Depression advice

LegacyUser

Hi All

I've been suffering with what seems like the symptoms of depression for the past 6 years and i don't perticulary want to lose "another" job to it.
I just don't have motivation or the power to get up out of bed in the mornings regardless of what time i sleep at and its putting a severe strain on anything i do.

When in work i sit here staring at the screen for hours a day because i cannot focus on a single thing without finding it boring or a waste of time.

And i'm tired of being tired and feeling like i'm failing regarless of how hard i try, and i would really like some advice on a step to deal with this.
Do i need to just sit down and speak with GP? or is there somone else i should go to?

I make countless excuses for being late for work and take emence amounts of time off when i know i can't get up and fear of dealing with another lateness

Is this even depression? or me not trying hard enough?

dame

Six years is a long time. It's high time to do something. Go to the GP immediately.

limklad

Feelndown wrote:

Hi All

I've been suffering with what seems like the symptoms of depression for the past 6 years and i don't perticulary want to lose "another" job to it.
I just don't have motivation or the power to get up out of bed in the mornings regardless of what time i sleep at and its putting a severe strain on anything i do.

I know that suffering from depression is draining.

Feelndown wrote:

When in work i sit here staring at the screen for hours a day because i cannot focus on a single thing without finding it boring or a waste of time.

And i'm tired of being tired and feeling like i'm failing regarless of how hard i try, and i would really like some advice on a step to deal with this.
Do i need to just sit down and speak with GP? or is there somone else i should go to?

Yes, you should talk to your GP. If you don't you will continue suffering and that you don’t want. Your GP should advise you what to do. The GP can only help as much as you can help him/her to find the problem.
i.e. can you remember anything or feel what is causing the problem? The GP can put you on meds but meds are short term solution. You still need to find the root of the problem.
It could be physical or psychological. If its psychological you need to be honest with yourself and understand the problem so you can resolve it and then move on. Either way it is good to talk and you have taken the first step. Sounds corny I know, but it is true. Talk to Your GP as soon as you can and discuses the problem. Is there any one at home or friends you can talk to, It is good to talk and it does help.

Feelndown wrote:

I make countless excuses for being late for work and take emence amounts of time off when i know i can't get up and fear of dealing with another lateness

Is this even depression? or me not trying hard enough?

You will be looking for another job if you dont get to the root of the problem. If it was you would have left it. Remember it is not the Job is the problem so dont punish or abuse that. Do the best you can and i know it is difficult .
Think of the life you want and go for it, to do so you need to get rid of the baggage properly. Things may get worst for you before it get better. It is worth it, you worth it, trust me.
Take care.

doctor evil

Go to the GP and get a referral ASAP, its only your self you damaging here by not acting. I know how difficult it can be.

Black Swan

As others have commented, see your GP.

Anti

Sounds like your bored ****less with your life. Seems you have no excitement or anything to look forward too. But yeah going to the GP is the best course of action at this point.

I_and_I

Just asking this so don't get upset, do you smoke cannabis by anychance?

LegacyUser

'

I_and_I wrote:

Just asking this so don't get upset, do you smoke cannabis by anychance?

No not atol or take any drugs for this matter.
Half the problem was the lack of knowledge on this which i found out recently as a collegue mentioned it to me and i looked it up on the net.
I just presumed this was adult-hood so to speak, and i have been litlerly forcing myself to do anything, this even includes going out in general.
I often wondered how others seems to come in day to day and focus on a task as i've been able to do this as long as i can remember.

