How can I clinch her?

The Volt

Ok, long story short.. Was seeing her for a while, she broke it off. But we remained close friends. Lately we've become really close, I think there might be a future. Thing is I don't know what to say. I don't wanna sound too clichéd but It needs the right words which I'm not good at..

ELLIEJ

Why did she want to finish the last time?

Ruu_Old

Why did you break up in the first place? Make sure you know what you are getting into, trying it for the second time.

The Volt

She did, but she was in a situation last time whereas she wasn't looking for a relationship (being fickle minded teenagers these things happen i guess)

But I feel like if I said the right words, she'd give it another shot

The Volt

Its worth a second go, I'm sure of that

wyndham

Voltwad wrote:

Lately we've become really close, I think there might be a future. Thing is I don't know what to say. I don't wanna sound too clichéd but It needs the right words which I'm not good at..

Say the above.

You had me at hello, you had me at hello!

The Volt

She tells me, that she wants that whole secure feeling, but she's afraid of committing.. I told her that as long as she was happy.. she said she doesn't know what that is. I'm quite confused, its not a yes..haven't gotten a no yet either

secret_squirrel

Be careful here, you can waste huge amounts of time chasing a headwrecker who will never be "quite sure". On the other hand when you can catch them good it is all the sweeter.

My advice - decide coldly how many times you will take rejection/messing from her. Then when that limit is reached walk away.

Lorax

Dont flog a dead horse..

ELLIEJ

I dont want to sound harsh but i think she is telling you she is afraid of committing to you. I hope I am wrong but you have given her the hook and she still hasnt taken the bait. If someone is interested they should be happy to get a second chance and should take it and run. She hasnt...... Sorry

randylonghorn

Voltwad wrote:

She tells me, that she wants that whole secure feeling, but she's afraid of committing.. I told her that as long as she was happy.. she said she doesn't know what that is. I'm quite confused, its not a yes..haven't gotten a no yet either

Are you sure you're not scaring her by making the whole thing sound too heavy?

Committment can be a heavy word at any age(and for either gender), let alone at 16.

And you talk of "clinching" her ... are you sure she's not feeling hunted / trapped?

Maybe take a lighter approach, and let things grow slowly and naturally?

Black Swan

randylonghorn wrote:

Maybe take a lighter approach, and let things grow slowly and naturally?

Agree.

Kell

Voltwad wrote:

Thing is I don't know what to say. I don't wanna sound too clichéd but It needs the right words which I'm not good at..

Oh jesus, Kell is about to show his soft underbelly (belurgh)

Flowers say more than words ever will and girls like flowers.

Also, I agree with the person who said fix the amount of rejections that you are prepared to accept. Three is usually about right.

G'luck.

K-

The Volt

cheers for all the comments, I'm just so confused right now I really don't know what to do. Should I just leave the ball in her court?

walrusgumble

probably the best thing. at least ye are on talking and friendly terms. just concentrate on the friendship. she might see or remind herrself of a side to you that made her go with you / or makes her want to start something.

you would only get frustrated in the long run if she only started something for the sake of it. you know yourself, for it to work she would really want to start something with you.