pass off as poor impulse purchases motivated mainly by nostalgia and misplaced hope.

Good luck!

hullaballoo

After me and my (now ex-) girlfriend had been together for a month, we had a massive massive fight one night (Valentine's night, I think).

She was roaring shouting at me, and I couldn't understand why. I hadn't actually done anything. She was keeping schtum about what it was that I'd done too.

Eventually, I snapped and said, "look, what the fcuk's your problem, I just cooked you dinner and it's not exactly if I've done anything wrong, but you're flying off the handle!?"

Her: "Because I fcuking love you, you asshole!"

I'm not suggesting that's the way to go about it, but the point is that it was the most natural time for her to say it. It just came out. Needless to say I was stunned, but I knew it was the right time. We were together for four years, and the love never went away. Only the friendship dwindled.

LegacyUser

i think a good way to test the water is just say I'm mad about you or something and see if she says the same back..

but then again I wouldn't really take my advice, I feel like saying I love you sometimes after a week.. I know it's because I'm immature but one time the girlfriend said it after a week and then that opened the door for me to start spouting all that stuff. Not surprisingly, it all ended in tears and regret and tablets and suicide threats.

So i'm in a relationship now and I'm vowing never to say it too much