When i looked up the symptoms it threw a realisation in my face and i want to do something about it

You feel miserable and sad.
You feel exhausted a lot of the time with no energy .
You feel as if even the smallest tasks are sometimes impossible.
You seldom enjoy the things that you used to enjoy.
You feel very anxious sometimes.
You don't want to see people or are scared to be left alone. Social activity may feel hard or impossible.
You find it difficult to think clearly.
You feel like a failure and/or feel guilty a lot of the time.
You feel a burden to others.
You sometimes feel that life isn't worth living.
You feel you have no confidence.
You spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong, what will go wrong or what is wrong about yourself as a person. You may also feel guilty sometimes about being critical of others (or even thinking critically about them).
You feel that life is unfair.
You have difficulty sleeping or wake up very early in the morning and can't sleep again. You seem to dream all night long and sometimes have disturbing dreams. (major one)
You may have physical aches and pains which appear to have no physical cause, such as back pain. (knee strain all the time for some reason, i actully sit with my legs double crossed) i dunno if this falls under this.

All of these are an everyday activity to me, and this is out of a list where there are 3 or so i don't suffer from.
Thanks alot for the advise, i'll have a chat with my GP during the week and see what he says, granted i have the confidence to tell him exactly the problem '

I_and_I

Just remember that if you are not totally forthcoming help will be hard to get.

limklad

FeelnDown wrote:

'

I just presumed this was adult-hood so to speak, and i have been litlerly forcing myself to do anything, this even includes going out in general. '

Life do not end when you become an Adult. You do not have to take you life too seriously . You can have fun, You are allowed to (There should be law about it ). If you forget, just ask a kid (There are many adult kids out there :eek: ). They have no problems in having fun with you.

Kevster

Hey,


I'm pretty much depressed everyday but I have things set in place now that help me get through life. When I first started becoming suicidal I went to a counsellor at college. It was great to sit down and talk to someone about problems. When I left college I went to my GP, was given an anti-depressant, and was referred to a psychiatrist. That was all just 3 years ago and right now I have a Therapist that I see regularly.

My advice is simple to you my friend: Go to your GP. Do not let this linger on any longer because you are damaging your life further. There are countless wonders out there for you still. You might not be cured but at least it can become under control.


Take care always & forever,
Kevin.


*Edit - ...just noticed you wrote that you will be going to your GP after all. That's great.

old boy

fcuk de gp go to you local day hospital, gps know ****, cut out de middle man, i got the history 2 prove it

Rawr!

Hiya

I just wanted to say that I have been feeling depressed for a few years now, and I've never done anything about it. It came and went. And I just put it down to me being overly sensitive and that I just found change hard, like going into leaving cert, then doing a PLC and then college..... I just found it all so hard. But recently, everything has become so much worse. I cry all the time. I stay in my room. I can only go into the kitchen when one of my flatmates is there. I can't bare be in there when all three of them is there. I am having trouble being in a large, where there is the possibility where they will all talk to me. I only really leave my room when I have to go to the shop or go to work. I haven't been back to college since before Christmas.

But I've decided to make a change. I've talked to my course lecturer and she said that I can go back to class in a couple of weeks, when I get myself sorted. I've made an appointment with the college Councillor for Wednesday (a bit anxious about that actually). I think I might give class a go on Friday.

I'm just really sick of this lifestyle. I stay up all night and then sleep til evening. It's disgusting. Last week, I even cried at work. They had to arrange emergency holidays for me

Hopefully this Councillor business will help.

Thats my story anyways.

LegacyUser

Good luck Rawr,
Your lifestyle sounds exactly like myself, i think part of the reason i even wrote here is because i'm also hitting a breaking point..

limklad

Rawr! wrote:

Hiya

I just wanted to say that I have been feeling depressed for a few years now, and I've never done anything about it. It came and went. And I just put it down to me being overly sensitive and that I just found change hard, like going into leaving cert, then doing a PLC and then college..... I just found it all so hard. But recently, everything has become so much worse. I cry all the time. I stay in my room. I can only go into the kitchen when one of my flatmates is there. I can't bare be in there when all three of them is there. I am having trouble being in a large, where there is the possibility where they will all talk to me. I only really leave my room when I have to go to the shop or go to work. I haven't been back to college since before Christmas.

But I've decided to make a change. I've talked to my course lecturer and she said that I can go back to class in a couple of weeks, when I get myself sorted. I've made an appointment with the college Councillor for Wednesday (a bit anxious about that actually). I think I might give class a go on Friday.

