Are you a good judge of character?

brianthebard

Two years ago I would've felt I was a good judge of character, and that I could figure out what made a person tick fairly easily. But after a few years in college, and meeting several people who appear nice at first but slowly show themselves to be either not what I expected or in a few cases, completely two-faced, I'm not as confident about being a judge of character as I was before.

Do you think you are a good judge of character? Why?/Why not?

Dyr

brianthebard wrote:

Two years ago I would've felt I was a good judge of character, and that I could figure out what made a person tick fairly easily.

Those are two different things though. Yeah i'm a good judge of character but you should always factor in the possibility that someone could shaft you even if you trust them completely. All humans are devious, conniving f***s basically

Heyes

Yes i think im a good judge of charactor, or at least ive been told on a number of occasions that i am. Its not too hard to tell if someone is bull****ting you or what there really like from what they say and do. However saying that there is always the ones that can catch you off guard.

Mrs_Doyle

I thought I was a good judge of character, and for the most part I usually am right about people, but recently I was seriously screwed over by someone I thought was my friend.

User45701

i consider myself t be a very good judge of charactor with only 2 exceptions that i can remember ever so thats good considering the amount of people i have met.
I didn't go to collage so i cant comment on how hard it is to judge there characters

I tend to stay away from very immature people and like hanging out with insane people instead - more fun

Kolodny

I've definitely lost a bit of faith in my ability to make good character judgements recently. When I was younger I never really got close to anyone who didn't turn out to be a trustworthy type but in the last few years I've befriended and then had to run a mile from a couple of complete nutters and I didn't see it coming. I suppose I like to see the best in people but I should probably be more wary than I am.

I'm not at all a good judge so I rarely trust people even people that have proven it
therefore a lot of the time I'm paranoid!

Terry

I don't trust anyone or take them at face value. It takes me a while before I can trust someone. I generally hate people.

brianthebard

Kolodny wrote:

I've definitely lost a bit of faith in my ability to make good character judgements recently. When I was younger I never really got close to anyone who didn't turn out to be a trustworthy type but in the last few years I've befriended and then had to run a mile from a couple of complete nutters and I didn't see it coming. I suppose I like to see the best in people but I should probably be more wary than I am.

Yeah that's basically what happened me. I think I should return to being less trusting ( I feel like I've started to think like that again anyways) I'd like to think the best about everyone, but whats the point when its not true?

humbert

I'm usually a good judge of character, at least in my experience. The exceptions being when the person is brighter than me, they are such a pathological liar/fraud that they themselves hardly realise they are being insincere, or they are simply unlike anyone I've known before.

JustCoz

Everyone thinks they are a good judge of character even when they're not. I think I am pretty perceptive in general but a few people I have thought were nice didn't turn out to be who I thought they were

JustCoz

julep wrote:

I don't trust anyone or take them at face value. It takes me a while before I can trust someone. I generally hate people.

Well you sound like a delightful person

MikeHoncho

I am a good judge of character in terms of being able to read if someone is a complete arse or not. I usually know in a couple of minutes if a person is arrogant or bitchy etc and generally will make a decision to stear clear of these people.

But there is another type of personality I am terrible at picking up on and that is the wierdo. I seem to pick these people up everywhere I go. I think these people are fine I introduce them to my other friends invite them out etc and then they turn out to be complete nutbags. I just think because they are quiet they are nice and then next thing you know they are screaming at the top of their lungs about how they want to cause everybody pain or trying to molest my female friends and telling me im the only person who understands them (which i dont). I have made a vow not to introduce any new friends I make to my group for at least a 6 - 8 month probabation period so I can properly determine their psychopathic tendencies.

Pighead

Pigheads a magnificent judge of character. From <snip> very first post I immediately twigged he was a complete and utter spanner. How right I was.

Leave it out. This isn't the Thunderdome.
julep.

Blush_01

No, definitely not.

Setun

MikeHoncho wrote:

But there is another type of personality I am terrible at picking up on and that is the wierdo. I seem to pick these people up everywhere I go. I think these people are fine I introduce them to my other friends invite them out etc and then they turn out to be complete nutbags. I just think because they are quiet they are nice and then next thing you know they are screaming at the top of their lungs about how they want to cause everybody pain or trying to molest my female friends and telling me im the only person who understands them (which i dont). I have made a vow not to introduce any new friends I make to my group for at least a 6 - 8 month probabation period so I can properly determine their psychopathic tendencies.

