Advice on reading signals

LegacyUser

Am looking for advice on whether I am reading signals correctly form a guy where I work.

I am in my mid thirties and single again after a long relationship. A new guy started where I work about six months ago. He transferred from another office and is in senior management. For months I have been catching him looking and smiling at me. But if I try to be friendly when we meet at the printer or coffee machine he seems to go all shy. I am in middle management myself so I think we could be quite well suited.

Does he find just find me attractive or could he be interested in something more. Would it be bad office behaviour to ask a guy like this out? Is it a bad idea to date someone so senior even if he is not my manager and we work on different teams. Even if I did want to ask him out how would I go about it?

Any advice on this would be very welcome.

walrusgumble

normally its not a great idea to go out with someone from the same workplace or class in college.but its not a rule, and if it is its not set in stone

but look maybe start getting him talking would be a start.see what he is like. is he sound or a tw^t.after a while you will get a better idea if he likes/fancies ya or not

he is in a different group to you. if ye really suit each other, ask him out, no one else needs to know, play it causual, start off all friendly in case that would be all his into at the mo as he could be in a relationship already. if he fancies you he will really be flatered if you ask him out.maybe if he does fancy you maybe he will pick up the courage to ask you out.

surely there are many relationhips who have met for the first time at their workplace

limklad

Unreg999 wrote:

Am looking for advice on whether I am reading signals correctly form a guy where I work.

I am in my mid thirties and single again after a long relationship. A new guy started where I work about six months ago. He transferred from another office and is in senior management. For months I have been catching him looking and smiling at me. But if I try to be friendly when we meet at the printer or coffee machine he seems to go all shy. I am in middle management myself so I think we could be quite well suited.

Does he find just find me attractive or could he be interested in something more. Would it be bad office behaviour to ask a guy like this out? Is it a bad idea to date someone so senior even if he is not my manager and we work on different teams. Even if I did want to ask him out how would I go about it?

Any advice on this would be very welcome.

Well, he is not your boss, nor you work in his group so , It up to you. He probably have the same concerns about dating you, since both of you work in the same office. If you describe his behavior as it is, then he certainly likes you.
The other side is that, since both of you work in the same office, Are you secure enough that both of you can work without any issues.
I would say follow your heart, but be careful too, respect boundaries when things go awry.

Sony

hey go for it, I work with my girlfriend - I tried not to let anything happen between us at first due to the fact that work relationships sometimes cause big problems but things couldnt be better between us...its my opinion that if its meant to be it should work anyway;)

geminilady

www.videojug.com is good click relationships and ya can see loads of cool videos!

hunnymonster

From what you've said it could go either way. He could be interested or he might just be a friendly chap wanting to make friends in a new office. Why not ask him out. Doens't have to be anything that feels too "datey"

Kell

Unreg999 wrote:

I am in my mid thirties

You are actually asking advice on this topic from a bunch of strangers who's average age will be roughly ten years younger than you and who likely suffer from greater paranoia and fear of life the universe and everything than you ever will? Hmmn.....

My two cents- ask him out. Its never been difficult, so why make it so? You'll never find out if he likes you or not over a coffee machine or photocopier so just ask him out.

K-

Black Swan

Well, workplace romances are quite common. But if they go sour, it can make going to work a pain! So look before you leap. Also be sure to check your company policies.

If you do decide to proceed, why not go innocent and slow? Coffee? Lunch? No commitments in these... See what develops.

kaalgat

Blue_Lagoon wrote:

If you do decide to proceed, why not go innocent and slow? Coffee? Lunch? No commitments in these... See what develops.

Have to agree there. Something simple like coffee or lunch would give you a different environment, and some time to chat a bit.

LegacyUser

'Thanks for all you advice everyone and I agree that getting talking to him first would be better than just asking him out straight away. Trouble is even though I am more mature! I have led a very quiet life and am not used to chatting up guys. Too many years of being faithful to my ex partner!!

Perhaps the next work night out would be a good opportunity to get a conversation going but knowing my luck it won't go as I would like it too. I never seem to have much success in meeting nice guys. I usually let myself get involved with the ones who fancy me but I don't feel the same about them. I've no idea how to 'get' the man I want. I guess there's only one way to learn, try, try and try again.......'