I'm just really sick of this lifestyle. I stay up all night and then sleep til evening. It's disgusting. Last week, I even cried at work. They had to arrange emergency holidays for me

Hopefully this Councillor business will help.

Thats my story anyways.

Be honest with the councilor and most importantly to your self. s/he is there to help you. They are not just there to listen, they are there to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want. Otherwise you will be going back in circles. You do not want that kind of life. There is a lot of pain going around and it either makes us angry, sad or even make us emotionless. It drains our energy for life. Whatever it is that is causing your problem, you need to find it, admit to it, feel the pain and let it go, crying is you showing you are suffering and you are letting the problem go. People seem to think you cannot draw strength from releasing you pain. It not so. You want to be happy and life a better life. That is you strength but to get it you need to release you self doubt. You have already taken your first steps, which are Acknowledging you have a problem and start looking for help. Good on you and well done .
I know it seem to be a drag right now and that is ok, that normal for people like us suffered. you know what? You can do it, you want to do it, you want to live life the best you can. Your limits will move up and up and up and so on. We limit ourselves, therefore we are our own worst enemy. Just like you feel physical pain, you find the cause and heal it, So feel the emotional pain and find that trigger and let it go. Do not go down the revenge or blame path, or else you will be going back in circles. We are all hurt by events or people in our lives, our biggest choice now, is how we choose to deal with it..
There is a better life our there for all of us. I know I like you though there was a bleak future for myself, until I look forward and began to leave the past behind. I learnt from mistakes I made and of others and choose a better way for myself. I doing a hell of a lot better in my job, and personal life now. There are many of those around me and others who refuse to move forward and cling to the past as an excuse for revenge/bad behavior. They are stuck within that circle and are getting deeper into that painful hole. There is no one single solution to your problem, but many solutions.
Again be honest with yourself so you can move forward. See that goal you want and reach for it. One baby step first, then walk , then run for your goal. As I said before in another post, and I know it sounds corny, but it works “Love yourself unconditionally” because you worth it. it won't be long before you be doing this

Rawr!

Thanks Limklad.

I think what makes it most hard is the people around. People I would normally consider my friends, if they see me feelin down, they don't ask what's wrong, they just call me Emo. And this is a regular thing. And I'm sick of being called Emo, just because I feel down. The are constantly making fun of me over it.

And the receptionist rang to say that the councillor gave away my appointment on Wednesday, and now it's for Thursday.

An old boyfriend of mine, one who meant the most to me. We had made plans for when we both finished college and all that. He text me last night to say he had a new gf. That kept me up all night.

Everything is going backwards...

Maybe the saying "It has to get worse to get better" is coming true?

Angeles

Well i don't mean to offend but it sounds like the old b/f told you that just to rub it in, which would make him better of being on the old list.

And yeah, perhaps it has to get worse to get better - hence breaking point for me.
I'm actully afraid to ask for time off to go see GP incase i get fired!
But will see,
If you don't mind rawr could you let know how it goes with the councillor? Simple good or bad.

btw also thanks for the comment Limkad, made me smile knowing someone can be that, positive

limklad

Rawr! wrote:

Thanks Limklad.

I think what makes it most hard is the people around. People I would normally consider my friends, if they see me feelin down, they don't ask what's wrong, they just call me Emo. And this is a regular thing. And I'm sick of being called Emo, just because I feel down. The are constantly making fun of me over it.

And the receptionist rang to say that the councillor gave away my appointment on Wednesday, and now it's for Thursday.

An old boyfriend of mine, one who meant the most to me. We had made plans for when we both finished college and all that. He text me last night to say he had a new gf. That kept me up all night.

Everything is going backwards...

Maybe the saying "It has to get worse to get better" is coming true?