Yep, I 've experienced exactly the same type of thing. I'd generally be nice to these kind of people, thinking they're just the quiet shy type, and kind of feel sorry for them. Then they become very clingy and eventually drive me insane. They're really hard to get rid once they think they're in "the pal zone".

Ruu_Old

Not really, Im too much of a judge book by cover type of person, I am trying to be better though.

biko

I have several friends that claim to be great judges of character.
I just think to myself "Then why are you friends with me?" :rolleyes:

Sad Professor

I'm slow to make any judgements on people and try remain open minded. By making quick judgements you are actually preventing yourself from seeing them honestly. It's very easy to become attached to the idea that you "know" somebody and then having the pain of letting go of that idea when you realise you don't. People are rarely what they seem and since you can't get inside their head you'll never really know them anyway. All we see are the shadows they project.

biko

Usually if they are a good drunk they are a good person (well kinda).
Drink brings out the best and worst in people - but that's a different thread.

Cake Fiend

julep wrote:

I don't trust anyone or take them at face value. It takes me a while before I can trust someone. I generally hate people.

Me too, but in fairness, it's people's fault for being idiots.

Miss Fluff

I trust my own judgement, especially first impressions. You have to go with your instincts. There have been numerous occasions I take an instant almost wild and inexplicable dislike to someone and I'm rarely wrong. Obviously you can't go through life being a cynical muppet either, life would be pretty harsh but if you get a feeling in your tummy about someone you should acknowledge it.

Miguel_Sanchez

I am generally am a very good judge of character. I mostly can read people very well and generally know within a few days of spending time with someone what sort of person they are.

With a few notable exceptions I'm normally pretty good at picking my friends.

[edit] I have a friend who regularly thinks new people I introduce her to either don't like her or are just plain not nice. Then after a few weeks she realises she's wrong and becomes great friends with them [/edit]

Dave!

I involuntarily always find myself judging/analysing/studying people and coming to conclusions on what kind of person they are, and what makes them tick...

I'm just wierd like that

It's not really possible to know if I'm accurate or not alot of the time. Eg. I might be thinking "you can tell they're really insecure", but ya can't really ask them :rolleyes: That's not "socially acceptable" :rolleyes:

MikeHoncho

biko wrote:

Usually if they are a good drunk they are a good person (well kinda).
Drink brings out the best and worst in people - but that's a different thread.

I think you have a point there.

humbert

Ok after reading this thread and seeing how almost everyone, including myslef, regards themselves as a good judge of character and then thinking about all the times I've met friends of friends and thought how can my friend not see that this person is a complete muppet leads me to believe it's possible to like or dislike a lot of people purely as a result of how you see them at first and whether you look for the positive or negative aspects of their character and then treat them accordingly.

brianthebard

humbert wrote:

Ok after reading this thread and seeing how almost everyone, including myslef, regards themselves as a good judge of character and then thinking about all the times I've met friends of friends and thought how can my friend not see that this person is a complete muppet leads me to believe it's possible to like or dislike a lot of people purely as a result of how you see them at first and whether you look for the positive or negative aspects of their character and then treat them accordingly.

I think people often present a front when they meet a person, not allowing everything about themselves to show or else being on "good behaviour" so that people will like them. Then you get to know them and realise they are a spa. If you meet a friend of a friend though, perhaps they feel at ease and are willing to show themselves as they are, which means you might see their faults that your friend may not or even has learned to put up with.

I think.

Terry

Good old first impressions.
I never judge a person on my first impression of them.
Everyone is an asshole until I get to know them properly.
I do this only because I always come across as an asshole when I first meet someone. Some sort of defence mechanism or something. I don't ****ing know. I'm not a psychoanalyst.

biko wrote:

Usually if they are a good drunk they are a good person (well kinda).
Drink brings out the best and worst in people - but that's a different thread.

I disagree.
I'm a much friendlier person when I'm drunk.
I don't believe that is a true reflection of my personality as I'm a grumpy bastard most of the time.

brianthebard

brianthebard wrote:

Two years ago I would've felt I was a good judge of character, and that I could figure out what made a person tick fairly easily. But after a few years in college, and meeting several people who appear nice at first but slowly show themselves to be either not what I expected or in a few cases, completely two-faced, I'm not as confident about being a judge of character as I was before.

Do you think you are a good judge of character? Why?/Why not?

