Worried about sex turning into Pregnancy!

stevie33

Me & my girlfriend have been going out for 7 months and recently the topic of sex has come up and we've had sex three times (I'm her first which I think could be key!).

But now she can't have sex cause she has a phobia about getting pregnant. Don't get me wrong of course i enjoy it but i mainly want to be there for her. She feels shes ready apart from her phobia.

I just want her to feel 100% comfortable. She wants to do it for me but I've told her multiple times that it isn't important. But yet it still comes up cause she does want to do it.

She's on the pill, i use the condom and we withdraw as well. I just want her to make a decision and be happy with it! Any advice will be greatly appreciated! Cheers.

mrsdewinter

That's a lotta precautions there. Sexual desire comes and goes. Right now, her fear of pregnancy is outweighing the benefits of sex. In a week's time, she could be all over you once again. Sounds like you're doing the right thing by being there for her, and gently discussing the situation with her. You're still cuddling, right? As long as the lines of communication remain clear, it should pan out okay. If it goes on for a couple of months, though... if it was me, I'd be afraid I'd forget how to do it

stevie33

Well to be honest I don't really care if we do it, it's just cause its a recent topic she really wants to do it for me (regadless of how much i tell her not to worry!)

And yeah, we do still cuddle, our relationship is so strong, probably the best it's been! We will sleep together (as in the type where you dream!) if we get a chance and still engage in other sexual acts but not as much as before all this... but with much more passion and emotion behind it.

biko

It's probably not a phobia, it's just that she is the one having to carry the child if there is one. Not likely... unless your name is Eamon Manley

As you continue having sex (well protected) her pregnancy fears will lessen and you can both enjoy it more and more.

wingnut

Implanon all the way baby. Not one pregnancy on it yet! Much better than bothering with pills/condoms and statiscally much more reliable.

Talliesin

There's a difference between a phobia and a disproportionate fear.

If it is a phobia then only therapy will help. If it's merely a disproportionate fear, then it will most likely ease with time.

stevie33 wrote:

still engage in other sexual acts but not as much as before all this... but with much more passion and emotion behind it.

Hey, anything which brings more passion and emotion is quite possibly going to be a good thing long-term.

stevie33

Well I dont actually think its a phobia but she does. Her mum and teachers have brought her up thinking that if she was to get pregnant before marriage they would be very disappointed but yet tell her if she's having sex to be safe.

I agree that with time she will relax, her period since the last two times we had sex is due in about two weeks so after that hopefully she'll relax, I just want her not to stress so much and realise its not a big part of our relationship. She mean's so much more to me than just that.

I've checked out that 'Implanon' and it does seem pretty good, is that available at a normal doctors or will an appointment be needed at a hospital?

And yeah with the passion its great, we really want each other but its out of love rather than lust.


Just want to say thanks to everyone who's posted on this, it really does mean a lot to me! Thanks!

P.S. Last Question - Do I tell her about this thread or do I leave it in fear of her getting upset about me telling people our business??

biko

Don't tell her about this thread, she'll blow her top!
Just do what feels best for her and it's all gonna work out. Good luck!