You are seen the bad side of people and I bet they have problems of their own or just plain selfish. Either way it is their choice. Yes, it is true in all painful situations, "Life has to get worse before it will get better"
Let the old boyfriend go, he is useless for you, he was been uncaring for your feeling and he never got to know you, or just plain immature. You will learn and understand from this experience, it will stand to you in the future, for you will see things in a new light. It is not a nice experience, I have been through it. Just because it is an extra day before your appointment, it ok. Mistakes happen, we all make mistakes or there is a personal good reason for it. We need to be grown up to admit them and learn from them. How would you like other to react when you make mistakes? Look at the positive side, he did not reject you and still wants to see you. Do not dwell on this.
I do a lot of projects for my work and lots of them have set backs. I do get annoyed because I want complete them on time, but I try to understand why it happen so I can prevent it or/and show other why it happened so they/I would not make the same mistakes. There are load of ideas and understanding which comes from mistakes.
I used my personal life disasters and recovery to help me deal with pressure situations at work. People have comment how well I sailed through the disasters, little did they know about my painful past and how I learnt from them.

So Remember your goal and a smile for you today.

Petey2006

Rawr! wrote:

Hiya

I just wanted to say that I have been feeling depressed for a few years now, and I've never done anything about it. It came and went. And I just put it down to me being overly sensitive and that I just found change hard, like going into leaving cert, then doing a PLC and then college..... I just found it all so hard. But recently, everything has become so much worse. I cry all the time. I stay in my room. I can only go into the kitchen when one of my flatmates is there. I can't bare be in there when all three of them is there. I am having trouble being in a large, where there is the possibility where they will all talk to me. I only really leave my room when I have to go to the shop or go to work. I haven't been back to college since before Christmas.

But I've decided to make a change. I've talked to my course lecturer and she said that I can go back to class in a couple of weeks, when I get myself sorted. I've made an appointment with the college Councillor for Wednesday (a bit anxious about that actually). I think I might give class a go on Friday.

I'm just really sick of this lifestyle. I stay up all night and then sleep til evening. It's disgusting. Last week, I even cried at work. They had to arrange emergency holidays for me

Hopefully this Councillor business will help.

Thats my story anyways.

Howaya. Well done on taking the step, Rawr. It takes a lot of courage, I know because I did it myself. In my case, it did help a helluva lot. It takes a lot of work, and isn't easy at all. But with time and effort, hopefully you'll really benefit from it. I still go to group cognative therapy. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but sometimes it really helps just to air some grievances. I wish you luck and hope it's as helpful to you as it was to me.

glasseye81

g.p. s are useful to apoint. medicate the physical effects and maybe gain some breathing space . i remember crying for days on benzodiazepines waiting for the prozac to kick in. theres always a different reason. i didnt have any life trauma, no deaths etc no abuse. just became lost and sad and never recovered. thankfully you dont drink right? not a great idea. i still do occasionally. pills do so much only. getting up is hard. especially knowing you have little to get up for or come home to. no love no companionship. just failure and self loathing .#
dont waste any more time. sort something out.

limklad

Angeles wrote:

I'm actully afraid to ask for time off to go see GP incase i get fired!
But will see, comment Limkad, made me smile knowing someone can be that, positive

If you are worried that you will get fired, well Don't, the reason is you will have grounds for unfair dismissal. The last thing your work place needs is an unhappy, unsupportive environment. If that happens then the work rate will be poor and burn out/or through put of employees will be high. In the end it will cost them money!! If your boss is a jerk , then I can definitely tell you, there is far better places to work for.

Angeles wrote:

If you don't mind rawr could you let know how it goes with the councillor? Simple good or bad.

Take the step.

Angeles wrote:

btw also thanks for the comment Limkad, made me smile knowing someone can be that, positive

Thanks and you can be too.

limklad

glasseye81 wrote:

g.p. s are useful to apoint. medicate the physical effects and maybe gain some breathing space . i remember crying for days on benzodiazepines waiting for the prozac to kick in. theres always a different reason. i didnt have any life trauma, no deaths etc no abuse. just became lost and sad and never recovered. thankfully you dont drink right? not a great idea. i still do occasionally. pills do so much only. getting up is hard. especially knowing you have little to get up for or come home to. no love no companionship. just failure and self loathing .#
dont waste any more time. sort something out.

