What to do...

LegacyUser

Just to apologise in advance cuse this is going to be a long one.

I've been with my girlfriend for 4 months now and up until christmas things were goin great. Shes french and decided to come here in May last year. We met in October and at that time she had a large group of friends, who used to visit her and go on nights out etc. Around the end of November she stopped talking to all of them, the reasons for which I'm still not very clear on.

What I gathered was that she was supposed to be arranging contracts for them in her place of work (she was in HR), and something happened which I still have not found out. Needless to say I haven't seen these people since. So it ended up being myself and her housemate who were her only real friends in this country.

She went back home for a few weeks at the start of december. When she came back it was nearly christmas time, so being the nice boyfriend and all, I invited her to stay with me at my parents house for christmas. Heres where the problem started. She stayed for 2 weeks straight and by the end of it, my parents were pretty p1ssed off and asked me to send her home.

Her housemate was not there so I left her on her own as I had to go back to work. She went back to work for 2 days and then decided to walk out of the job. Her housemate works all day as well, so she was pretty much alone for the whole day. Last week she rang me at work saying she felt very ill, and had blacked out a few times during the day.

I went to see her that night and she was in tears, saying she could not open her eyes and felt really unwell. The housemate was once again staying with her sister and wasn't there. My mother called her on Thursday afternoon, and hearing how "sick" she was decided to bring her out to my house again.

My cousins are visiting this weekend, and last night my gf had another blackout on the floor of my bedroom. Cue absolute panic in the house and an ambulance was called. I spent 6 hours in A&E with her last night only for the doctors to tell me "that there is absolutely nothing wrong with her". She denied saying it was real. I decided this morning I couldn't put up with this and drove her back to her own house, where yet again, the housemate is not staying the weekend. She threw a tantrum with me telling me how sick she is and I am leaving her on her own. She stormed out of my car and into her house. I haven't talked to her since.

To be honest I'm sick of playing babysitter for her housemate. I haven't seen my friends in a while because she is constantly with me. Having my cousins over this weekend, I want to spend time with them but she went and ruined it last night with her dramatics. Its not my fault she lost her all her friends and I'm really starting to wish she'd just go home for good.

bronte

God you've really been through a lot.
Can I ask why your family wanted her out of the house at christmas?
If it was because of dramatic behaviour, then i'd understand!
Sometimes people can behave in erratic ways for attention, and If the blackouts were faked, then obviously this is what it was.
Did you actually see the blackouts happen?
It's odd that she lost all her friends so suddenly.
Surely she could have explained that she wasn't able to find them all jobs.
If they were real friends this wouldn't have affected the friendship.
You seem like a really decent guy who gave up a lot of his time and effort for this girl...a lot of guys wouldn't have done this!

Jotter

at the risk of being very racist I work for a french company and have socialised with a few french people that used to work there, my now husband used to have a french female flatmate when I was first going out with him. Very dramatic people, very highly stung, all of the french people I knew took drugs, even the ones that had high positions within company, they were all from my point of view a bit mad, and I was glad to be rid of them and their dramatics. All of this of course is a complete sterotype based upon my experiences but Im not at all shocked to hear your gf is french and carrying on like that.
You have been very nice to her, the hosp says shes fine, tell her if shes unwell she needs to go home to be with her family and get treatment and finish with her. good luck!

dame

Jotter wrote:

You have been very nice to her, the hosp says shes fine, tell her if shes unwell she needs to go home to be with her family and get treatment and finish with her. good luck!

Second that

King of Kings

bronte wrote:

God you've really been through a lot.
Can I ask why your family wanted her out of the house at christmas?

she stayed for 2 weeks. she was squating.


OP - Looks like she is an attention seeker. i'd get rid.

walrusgumble

i think the rest are right, she could some how turn you against your prople. to be far 2 weeks is along time, families do want their own privacy and she seemed to have got on their verves. then again your mother was very good to take her back when she started having black outs.

is it possible to speak to her housemate, come from a neutral stance and see what her problem is with your girllfriens, assuming there is one. because it would be the housemate who would have witnessed the dark sde of her more than you would. maybe try snoop around and see if your girl is taking drugs etc to see what the blackouts are all about. you seemed to have tried to talk to her and she is not having any of it.

you know and everyone else knows that relationships are about an equal balance of give and take. you are been the decent boyfriend, you love her/like her. but ask yourself, do you think she would be as caring and supportive to you if you, say contract a really heavy virus/flu or you had some trouble? by the sounds of it, if her carry on is causing a rift beteween ye, get rid of her before she really wreaks your head, and affects your life. you want to be with her for the usual reasons anyone wants to be with their partner and not merely because you are her baby sitter or your there cause no one else is. you are her boyfriend not her social worker/career, there is only so muh you can do.

kryan1

King of Kings wrote:

she stayed for 2 weeks. she was squating.


OP - Looks like she is an attention seeker. i'd get rid.

Ok, she is prob looking for attention, but there is something else that is at the root of the problem. Why did she fall out with her mates? thats the answer there. Previous to that everything was fine. So i think thats what is wrong. She is in a foreign country and now without any friends for what ever reason. Give her a break and talk 2 here. All this could be very depressing for her.
Talk 2 her and find out what the original prob was.