I'm considering suicide

LegacyUser

Over the past 3 months i have been down and lonely. my family dont seem to even give me the time of day anymore my mam works long hours and couldnt care less about me. my dad abused me as a child hitting me and my sister and it still affects me till this day. i find it hard to make friends and when i do they run away from me. i like to talk to people and let out my feelings but no body ****ing cares, they dont want to know.
its all getting to me, ive had no girlfriend in 3 years, and when i try to meet girls i get rejected. ive never even had sex and i have no body to turn to or talk to anymore. everybody is so cought up in rushing here rushing there, no time to stop and listen.
i have a job that i like but im begining to hate it now as i dont get to meet the same people and make friends. i'm always somewhere different. i work on my own which doesnt help either
i just cant take it anymore. i have lost all hope in myself i honestly dont give a **** about anything anymore. i cant sleep at night. i get sick during the day from shock of what my life will be. its not great. someday soon i can see myself driving into the canal and drowning myself. its an easy way out and maybe a cowards way but who cares anymore. i dont.

thanks for listening.

Gordon

Have you thought about going to a counsellor? if you think that there is nobody to talk to then your assured of that with a counsellor.

As for the job - have you thought about changing jobs? You should give it some serious consideration if this is part of the reason that you are feeling down.

Black Swan

Finalthought wrote:

everybody is so cought up in rushing here rushing there, no time to stop and listen.

We have stopped to listen to you. Maybe you could start here, and rebuild in small ways? There are all kinds of people on boards, and it would seem that such ways of communicating are growing with technology. Obviously, there are things you should do beyond boards, but you will find that there are a lot of us who come to play here, or rant, or discuss, or search, or whatever. I have found a few friends here too.

little lady

I know exactly how you feel, bout 9 years ago I attempted suicide and Thankfully failed. I tried to tell my family how I felt but all I got was "don't worry you'll be fine", but I didn't try hard enough. I never actually sat them down and explained exactly how I felt; it was more along the lines of, "I think I'm depressed". You really need to sit someone in your family down and really tell them how you feel, if you don't think you can do this then go to a counsellor, crying your eyes out in front of a stranger can be quite daunting but trust me it's the best thing you will ever do for yourself.

I had no friends and I hated the job I was in. Everything I tried I failed at, and I believed that everyone’s life including my own would be so much better if I wasn't here, I was very wrong. I realised how much my family loved me and with there help, some counselling life got better.

I haven't forgotten what it was like and how lonely it can be but I am very glad that I didn't succeed in my attempt.

Please don't believe that you have nothing to live for and that things won't and can't get better, because you do, they can and they will.

Shinners23

The very fact your on here shows us that all is not lost. My best friend committed suicide almost two years ago and unfortunately he never shared how he felt with anyone. Its good that you vocalising how low your feeling and their are people out there that can help.

Keep the faith and I would also ask you to consider a councellor.

Fraggle

I was so sad to read your post. I wish I could reach out and talk to you myself. You seem to be a really nice person and I bet people care more about you than you think. Even if you don't want to speak to your Dad, he obviously has distressed you deeply, couldn't you communicate with your Mum or sister? I'm sure they would be so upset to hear that you are feeling this way. Please talk to someone today. Don't dream of harming yourself. One day you will look back and be relieved that all of this negativity is only in the past. You will be happy some day, believe me. The time to get help is today. Life is for living, to be carefree and to be out there being the person you want to be. You can do it.

Katyspice

This feeling will pass....unless you take productive steps to break the cycle it will come back. This is a rough time of year for alot of people for a variety of reasons.

Medication is available and easy to incorporate into your life.

Big hug -

6th

This might seem very obvious but it needs to be said .... Suicide is PERMANENT.

py2006

6th wrote:

This might seem very obvious but it needs to be said .... Suicide is PERMANENT.

This is true! I think it was somebody on boards here said before that:

"Suicide is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem!"

Ghost Rider

I don't have much to say that hasn't been said but I'd like to reiterate some of the points made here:

- If you can really sit someone in your family down (even a cousin or an aunt/uncle) and tell them how you feel, that would be great. As someone said, there's a huge difference between saying "I think I'm depressed" in passing and actually sitting someone down for an hour or two and having a big conversation about it. (You might have to arrange to meet them somewhere outside of the home. Unusual environments make unusual conversations easier.) Having said that, how you go about doing that with a family member isn't always clear. If it seems impossible, then read on...

- Book a session with a counsellor and take it from there. People I know who've had suicidal thoughts have all benefited hugely from counselling sessions. They don't have to last forever - just until you feel strong enough to pick yourself up. It can be an amazing release to pour out your feelings to someone who is there to listen. Also, the fact that they do not already know you can be very helpful (for a number of reasons).

