very touchy situation

LegacyUser

guys going un-regged for this one

to cut a long story short , my dad did cheated on my mam , she's kicked him out (most definitely permanently) and he's now on my couch for the last few days , now if my mams side of the family (that i'd be closer to) found out there would be HELL to pay in alot of different ways thats theres not much point in going into here

as it stands i shouldnt even be in my current apt with my single mother girlfriend ;-) so he really cant be there for long (a week at most we're reckoning) but the problem is that he's no where to live and following a previous court order he's to pay maintenance to my mam for my little sis so he has feic all money left to rent a room so he'll have no where to live

gonna have to talk to him tonight about it one way or the other and will 90% sure that i'll be telling him a week or so then he's to go but would appreciate any tips in approching this as its obviously touchy at both sides at the mo and even though i tried my best i'm after landing smack bang in the middle of it

thanks guys

Victor

You could put your father in contact with the local Community Welfare Officer (usually attached to the local health clinic) who could help him out.

tbh

dunno wrote:

guys going un-regged for this one

to cut a long story short , my dad did cheated on my mam , she's kicked him out (most definitely permanently) and he's now on my couch for the last few days , now if my mams side of the family (that i'd be closer to) found out there would be HELL to pay in alot of different ways thats theres not much point in going into here

as it stands i shouldnt even be in my current apt with my single mother girlfriend ;-) so he really cant be there for long (a week at most we're reckoning) but the problem is that he's no where to live and following a previous court order he's to pay maintenance to my mam for my little sis so he has feic all money left to rent a room so he'll have no where to live

gonna have to talk to him tonight about it one way or the other and will 90% sure that i'll be telling him a week or so then he's to go but would appreciate any tips in approching this as its obviously touchy at both sides at the mo and even though i tried my best i'm after landing smack bang in the middle of it

thanks guys

tell him what you've told us. If he's a decent man, he'll know most of this already. Hope it works out ok for ya.

Sleepy

Can you afford to help him out with a few quid to get a place?

judas101

ah ya cant kick the ould lad out. let him find his feet and he'll move on as soon as he's able to

Dudess

Yeah, whether you're closer to those on your mother's side or not, he's still your dad. And they should understand that - even if they think he's a rotten person. From what you say, he's done some stuff that isn't nice, but it would be very childish of your relatives to expect you to turn your back on him completely. I'm sure he's not exactly your favourite person at the moment either, but what else are you supposed to do when he asks for your help? All that family loyalty stuff can get very ugly and it's terrible pressure to put on a person - particularly the child of a feuding couple, since he or she is right in the middle. My mate's parents' split was a complete bloodbath and it drove the family apart - some children siding with one parent, some siding with the other. Her dad didn't even get invited to two of his own children's weddings.
Don't let it come to something like that. That said, do tell your dad what you've told us, as tbh suggested.

The_Minister

Does he own the house with your Mum? Tell him to go live in his own house, she can't kick him out if he co-owns it.

LundiMardi

The_Minister wrote:

Does he own the house with your Mum? Tell him to go live in his own house, she can't kick him out if he co-owns it.

i concur...

Yeah he's a dick for cheating, but if she doesn't like then she can leave;)

Faith

Was it a one night stand, or an affair? Because if it was long term cheating, couldn't he move in with his mistress?

King of Kings

He is your dad. think of all the he did for you as a kid and the time he spent with you.
Feck the relatives -if they had an ounce of loyalty they'd understand. In fact, if you had any loyalty you wouldn't care what you mother's side thought. It should be instinct to give him a dig out.
Anyway he is probably not too happy on the couch anyway so he'l probably move on soon anyway.

the_syco

The_Minister wrote:

Does he own the house with your Mum? Tell him to go live in his own house, she can't kick him out if he co-owns it.

You sure? As some of our laws are similair to the UK laws, it may nt be so clear cut. Some (recent) cases will side with the mother and kids over the father, to the extent that if the father doesn't pay mortgage on the house he owns, but doesn't live in as the mother of his kids, and his kids live there, he'll goto jail.

OP: best of luck, but he may not be able to move into his house, even though he owns it