help me please!

LegacyUser

so me and my bf split up and i thought it was all ok but hes devastated and said he cant be friends anymore. i feel horrible now but i know ive done this myslef after past brekups so maybe he just needs time? i said sorry and told him that i really hope we can be mates agian but im not gonna keep bothering him. do u think ive done the righ thing?

Ruu_Old

Give him time to cool off, he is probably just hurting right now. How long were ye together? Of course you done the right thing, if you didn't want to be in a relationship with him anymore that is and keeping it going just because you don't want him hurt doesn't work.

LegacyUser

'going through the same thing myself op...ya i think its best to leave him alone for a while and give him space to get his head round things...and then he will be able to decide if he wants to remain friends or not...its a horrible waiting game i know'

Sparky

You've done the right by giving him a bit of space. He needs some healing time.

Time is a great healer. See how things go for the next few days. Seeing as you told him you still want to be mates, see if he takes you up on that offer. Some friendly contact is better than none at all. But it could be a while!

Rb

You did the right thing alright, since you didn't want to be in a relationship with the guy anymore.

Hes probably hurt, maybe he will take you up on the offer of friendship or maybe not, but leave him be and if hes going to come around, he'll do it by himself.

LegacyUser

'In pretty much the same situation as you. Have not spoken once with my ex gf at her request since we broke up in october. We've exchanged a handful of texts but at least they've been mature and civil. It does suck but in the long term it probably helps I think. Its taking a while (in my case) but it does gets a bit easier over time. Keep doing the right thing and best of luck.'

biko

so me and my bf split up and i thought it was all ok but hes devastated and said he cant be friends anymore.

OP, it sounds like you broke up with him? If so you should leave him alone to sulk and hopefully heal - minimum 2 weeks. Not all ex-couples stay friends.

The Walsho

Let him know your offer of friendship is still there, and then tell him you're willing to give him some space for a bit if that's what he wants.
The guy's hurting, so give him room, after even a couple of days he might want to try the friendship thing out.

Carrigart Exile

kingoftherodeo wrote:

Let him know your offer of friendship is still there, and then tell him you're willing to give him some space for a bit if that's what he wants.
The guy's hurting, so give him room, after even a couple of days he might want to try the friendship thing out.

If the relationship was a decent length and the guy was in to you in a big way, then what he is doing is protecting himself. In my experience he'll need 3 - 6 months away from you (with no contect unless he initiates it) to get his head together