I used to think so too, but after some stupid boyfriend-choosing mistakes, I'm starting to doubt it
So... I don't know.

St Bill

When I was a teenager, I thought I knew everything. Now I'm older, I realise I know nothing at all (thank god, the pressure of knowing everything was getting to me!)
Same goes for the people I meet, if I don't know their background, well who am I to be judging them? People is as people does.
Disclaimer : This does not mean I am friends with every Tom, Dick and Harry (you know who you are, seeing as I put your names down )

Crucifix

I am not a particularly good judge of character.
But I wouldn't say I'm very bad at it either, I just have very little ability in that area, so I take a long time to form opinions about people.

Rb

Generally I'm a very good judge of character, though I have messed up a few times and sometimes I'm a bit too trusting of people.

InFront

I haven't really had anything happen to me to make me think I'm a bad judge of character.
Unless I'm just so unbelievably bad at pereceiving people properly that I don't ever cop onto it. Not impossible

metaoblivia

If I listen to my instincts, I'm a good judge of character.
I used to work at a job and had a circle of friends there. There were these two brothers that worked with us, very quiet and sometimes awkward. Some of my girl friends in the group invited them to a party. I told my friends I didn't think it was a good idea. I thought the brothers were really creepy and weird even though I'd had little interaction with them. I normally don't have such strong reactions towards people, so I felt bad about it, but I couldn't help it. But my friends said, oh they're just quiet, they just need some social interaction.
Less than a week after the party, the brothers started sending disgusting emails to one of my friends. They became obsessed with her, called her 20 times a day, followed her, left her notes at work. She eventually had to quit her job the harrassment got so bad (and management wouldn't do anything).
So now I feel guilty (for judging) and validated (for judging correctly) all at once.

Faith

I can't decide whether I'm a crap judge of character, or if all people are inherently ****. I've been screwed over by so many people, most recently my so-called "best friend" of 14 years.

Actually, I think it has something to do with gender. I've never really been screwed over by a male friend. I seem to be a very good judge of character when it comes to men. But women are a completely different story, and I think that could be simply because they're women.

mastermind2005

I'm slow to make any judgements on people and try remain open minded. By making quick judgements you are actually preventing yourself from seeing them honestly. It's very easy to become attached to the idea that you "know" somebody and then having the pain of letting go of that idea when you realise you don't. People are rarely what they seem and since you can't get inside their head you'll never really know them anyway. All we see are the shadows they project.

why wouldn everone be like that? i know i am, listening to some of the posters braggin "im a great judge of character" why would you bother, i know people from my area that are have "great judgment of character" mostly w@nkers tbh

Pigman II

Nope, not a good judge of character. Therefore to combat this I usually just start all people off on on a rating of 2 out of 10 and then leave it up to them to prove me wrong.

People who say they are a good judge are just too dim & oblivious to see that people are playing them behind their back.

Red Hand

I'm not that good a judge of charactor, least of all my own.

jrey1981

I'd say I'm a pretty good character. Why?

I went through a steep learning curve in business in which I encountered all manner of shysters, conmen and bull****ters.

Now I can smell them a mile off. As for people in general, I'm interested in what makes people tick, but I'm also a realist and I make allowances.

I'm also occasionally pleasantly surprised.

DonkeyStyle \o/

julep wrote:

I don't trust anyone or take them at face value. It takes me a while before I can trust someone. I generally hate people.

Same here exactly.

If you think you're a good judge of character you're just kidding yourself... people are extremely complex and can always surprise you one way or the other.
It's a tad narcissistic to go around thinking you have everyone pegged and that you're the only one with hidden depths.

I do take on first impressions of people, but I wouldn't hail them as a saint or sinner based on it... I think in the end most people average out in different ways.

Newaglish

julep wrote:

I disagree.
I'm a much friendlier person when I'm drunk.
I don't believe that is a true reflection of my personality as I'm a grumpy bastard most of the time.

julep wrote:

i'm sitting here trying to remember which is the worst on many, many bad things i've done whilst under the influence.

My spidey-sense is tingling.

Cake Fiend

DonkeyStyle \o/ wrote:

It's a tad narcissistic to go around thinking you have everyone pegged and that you're the only one with hidden depths.

Ironically, I think anyone who claims they have a good judge of character (with the exception of someone who really has had a lot of experience dealing with so many different kinds of people that they've unconsciously learnt a lot about human psychology) is just displaying their naivete.