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Following on...

  • 19-01-2007 11:57pm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5

    Conrod wrote:
    My birth mother is from Offaly and I was adopted in London, through the Crusade of Rescue at 6 months of age in the summer of 1959.
    With the help of the CoR (now the Catholic Childrens Society), we traced my birth mother's current address. The CCS spoke on the phone to her on my behalf and forwarded on a letter I had written to her. Unfortunately, her husband had died recently, and she couldn't face telling her other children about me, so we have never met. It's tempting to go down just to see what she looks like, but I dont think that would be right.
    Hope this isnt too long an intro. :rolleyes:
    Not too long an intro at all ;)
    How long ago is it since you sent the letter? I suppose about 6 months or a year would be time enough to leave it. It's hard to know in these situations, but I wouldn't leave it any longer than that if it was me. These things can get put on the long finger so to speak, and the more time that passes, the less inclined you are to do anything about it. It would be a shame if it fizzled out after getting so far.
    I thought I'd start a new thread rather than bung up the introductions one :)

    At my first appointment at CCS I was given all the original papers relating to my adoption. These included handwritten letters from my birth mother and also the nuns who ran the Crusade of Rescue at the time. Also, I was 3 days away from being sent back to Cork when my adoptive parents were approved.
    The lady I met at CCS suggested I write a letter to my birth mother, which she kept, and when we traced my birth mother, the letter was passed on to her. My birth mother later phoned the lady at CCS to say that she didn't feel that she could meet me, for the reasons at the top, but was keeping the letter in her bedside cabinet. Now the ball is in my birth mother's court. If she doesn't want to make contact for whatever reason, I have to respect her decision.
    I've been to her home village in Offaly, paid respects to my relatives in the cemetary, had a Guinness in the pub, lit a candle in the church and not told anyone why I was there. I wont go back, but I consider it as my true home.
    It didn't work out as I had hoped, but it was a roller coaster ride doing all the research and tracing and I am so glad I did it.
    Good luck to all who take this on :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,131 ✭✭✭holly_johnson

    That's a great story and fair play for going to the village and doing what you did. It really helps you connect with your heritage I feel. I felt the same when I went to Holland to visit my natural fathers grave.

    IMO, if she has kept the letter in her bedside locker, it sounds like she is thinking about you and hasn't put you aside. I would be hopeful that she will contact you again when she feels ready.

    Hope it all works out for you!