You lost motivation for life. There is lots to do. You need to look into you what make you tick. Soccer, rugby, GAA or any other sports. You do not have to be brilliant at them, just enjoy taking part and encouraging others. Do you play anything? or about other social things besides drinking since that will affect your meds?
cooking, painting, Mountain walking, sailing, cycling, or even driving (not reckless) or go-karting or something like that. Are there societies near where you live? Try some of them, you never now how much you like or hate them.
Have you ever made up a list of what you want to do in life?
if you have not start small.
Think back in your life and see what you like as a kid, teenager or early adulthood.
Our world has gone very much automated in things we do, but there is more that we can do.
Work to live, not live to work.

hamsterboy

Hi,
I know exactly what you are going through. I have been battling depression since my teens and you just described my life. Depression is a crippling disease that can turn a persons life upside down. Its got nothing to do with finding things (hobbies) you like etc. Thats bull****. With depression, you could have everything a person could want but you will still not enjoy it. You need to see your gp and tell them everything.
I know it can be hard to explain to people how empty and alone you feel, but 1 in 4 Irish people experience depression at some time, so your gp will be more than understanding. It does not guarantee that things will get better, but you have to at least try. I know. I have tried more types of anti-depressant than a Pfizers lab rat. I am better than I was but I still have a long way to go.
I have quit jobs because I cant face going in, I avoid social situations because I feel so bad. I could go on. It helps me to know that I am not alone, either are you. See your gp. If that doesnt work get a better gp. I did. If you want to ask me anything or just talk to someone who knows what you are going through pm me.:)

limklad

hamsterboy wrote:

Hi,
I know exactly what you are going through. I have been battling depression since my teens and you just described my life. Depression is a crippling disease that can turn a persons life upside down. Its got nothing to do with finding things (hobbies) you like etc. Thats bull****. With depression, you could have everything a person could want but you will still not enjoy it. You need to see your gp and tell them everything.
I know it can be hard to explain to people how empty and alone you feel, but 1 in 4 Irish people experience depression at some time, so your gp will be more than understanding. It does not guarantee that things will get better, but you have to at least try. I know. I have tried more types of anti-depressant than a Pfizers lab rat. I am better than I was but I still have a long way to go.
I have quit jobs because I cant face going in, I avoid social situations because I feel so bad. I could go on. It helps me to know that I am not alone, either are you. See your gp. If that doesnt work get a better gp. I did. If you want to ask me anything or just talk to someone who knows what you are going through pm me.:)

I know depression is crippling, I have been through it. What is really worst is that your mind focus more on the negative side of it, therefore it will get worst and worst. Everybody depression is different. There are so many causes of depression. It could physical or psychological or some combination of both. The key is trying to find a solution or solutions. Do not give up trying. You never know what distraction or solution which will help you out of it. You can even find it in unexpected places where you never looked before.
I agree with your GP advice. Not all GP's understand but they can point you in the right direction. If a GP is deny other type of help beside medications then I would not trust him/her. Your GP is there to help you, no matter what it takes.

Misery loves misery, so let’s break that cycle.

Rawr!

So yeah...

Last night was really bad. Went to work. I work in a Call Centre. I'm in the Customer Service Dept. I just had all bad calls. People shouting at, which is ok. But then cursing at me and calling me stuff. And normally I could handle this. But last night. I don't know. I was crying in the bathroom and everything. I just couldn't hack it.

I don't know what's going on lately.

hamsterboy

Rawr you need to seek some help somwhere outside of these boards. While they are great for advice, they're no substitute for professionals. Talk to your boss, let them know what's going on. If they don't care, f£ck them, a Customer Service Dept is no place for someone suffering from depression.
See your doctor, contact AWARE, they have points of contact all over the country. Just don't suffer in silence

Angeles

I think thats the intresting bit hamster.
Getting the motivation to do something about it, isn't this the depression?
I started this to get information on where i would start to fix this, so far GP is the goal, now all i need is the effort.
Personally the thought of letting someone know any of the reason's i've been in a rut "so to speak", actully scares the sh*t out of me.
I'm to acostomed to bottling up every that comes my way, and have done for so many years that there are times i feel like losing complete control, but challenge myself to keep control.
To others around me i may seem "ok" on the outside, but i always return to wanting to crawl into a hole, every day.