- I don't know what sort of job you do or how physical it is, but consider exercise as a way of releasing your "happy hormones". A brisk walk three or four times a week can do wonders for the head. A run or a swim can be even better, as they're more vigorous and more likely to have that psychological effect. None of these things will address the root of your problems but they may well give you the short term relief you need to get you through this dark period.

- People's lives change. There are up-slopes and down-slopes, and nobody stays on a down-slope forever. So these things are temporary, whereas suicide is permanent, and that makes it in inappropriate solution. That said, you don't have to stick out this difficult time alone. A counsellor can help.

I hope this is useful in some way. If you think I can be of any more help, feel free to PM me.

Steyr

6th wrote:

This might seem very obvious but it needs to be said .... Suicide is PERMANENT.

Well said, get out of home ( if still there ), get a new job, join a social club, what are you interested in? I aint had a missus in 2 years do i give a ****e? Am no, never let anybody bring you down, life is too short for that, nobody is perfect, get to a social club find out what you like, join a gym do something active which makes you feel good about youself, do something amazing! You can do it!

sunnyjim

Tbh, ya have the problems that all lads get man.

LegacyUser

When I was contemplating suicide I eventually decided to go on an anti-depressant, since I figured I might as well try something less permanent first. I saw my GP and then took an SSRI (called Seroxat) for about 3 or 4 months, and completely changed my perspective on life. I never really felt right about getting professional councilling myself, so I didn't, but that's probably a great idea too.

I know it's almost impossible to see a bright side when you feel this way, but there is one - you don't have anything left to lose now but your life. As long as you have that, you can go and do anything. You can walk away from everything and start over.

Ghost Rider

That's impossible for us to say. What we do know is that not all lads feel suicidal.

sunnyjim wrote:

Tbh, ya have the problems that all lads get man.

Bastack

I had a friend who was thinking of suicide and he finally went to councilling. This friend now has a wonderful life and is back enjoying life with friends and family. Dont give up......

r3nu4l

Yep, don't give up, ever! You'd be surprised how many people have felt as bad as you have at some point in their lives. Mine was about 9 years ago, thankfully I found a way out.

Contact AWARE
Contact The Samaritans
Contact a GP.

Try to go to an event like boards beers (if there are any in your area)
If you have any 'interests', try to join a club or society that shares that interest, people there will at least have that interest in common with you.

Talk with your family, your Mum works all hours but surely there is a time, even 5 mins, where you can let her know how you feel. Failing that, write her a letter (NOT a suicide letter!) just letting her know how you are feeling.

Good luck.

Fabio

Don't end your life.

You are a special person and you need to beleive that. You are just in the shadows at the moment but anytime noe light may shine in your direction and you'll be a lot happier. You have the same as anyone else has - two arms, two legs, eyes...you have a character, a conscience...

You must wake up and see these things and if you can see them then so will people around you and they may well become friends.

Be strong.

tbh

6th wrote:

This might seem very obvious but it needs to be said .... Suicide is PERMANENT.

The problem is, 6th, that to someone genuinely suicidal, this is a pro, not a con.

OP, the fact that you've posted on here shows that you still want to be rescued, and that's good. You need to realise that your life won't change without effort on your part, but the fact that you've recognised the problem shows that you can make that effort. Talking to the Samaritans is just as easy and anonymous as posting on here, and you'll feel much better afterwards - it's the first step back.

best of luck.

Uthur

Life is short enough already. We all die in the end so why be in a mad
rush to achieve death early? Hang on and see what happens in the
meantime - it will probably be better than you think.

Also, most suicide attempts fail - you could easily end up with horrible
injuries or liver failure or maybe even a wheelchair. Don't take this chance!

Go see a councellor/therapist. You will soon turn this bad spell around and
start enjoying life again.

keynesian

I felt there was no point in living from wanting to kill myself from nov '06 to june '06. Thought about it alot, and how I would do it. No point in half killing yourself. It's quite difficut thing to do, that even after you deside to do it. From june I 'worked' myself out of it slowly. I hate to say, but it was only when I reached my lowest point did I really start true looking up. Every ones differant, has to be said, and so is the solution.

The organizations mentioned above like aware can help alot and point you in the right direction.

Hope you feel stable soon, and in my eyes it's better out then in.

violatom

go out away from everything and see the world. its an amazing place out there, and not worth missing a second of. good luck.

