Very good resignation letter.

D

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you.........
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation.
However, I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad reference. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the company.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror n.de. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of reference. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the reference on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Wishing you a grand and glorious day'.

I came across this on the interweb thingy. If true nice.

Sleepy

Sounds like something from BOFH tbh.

connundrum

Sleepy wrote:

BOFH

?

I was going to write a similar letter to my present employer, but the fcuker would probably not pay me my last month's salary. I know that I'd eventually get it out of him, but he'd be delighted knowing that he made me broke for a few months.

skywalker

B*stard operator from hell. Well worth a giggle to read an episode whenever you've 5 minutes to kill.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/

Sleepy

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard_Indexes.html

connundrum

LMAO

Brilliant!

/sits back to read all, whilst not answering phone in the traditional manner

Compak

quick ? is it sfw

connundrum

Ah yeah, as safe as boards.ie

Siogfinsceal

a guy i know did somethign similar to a big company a few years ago. He wrote them a letter explaning that he was terminating them as his employer and listed the reasons why. he finished it off my saying he was not a monkey therefore was not happy getting paid peanuts

xzanti

Lol... I enjoyed that... brilliant

User45701

thats nothing like the letter i am in the middle of doodleing now

Sleepy

A word of warning to anyone intending to follow the BOFH link. It's a seriously addictive read, kind of like Ross O' Carroll Kelly for computer nerds.

I spent the best part of a week reading the entire backlog and my productivity went to ****e that week

Feral Mutant

Sleepy wrote:

A word of warning to anyone intending to follow the BOFH link. It's a seriously addictive read, kind of like Ross O' Carroll Kelly for computer nerds.

I spent the best part of a week reading the entire backlog and my productivity went to ****e that week

If only your warning had come a few hours earlier *sigh*.

440Hz

Ironically, this is the situation I have with my PhD supervisor... not much longer though..... im outta there! cant take him anymore