@Rawr, i also once worked in a similer role, and found alot of people that could be rediculasly mean, you have a couple of choices on this, 1 "hang up" or 2 "shout back", i've found 2 doesn't work, but 1 is abolutly fine and no one can complain if the person verbaly attacked you,
Having to take on other people's issue's while already suffering with your own is something i know all to well and now refuse to allow it now, the longer i go and the more pain i experience, the more of a careless attitude i gain.

hamsterboy

Well put Angeles.
If its a thing that you have been seeing the same GP as your parents / family etc and you don't want to explain to them, simply pick a different one. Even better, contact AWARE and they can advise you on GP's in your area that would be best suited to dealing with depression. Either way, don't ever feel alone. As always with this topic, PM me if you need to talk / rant / vent....whatever

Rawr!

I have looked into going to an AWARE meeting here in Waterford. I even went for a walk one midnight, to find the place where they are held.

I can't go today.... work

But I'm going to ask them can I get tuesdays off in future, and I might start going.

I told my mam about going to a councillor. I told her because we usually have an open relationship. First thing she said was, not, are you ok? But, will you have to pay for it. This really hurt me. She continued on. "It'll only make you worse. You need a hobby. You're just lazy"

And that was it. That was Saturday night. Went to my room until Monday, when I got the bus back to Waterford.

hamsterboy

Don't be worried that your Mum doesn't understand...it's hard for prople who have never experienced depression to react to it when faced with it. Talk to her again, tell that you were hurt by what she said but that you understand why she said it (i.e. she was most likely caught unawares).
Explain to her that you are not lazy, you are not in need of a hobby.....you ARE suffering from a very serious condition and you need her support. You said that you and your Mam usually have a good relationship.....this should make it easier.
Go to that meeting, take that first step.
Things will seem a lot clearer if you see that you're not alone

limklad

hamsterboy wrote:

Don't be worried that your Mum doesn't understand...it's hard for prople who have never experienced depression to react to it when faced with it. Talk to her again, tell that you were hurt by what she said but that you understand why she said it (i.e. she was most likely caught unawares).
Explain to her that you are not lazy, you are not in need of a hobby.....you ARE suffering from a very serious condition and you need her support. You said that you and your Mam usually have a good relationship.....this should make it easier.
Go to that meeting, take that first step.
Things will seem a lot clearer if you see that you're not alone

I second that, good advice

Rawr!

Thanks. But I have tried to talk to my ma about this before. About 2 years ago, I told her that I wanted to see a doctor, and she just laughed at me, and again said that I need a hobby.

Victor

old boy wrote:

fcuk de gp go to you local day hospital, gps know ****, cut out de middle man, i got the history 2 prove it

GPs are there for a reason. Going to a GP means the OP can be fast tracked to the right people.

you definitely have depression

Thats a call for a doctor to make, not someone over the internet.

Rawr!

I scratched all my arm with a knife tonite. Didn't bleed or anything. I dunno.

Angeles

Rawr! wrote:

I scratched all my arm with a knife tonite. Didn't bleed or anything. I dunno.

Does causing yourself physical pain make emotional pain better?
To my knowledge it doesn't, so why bother adding pain?
Do you not like your arm for some reason?

Rawr!

Went to the councillor yesterday.

hamsterboy

How do you think you got on? Were they of any help to you?

Rawr!

She was really nice.

I have to go back again.

But I think it might help.

Though I have decided to drop out of college.

I'm really confused.

Victor

Rawr! wrote:

I'm really confused.

Thats OK. We all get confused at times.

Rawr!

It's really annoying being confused all the time