LegacyUser

'A lot of people have felt this way OP. I know For the last 5 years I felt that way on and off. I came very very close one time, but I sturggled on. And I'm glad I did.
If you don't have people to talk to, join a chat room talk to people there. It will boost your confidence. People will tell you how nice you are to talk to.
You need someone to talk to, so perhaps try a councellor. If that doesn't appeal, do the chat room thing, you never knw how close you could end up with someone.'

af_thefragile

Hey dude, i wont give u any listent of councelling agencies or councellors to check out. I understand what you feel like. Life is ****, we cant help it. I havent been having the greatest time either and i'll admit i do feel sucidal at times but i only keep those feelings upto thoughts and never bring them to reality cuz its just stupid. Life is about trying hard and not giving up. Its a constant struggle. Maybe sometimes u can feel happy u are not the only one in this world who feels **** and there are people in worse conditions as you. They help at times but all those morals dont help much.

Internet forums are great places to find something to keep urself occupied... You'll come across loads of people and it'll be quite fun. But what i think works the best is finding yourself a hobby. Go out there and try to do something you like. For me, i'm big into music, wanna start a band and all so i picked up the guitar and thats one thing thats kept me going all along.. Its works awesome and girls find musicians, artists, surfers attractive! :P

Anyway i might not be able to help you much, but yeah, just remember life's not about giving up. You need to fight and achieve what you want and if u try hard enough, u'll get it! Just remember, YOU CAN'T GIVE UP!!!

alimel

Im going through pretty much the same as you. dont have much friends and feel like I cant talk to my family, all too involved in their own life to even invite me out let alone talk to me.
But I realised from talking to a trusted work colleague that ive been isolating myself from everyone. I havent been making an effort to talk or make conversation with anyone in work or at home and result getting myself more and more deeper into depression and loneliness.
Trust me if you tell someone how you're feeling you WILL feel better. It's just having the courage to be that open with your feelings.
On a really bad day i decided i had enough and went straight to my GP. I explained about my suicidal thoughts and severe depression and he referred me to a counsellor straight away. I have my first appointment tomorrow, so Im now even feeling more optimistic.

bogzilla

hey.

just from reading this thread i think you can see how many people will at one time experience the same feelings that you are now having, try not to be fearful of them, they happen to everyone.

secondly, if you're able to come on here and talk about it then you're obviously an outgoing person going through a rough patch, and there are plenty new friends and girlfriends out there for someone like you.

thirdly, when i went through a rough patch, i changed a few simple things that got me thinking in a whole new light.

1) i started to look at new jobs in my area, i didn't end up changing, but simply doing up the CV and understanding that there are many opportunites out there will give you a fresh perspective on your working life, also allows you to meet many new people.

2) expand your interests, perhaps a sporting club or otherwise. once again they allow you to meet similar minded people and fill up evenings and weekends.

3) talk to someone, family or professional. i had one chat with a professional and felt better almost immediately. i knew i wasn't "cured", because being lonely can never fully be cured, it visits us all from time to time. but i came to understand that, remember we all have ups and downs.

remember, that you are not alone, there are many many people in the celtic tiger who are not as happy inside as they "seem" outside. trust that you've got a lot to offer and slowly try to make some practical changes in you day to day life.

take it easy.

bog.

r3nu4l

@alimel - Nice one, good for you, go for it

bogzilla wrote:

there are many many people in the celtic tiger who are not as happy inside as they "seem" outside.

quoted for truth (qft)! When I first opened up to someone, she turned around and said 'but you're always so positive and happy!' She had no idea and sometimes that's the way it is, people think you are fine, or happy to be alone and so leave you to "do your thing". In most cases, when people find out, they change their attitudes immediately. Human beings are not as nasty as we like to think we are.

Come on OP, let us know how you're thinking now, there is loads of support both from your 'virtual' friends at boards.ie and in real life. Sometimes you have to look for them, like you did with this thread. Keep it up and you'll find what you need

Lou.m

HELLO:)


I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL BEING FULL OF LIFE AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD .

PLEASE DO NOT DEPRIVE US OF YOUR COMPANY IN THIS WORLD WE NEED ALL THE SENSITIVE SOULS WE CAN GET.

YOU ARE VERY PRECIOUS.

PLEASE GET SOME HELP RING THE SAMARITONS TONIGHT OR GO FIND A COUNCILLOR RIGHT NOW.

IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SUFFER LIKE THIS YOUR LIFE CAN BE HAPPY AND FULLFILLED YOU JUST NEED TO FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP A PROFESSIONAL WHO UNDERSTANDS HOW SERIOUS THIS IS.

THERE IS HOPE I PROMISE.

THINK OF THE PROFOUND SADNESS THERE WOULD BE IF YOU LEFT THIS WORLD AND THERE WOULD BE.

YOU CAN BE HAPPY AND YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

I WISH YOU LOVE AND LIGHT AND HAPPINESS KEEP SAFE AND PLEASE FIND HELP NOW I REPEAT FIND HELP NOW:o